proof

Every once in awhile we are gifted one of those moments, those moments when something so obvious finally clicks in our head.  "LIGHT BULB!" (said in my best Gru voice) This past weekend, while cleaning out my basement, I realized that I had box, upon box, upon box of family photos.  Albums stuffed full of family portraits and snapshots.  Not posed photos, just shots of regular ordinary days and moments. Maybe a bigger life event thrown in here or there, like a birthday or a new baby, but mostly just life. Funny thing about all those shots, no one edited them or photoshopped them, or deleted them before they had a chance to be seen.  Photo upon photo of me as a child, my mom at the age I am now, all of my family members sitting there in those boxes looking back at me from the beauty of film. They are not hiding from the camera, or stretching out their neck to avoid the sagging neck skin, no, just smiles and real expressions.  Then I started to think about the shots of me the past 5 years.  There aren't many. Why? Mostly because I am the one holding the camera.  I am in control of not only what gets shot, but what remains and what is uploaded. Even if there is a shot taken of me, I have the option to hit that ever tempting delete button at all times.  Herein may lie the true gift of film,  there was no delete button! No one was turning their camera around and previewing their images then choosing what was kept and what was not. Now hear me out, I love digital, I love playing with my images, composing shots, clicking away to my heart's content.  I would not trade that, but what if the control that provides me ultimately keeps me from having images of myself?  What will my kids have when they are my age I am now?  They will have bazillion photos of themselves, yes definitely taking care of that, but what will they have of me, and us together, if I continue to delete them? I have all the excuses, "I look fat (I have been overweight most of my adult life so obviously I am not changing that overnight). This shot shows my double chin. Ugh look at those crows feet! My skin is showing its age and years of sun worshipping. The greys are taking over my scalp." blah. blah. blah. BORING. Do my kids care about all those excuses?  Do they look at me with the same critical eye I am obviously applying to myself?  Of course not. Aren't I teaching them that beauty comes in all shapes sizes colors and ages, yet somehow not applying those lessons to images of my own self?  Guilty as charged. 

SO what do I do about it?  I need to change, and I have been on this path searching for the beauty of me. Not about the pretty, all about the proof. The proof of my life.  The ME in our moments. I want my children to look back and have proof of this me now, and the me tomorrow, and the me 5 years from now.

Yesterday we went to the beach.  I had my camera along, clicking away at my kids.  They were flying kites, running in the sand, feeding the seagulls and I was watching them and documenting it all. I wanted proof that I was there too so I shot my feet in the sand next to my youngest's feet.  Later that afternoon as I was watching them run, I turned the camera around and clicked the image above. Just me, off center, slightly out of frame, soaking in the sun, crows feet and grey hairs representing. Content, present, alive, me, now.  Not for pretty, just for proof.

Does this speak to you?  Do you feel like you too hide or delete too much of YOU from your images? Fellow shutter sister Meredith Winn and I are launching our very first 6 week e-course in self portraiture next Monday April 23rd. Click on over to NOW YOU to read more about our upcoming class. Perhaps this is a journey you are ready to leap into too. 

Today I challenge you, I want to see your proof.  I do not want you to stress over editing or composing. I just want you to hold your camera in your hands, turn it around and focus on the beauty of you. Click!  Don't delete it. Upload and share your image with me please.  You are worthy.  You are here.  You deserve to be seen just as you are right now in this moment.

xo.

how we see ourselves

Shutter brother, Artfarmer, in the studio with his self portrait.

Artists use self-portraits to explore the basic question that plagues all of us: who am I? As early as the mid 1400's artists began painting themselves onto canvas. Later, with the invention of the camera (and mirrors) photographers began turning the image (and their artwork) inward as well. Yes, a mirror or a photograph can tell a person what he or she looks like, but we all know that the physical image doesn't reflect the whole self. We all know that photography can be 99% optical illusion. Self-portraiture insists that an artist embark on the journey of self-exploration. This journey of self brings about choices, the main one being how to represent him/herself authentically. You always get to choose how you see yourself, that is the beauty of self portraits. There's a growing group of like-minded friends ready to begin the journey of self... just as artists have done for hundreds of years. Does self portraiture call to you as well? 

There are lots of conversations I've seen online lately discussing the concept of "everyday beauty" and people are torn as to what that exactly means. Some folks feel this phrase has been overused, misused, or misconstrued. Everyday beauty is sometimes not beautiful at all, right? It's messy... we all know this. And so going with the literal definition of "beauty" can be confusing when approaching a topic as broad as art and self. And yet so often we try our best to clean it up. We shine it and polish it and try to make it presentable. Are we caught up in comparing our insides to other people's outsides? We photoshop and airbrush and texturize and soften. I have been known to do these things too, because I want to see what is aesthetically pleasing with my life... and so I organize the composition of my frame to put chaos into order. But can't everyday beauty include chaos? What is real is what is true: it's dishes in the sink, migraines, new love, and decay. Sometimes it screams in your face, sometimes it laughs. 

So, what is beautiful? Everyone has their own opinion. Self is beautiful, as is optical illusion. I believe life and reality... and the thought that we are here at all with our paints and film, exploring these thoughts... that is beautiful. All of it, no matter what, is worth documenting. You are allowed to view your life and your self with whatever filters you want to use. It's your life and your everyday! Your masculinity, your femininity, your weakness, your strength... it's all truth and worthy of being seen.

Today I'd love to hear your thoughts and words on the subject. What do you find yourself portraying most in your images? Why do we do the things we do? Share any images today of what you find to be beautiful, and help us redefine everyday beauty.

now you

It’s hard to explain, but part of me needs to visually define my outer boundaries of who I am as a person, woman, mother, sister, daughter, lover. There is no easier (nor harder) way to do this than through photography. Dare I say self portraiture helps me understand myself. It definitely helps me to be kind to myself, and remember who I am on the days when it’s easy to forget.

Now, after four+ years of self portraits, after traveling to meet like minded women and speak about my self portrait journey; it feels like the ultimate study of self. It has brought me a sense of quiet confidence, even as it brings me more questions about who i am. This is growth (and it is welcome here). 

This project of self I can only define as me seeking grace in the conflict. Seeking beauty in the decay. My self portraits document where I have been and where I am going. A circular timeline put on repeat. This is the peace within. The flurry and chaos. The solitude and stillness of wind. The reminder that life is blooming, that growth moves us forward with joy and anticipation. Self portraits are my practice in remembering it is ok to sit with the silence. And that through all the wreckage and reality, life is still beautiful.

Lessons come from being on the other side of the lens.
(These are thoughts on being seen.) Being seen is as important as sharing your voice.

I am worthy.
And so are you.

Now is the time to take back the control of how we see ourselves. Through the process of self portraiture, we come away with images to remind us the beauty of seeing... and being seen. As women, we are all these pieces of self. NOW is the time to embrace it.

Today I'm very excited to share with you the NOW YOU workshops e-course! This is an amazing online collaboration between myself and Kristin Zecchinelli. Registration opens today! Be sure to check out our website for more details like who we are, pricing and how to register, details about the e-course, and other faq's. Class size is limited, so click on over to read more and reserve your spot in class!

Are you ready to be find that brave beautiful you that dwells inside? Set yourself free of expectation and judgment. Seek and find yourself through your lens. Today share with us your thoughts on self portraiture. Do you enjoy self portraits? Do you loathe them? And please leave your selfies in the comments below. As always, it's great to see you!

an invitation to the weekend

The weekend.

There is nothing like it. A time to rest, rejuvinate, refuel. A time to wind down or wind up. A time to settle in or skip out. A time for family and friends, comfort and joy.

The weekend.

No matter how many have come and gone, as each new one approaches we look forward to it like a gift we cannot wait to open. And somehow we are surprised and delighted each and every week. As so it goes on and on.

The weekend.

For us, lovers of photography, there can be no better time to shoot. And because we want to honor not only the magic that is the weekend but also the Universal deep need to end the week and then begin it again with this sacred time of respite, we would like to invite you to share your weekends with us.

The weekend.

Starting in March we will be featuring weekend images from you here at Shutter Sisters. What does the weekend look like at your house? What moments capture the attention of your lens? What activities (or non-activities) do you hold dear at week's end? What do you create, cherish, capture when the weekend arrives yet again at your door?

Answer these questions for us in your images. Share some words if you want. Throw in a quote. Include a link. Tell us who you are and where we can find you online. Share yourself and your weekends with us and you might be featured right here in our new weekend series that will be posted each Saturday and will be featured through Sunday too. Because weekends are supposed to have two full days of goodness to enjoy.

If you would like to submit your weekend images for consideration in our weekend series, please send your shot(s) via email to us at click [at] shuttersisters [dot] com with the subject weekend. We can't wait to see how you do weekends and begin our series in March! Give us a hint in the comments today.

And above all else, enjoy. The weekend.

trust

What a great month it has been watching all 'your words' appear here and in our One Word Project pool on Flickr. However you chose it, may your word serve you well. May it guide you, encourage you, remind you, inspire you. May it whisper to your soul when you need it most. May it push you past the not so good days and help you celebrate all life has in store for you. You have only just begun your journey this year,  now you need to have faith that your word is the one, and then trust in the process. Embrace this new year, as you have embraced your word. If you are still searching for your word, it will come, trust in that. Perhaps when you least expect it, or stop trying to find it, it will find you. If you need a little extra inspiration check out all the amazing images contributed this month in the OWP pool, or perhaps re-watch that great video Chris so beautifully curated last week in her "power of one" post. (if you missed it last Tuesday, do click on over now) I love that video, it feels so powerful.

I can wholeheartedly say I really feel my word this year. It was not at all the word I thought I needed.  In the beginning of January when I began contemplating a word for me and my year, I was feeling words like simplify, center, & balance, all good things, but internally I knew something was missing and it was holding me back from fully committing to any one of those words.  Then a dear friend and I spoke and she shared her heart with me and that she too was feeling many of those words but that they did not feel proactive enough. That was exactly it!  As soon as she said that I knew that was what my heart was longing for, an action word!  Those, to me, seem riskier, scarier, therefore making me more vulnerable.  That may be true, but that is just what I need to push myself this year. On my drive home that day my word hit me, become.  Now I am embracing it, fears, nerves and all. My word is speaking loudly and I am listening.

Tomorrow we begin a new month and announce a new one word, but we have right now to celebrate all of our individual words one last time. Tell us, how do you feel about your word, are you trusting in the process? Do you feel it doing its work?