The Courage to Tell it Like it is

Lucy like she is: eyes obscured for an entire season by her favorite blue hat

Whether we're writing or shooting, we are always telling our stories. There is so much we are trying to capture--how it is, but also the feeling or the experience of the moment. With all of our digital tricks and tools, I can't help but wonder if our idealism isn't sneaking in to tinker a bit, much like a writer using her words to defend herself, her point-of-view or position rather than lay herself bare.

And who among us does not at times crave a life that is sharper, a little more in focus? Or a love that sports a little color boost, an adventure with some ambient light or a moment with a soft blur around the edge? We're surrounded by media that whets the appetite of our ideals, and sometimes through our lenses and our software it seems the key is finally in hand--that our ideal life can come into being in our albums or on our websites, which conveniently leave out our bad moods and arguments and all the living that unfolds inside less-than-perfect lighting.

It takes courage to tell the story as it is, not as it could be. Many photo spreads in mainstream magazines look so exquisite because they don't have human beings in them to mar the scene. They portray a world above the fray of our messy humanity, something to which we can aspire because it seems divine. By following their lead, even with our small "improvements" like editing out blemishes and strategically cropping, which have become endemic in the photo world, are we chiseling away at our humanity? At the truth of our experience? Are we solidifying idealistic expectations for the next generation that bear little resemblance to the reality they will find?

I understand that there is the thing, and then there is the interpretation of the thing--and that much of our work lives in the realm of interpretation. But in honor of today's giveaway for a copy of Don't Write: A Reluctant Journal, I'd like to encourage you to shoot or write a piece of your story in a way that takes courage and a willingness to lay yourself bare. Just maybe you could tell it once, the way it really is, without your seductive little moves. You don't have to show anyone, you don't have to tell--but between you and the page, the journal, the photo archive, you would know the story.

Just the way it is.

Words, photograph and giveaway by Honorary Sister / Guest Blogger Jen Lee. Jen is a writer and spoken word artist in Brooklyn, NY. She is the author of Don't Write: A Reluctant Journal and Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark.

 

Leave your comment here today for your chance to win a copy of Jen’s Book Don't Write: A Reluctant Journal.

Comments

[Lisa]

Great post!

[darlene]

i love it when i lay myself down bare on the page or in a photograph, the cringe that follows as i realize that i have captured a piece of me in awkward relief. i once posted a photo of myself crying in grief, mascara streaming down my face and realized that as i grabbed the camera and snapped the shot that somehow in that moment of capturing my pain, my pain subsided a bit as i helped round out the pieces of my sometimes beautiful sometimes messy life ... this post makes me smile.

[Heather]

This makes me want to run home and grab my camera but I'm stuck at work in a beautiful snow storm.

[Corey]

can i just say WOW! great post!

[deezee]

excellent prompting. I've been slack in the word department, and I will let this challenge swirl in my mind.

[D.K. Fisher]

Very well said. Sometimes it's nice to see life's imperfections.

[Deb]

I was a little sad and this post brightened my day.

[Stasi]

is no journal better than a reluctant one? I'm feeling thoughtful today and this is a great direction to direct myself

[Jodyangel]

Yes its very difficult to let people inside in our daily lives let alone this beautiful place. But healing can come from just letting it all be open. Too many times we only allow the pretty parts to show.
I am struggling to come to grips with a situation I have with my daughter. On christmas day she challenged me to give In to what she wanted or I would never see or speak to her or her children. I stood firm. It was and is the right thing to do. But a part of me is dying inside. It's ugly. And I have kept it close and secret inside me. "Keep the happy face on!!!"
So altho I am immersing myself in my art because it brings me such joy; I feel empty inside.
It isn't showing is it?

[Square-Peg Karen]

This is so interesting - and surendipitous (sp?) to me!

First I got excited about the Portfolio Project thing you (Jen Lee) have going and then I see THIS post. I've been writing all day - very excited about just getting to it--- and now I read your post about " telling it like it is". That's pretty much what my Portfolio Project will be - writing straight from the hip.

I've done that different times - but also come back and fuss with things..so much wanting that shined up life you mentioned...Today I'm playing with writing about - Naked Writing - writing "bare" - exposed - vulnerable ..as somewhat of a companion piece to a fun piece i wrote on a little blog i started recently. THAT piece (link here) was called Writing Naked : http://artellacafe.com/blogs/a_square-peg_view/archive/2008/11/03/22025.aspx

I LOVE this idea - the openness, vulnerability. The trust - in self, in ? , in life - that seems to me is the bedrock of doing this! Awesome post!

[Monica]

Oh ... such a meaningful reflection. I totally, 100% buy into what you're saying. I believe in imperfection. I try to live it (although it's damn hard). And it's important that I try to document how it really is, how it really feels. Because I'm hoping someday my girls will read my journals, look at the photos, page through the scrapbooks ... and know ... know that they are *perfect* when they're not. And that they are not failures b/c it's hard, or ugly, or imperfect, or messy. Thank you for the inspiration. It's so beautifully, thoughtfully, truthfully written.

[Kelly]

amazing and I am up for the challenge!!!!

[Esperanza P.]

Great picture and great post!

[SusanH]

Um, I've always been slightly afraid of challenges but this is a good one - I am going to rise to the challenge and overcome my fear!! Thanks for posting this - I'm also uncomfortable with self portraits but this is a good catalyst to get past that!

[Tracie]

Thanks for this post.

[kristin]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/14811117@N02/3147737395/

real moments
real love

[Alexandra]

AUTHENTICITY=BEAUTY. I am all for it.

[whitney]

This is very timely. A good dose of TRUTH is just what I need to move forward with my Portfolio Project! Oh how much I'd love to have a copy of Don't Write.

[Sherry]

I started journaling a year or two ago - hadn't since highschool. I'm finally finding my voice - telling my story the way I want to tell it. It took awhile to let go, to hear my voice, but the sound of it is good - not always pretty, not always nice or sweet, but it's me and it helps.

[Traci]

awesome! :)

[Mami Dearest]

Great thought provoking post. I needed that.

[Rachel Haynes]

As much as I love beauty, I love the truth more. http://bluealgaecreative.blogspot.com/2008/12/say-it-again.html
Thank you for this post, for the courage to speak about speaking the truth.

[Lee-Ann]

One of my recent posts on my blog was about how I stopped baring my soul b/c I knew there were people that I considered friends reading my blog, how I stopped being honest b/c they might get to know the 'real' me. Nuts, I tell you!! So thank you for your challenge. I was thinking about this very thing. Peace and honesty to you and yours this holiday season!

[elizabeth]

what a powerful and thought-provoking post. I will take up the challenge, though perhaps just not yet. :)

[Eden]

I don't seem to really know myself until I let it out! But it's a timing thing,
sometimes I find I have to uncover some layers of "shoulds" before I
find out what I really think and feel.

I'd love to read this book.

[buttercupyaya]

beautiful

[Bridge]

http://ridethewavesoflife.blogspot.com/2008/11/perseverance.html

This post immediately comes to mind.

[Jodi Renshaw]

Thank you for this post. I needed it.

Love,
Jodi

[Wanda]

This is how it is for me today...in the raw. I remember that my mother had a plaque in her kitchen that read "The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get."

http://whatwouldwandado.blogspot.com/2008/12/saturn-goes-retrograde-tomorrow.html

[patti]

Your post was very inspirational. It's given me lots to ponder and as a result, a fresh view of 2009 in my own little corner of the universe. Thank you for that.

[Robyn]

i would love love love a copy of this book!!! love this blog!

[Alexandra]

What a beautiful post and excellent, much needed reminder. It is so easy to hide behind things, especially for photographers behind the camera. Half-truths or gussied up realities are easy to let ourselves get away with. Though there is always fear in laying yourself bare, I think often we are at our most beautiful when we allow ourselves to be the most vulnerable. Thank you for this and I would love a copy of Jen's book because who doesn't need a little help along the way. Thanks again for this amazing post!

[WRO]

I knew as soon as I felt I had triumphed PPD, that I wanted to share my story with other women in crisis with the illness. Here I am two yrs. later and I am in full swing to offering my physical support, but my "story" remains, largely, unwritten. I WANT to write it all out. I want to give women, not the glossed over version, but details of the darkness and the shafts of light that finally shattered through it. I don't care if it's poetic, I don't care if it's not something that any publisher would approve and distribute in massive quantities...I simply want it to be authentic enough to offer hope to someone who is lost.

It's more than lack of courage that stops me though. It's the pain of re-living that time of my life, and it's the possibility that it won't make a difference, and what a waste it all will be. And now, here...I see an opportunity to just write it for me. Just tell it like it happened, in a saner state of mind, experience it all over again, and say adios to the pain, but not the memories. Really...can it be that simple and that scary?

"Are we solidifying idealistic expectations for the next generation that bear little resemblance to the reality they will find?" PPD may be a scary part of motherhood, but it exists for some nonetheless. And I wish that I had known the truth, the real truth before I slipped into it, so I knew better the signs to look out for. I am unpeeling layers as I type away here...

Thank you Jen for this...telling it like it is is not always easy (duh!), but it fels like it need to be done anyway.

WIld Roaming One