"mistakes"

Do you ever feel like your images are not the ones you'd envisioned? For me, they're usually better or worse. And it makes me think about the idea of expectation. We can plan out our lives and photographs, but things never play out exactly the way we think they will. I don't delete the planned photographs more than the lucky mistakes. But if they don't "turn out", there seems to be more dissapointment associated. When you step in to arrange things, you're more attached to the results. But lately, I like the "mistakes" most. They're like little glimpses of the parts I didn't know, or didn't see. And that's more exciting than what I was expecting. Do you have any lucky mistakes to share? We'd love to see them!  

honesty

I'm used to the way my camera feels. I don't think about the buttons or dials. It sits more as an extension of my hands and my eye, and it feels natural. But sometimes I think about how un-natural it must feel to my clients. Me (a stranger) pointing a big microscope at them, hoping they'll trust me enough to show me something real. It's asking a lot, and I try to remember that. Even though, it's far from being a formula for success. There are so many variables that go into that delicate dance of getting to know someone on a shoot: newborns peeing on laps, fathers who want to be somewhere else, exhausted pregnant mommies, weather that doesn't cooperate. You never know what you're going to get. But no matter how different each photo session looks or feels, there's only one thing I'm ever looking for. Honesty. Saying cheese is easy. Expected. And sometimes it's necessary to go through the motions to get to the good stuff. But the cheese is never interesting. Not in a conversation, and not in a photograph. It's always a form of honesty that inspires me. We find ourselves in each other, and that makes us feel connected. I think the most important tool that a photographer has, is his or her ability to be vulnerable first. We must be willing to show our selves, before we can expect others to reveal their true moments to us.

beauty

"Why is everyone so happy except for me?" asked the student.

"Because they have learned to see goodness and beauty everywhere." said the master.

"Why don't I see goodness and beauty everywhere?"

"Because you cannot see outside of you what you fail to see inside."

~Anthony DeMello

free

This post is along the same lines as Tracy's yesterday, when she was talking about obsession. I think artists are especially interesting because the evolution of their life is out there for everyone to see. When I look back at my earlier work, with the perspective I have now, it seems like a whole different world. Buttoned up, and posed, and trying hard to be"perfect". My portraiture was an extension of how I lived my life, which was very aware of the critique. Then it started to get exhausting. There wasn't a turning point moment. Just the fact that lately I haven't been editing as much as I used to...in life or in photography. I'm not as afraid to show the messy bits...like the ones where mom is leaning in to fix her daughter's hair; or the ones that are so out of focus, they turn into impressions. People can make up their own minds. Either way I feel the same about my work, and about myself. I feel like I've begun to let go of the illusion of control. And my photographs (and I) are a teensy bit more free these days. What about you? Do you have any shots that make you feel this way?

a thousand words

There's something about the notion of taking a photograph every day that I find interesting. Last year, I was  in love with this collection of mornings ,(now evenings). I want to get back into the habit of noticing. Not because the light is right. Or because she's-growing-so-fast-and-I-better. I want to have a reason to just shoot whatever catches my eye. So, I've started taking (at least) a photograph per day. Not for work. And not like vitamins. I'm not going to make a big deal rule out of it. No certain ways. And the photo doesn't even have to be "good". Because I don't know about you, but sometimes I just want to capture the moment. Quickly, maybe out of focus. Whatever. Just something so that when I look back on it, I will remember that moment in all it's flawed perfection. When you shoot photographs for a living, you get into a nasty habit of only doing it for a living. So this is where I'm starting, with my little collection of snap shots that were taken over the past few days. I like the idea that each day is important enough to have its portrait taken. Want to join me?