The Courage To Let It Click

She was holding on for dear life, trying not to cry, trying not to care that everyone else had their face pressed to the viewfinder, while she sat on the blanket, her hands all the sudden empty and bored. 

It's okay, she told me later.  It's fine.  Everyone has their thing, mine just happens to not be photography.   I can be totally okay with that.  Not everyone is creative.

I listen while she pulls yet another fabulous color out of her suitcase, while she wraps her body in elegance and magic.  I watch while she takes her regal unassuming self right into the kitchen, where she arranges a magnificent feast on a platter, a feast so vibrant and fine, I wish for my camera that instant, so I can capture her palette forever.   What would happen, I ask myself, if I could see the world through her lens?  If she had the courage to let it click--her every waking impulse and this art coursing through her veins?

Every artist starts somewhere, I tell her months later, when she tells me her hands still feel empty, when I can see her sadness over having no outlet is still so great.  I threw thirteen dinner parties the year before I realized I could embrace my art in a more deliberate way, I tell her.  And before that I befriended a dozen fabulous artists.  And before that I wrapped a thousand exquisite Christmas presents.   It's a sign, I say, hoping she can hear me, that your hands are meant to create, that your eyes have a certain kind of seeing, that would make this world a better place.

She muses on that while I remember every kind creative friend who passed me her paintbrush, her drawing pencil, her Canon, so I could see for just an instant what it would feel like to be the truest, most artful me.  The creative person I had always been, the artist I was always meant to be.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Today, why not pass your camera to someone you love, someone whose admiration for your pictures might be a sign of a shutter sister waiting to be born?  And please tell us in the comments how you came to love photography, about the time when you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, you could capture a beautiful picture, too.  We have some would-be photographers lurking out there who really need to hear your story.

Comments

[busymomma66]

Jen,
You are sooo beautiful. You instantly put my focus to where it needs to be. Thank you for this.

[Glad Doggett]

I love this post. For many years, I was a single mom raising kids, working, keeping it all together -- and I could not give myself permission to be "creative. But in spite of my hectic life, I always felt a yearning that I couldn't describe or fill

Now, my kids are older, I married a wonderful man and life has eased a bit.

I've started to slowly allow my creative self out of bondage. I've started doodling/painting/drawing a bit. I'm not good at it, but I like the way I feel when I'm creating. I've also picked up my point-and-shoot camera and have begun capturing moments I find beautiful; yesterday, I took my first-ever sewing class. I loved it. In spite of clumsy hands and my feelings of uncertainty, I am having fun and slowly discovering that I need a creative outlet in my life. The yearning is ebbing and I am filled with joy.

This site is an affirmation of my need, and I'm so happy I found it.

Thank you all for sharing your creativity here!!

[Sarah]

This isn't just a message for those on the cusp of embracing some creative piece of themselves. It's also something that occasionally needs to be heard by those of us who have gone beyond those first steps. That perception of ourselves as being "not very good" at a thing is hard to let go of. We have to be reminded that every picture, every brush stoke, or pencil mark, or stitch is a part of our learning. And we have to learn to make the distinction that though not everything we create will be good, that doesn't mean that we ourselves are not good. We may not always be skillful but we are not without skill. Sometimes we need to have the courage to let go, to stop trying, to play, to have faith in ourselves and our abilities. A kind of magic can happen when we do. Not always. But when it does, it can be wonderful.

[Jen]

An amazing post, creativity can bloom in all of us. Some of us just need to find the right medium. I have more than dabbled in many art forms with nothing seeming to fit correctly. And most of them not giving me the satisfaction of being to relay what I was feeling, what I was seeing. It was frustrating! I tried stiffling my creativity for awhile, ignoring it, but it used to pop out somewhere else all the time. And then my husband talked me into buying a digital camera. My life has never been the same since. I am on my third camera, a new business, and a fufillment that I could never have imagined before. It allows me to express, and capture, what I see, and I am more than willing to help others do the same.
Thanks for writing such a great post.
Jen

[Ashley]

god this is so funny that you posted this today. my baby brother is taking a digital photography class in school right now and asked to borrow my camera over the weekend.

we went on a mini road adventure in our town and I watched as he sat and examined the camera, shot from all different angles, and got that gleam in his eye - the same one I must have had the day I found the magic within the lens.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleydano/2944733938/in/photostream/

To anyone who wants to try but is scared - I was you. I didn't know if I had any creativity in my bones.

Now I know I have loads of it, pouring out of me. It is the best release you will ever know.

[Betsy]

Hurray for a fabulous dose of inspiration. Great way to start my day. I know if I am not being creative then I don't feel like myself.

Sometimes I become discouraged when I see these blogs that seem to have wonderful creativity just pouring out of them. I have to remind myself that I am just as creative but often in a different way. sometimes it's just a matter of baking a loaf of bread or taking extra care on the envelope I am addressing.

A little intentional creativity takes me a long way and is a great place to start.

[Wayfaring Wanderer]

"The creative person I had always been, the artist I was always meant to be." WOW.....I positively LOVE LOVE LOVE that statement, so poignant.

My photographic journey sort of began when my Dad gave me my first camera at the age of 10; I really thought I was something else with that time/date stamp feature. However, it wasn't until I graduated from high school that I began to get more curious about photography. I was still only taking photos of friends and family though. The pictures were good, but I had no clue whatsoever about the technicalities of a photograph and how to manipulate them. This remained the case for years, up until recently.

Two years ago, I had major neck surgery, and because of that surgery, I lost my ability to do what I cherished most in life, which was ROCK CLIMBING. I lived and breathed that sport, it was my Zen. After my surgery, I desperately needed something to fill the hole I felt from the loss of not being able to rock climb, and photography became that saving grace. It was only then that I began to take photography more seriously, and in the two years that I have been recovering, photography has become a very huge part of my life. I truly believe that I have made leaps and bounds in the realm of photography during this short period of time, and the continued learning process keeps me on my toes - it never ends.

Through it all, I realized that a silver lining can be found in most everything.......with that being said, I'm so very thankful that my life took the turn it did (even if it meant having 3 discs removed from my neck), had it not.....I wouldn't be where I am right now :o)

Make your own magic:
http://www.wayfaringwanderer.com/2008/10/imagination-fabrication.html

[Chocolate on my Cranium]

I never really discovered my creativity until I became a mother. We have to be quick on our feet and think up some grand ideas to keep those little fingers and hands occupied.

My dad bought my digital camera (Canon Rebel xTi) for Christmas two years ago. It's opened up a whole new world. I can be creative for me, not my children, although most of the photos I take are of them. It's my escape at the end of the day to take a walk with camera in hand to capture the scenes of our farm and my children at play.

[Elizabeth Harper]

I knew I could communicate with my camera when I did my first PJ project at fifteen while still in high school. At a time in my life when I had secrets too sad to share, I photographed a series of projects that would look like an SOS to a teacher today. Instead of sweet and sentimental, I sought out the images that fit my internal life. I took endless photographs of scrawny malnourished puppies warehoused in cages at puppy mills and when I could get away with it, I coaxed the elderly and very poor into letting me record their lives so that all might be able to see the faces of those who were trapped in place, living out the end of their days in the middle of decaying neighborhoods.

There was nothing joyful in any of my photographs then, but that camera saved me. It was my voice when I couldn't speak and in the eyes of others, the emotion reflected back was a lifeline that kept my heart open to the healing that would come later.

My camera was my connection.

[amy nickerson]

You know, sometimes I still have to convince myself that I do have a creative eye for photography. I've always considering myself an artist, but a camera was never my medium. It's been a process to learn that I don't have to be Annie Leibovitz or Ansel Adams to capture my view of the world in my own way. What once was just a hobby has now become a passion. And that's something I cannot deny...

Perhaps my work will never hang on the walls of a gallery, but I'll keep clicking away. My camera has become a part of who I am.

[Cartwheels At Midnight/Paige]

I share my camera with my daughter. She is 13 and has an amazing eye:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cartwheelsatmidnight/2362451011/

In my last marriage, I was not "The Photographer." My ex-husband was. By virtue of the fact that he had taken photography classes in high school and college and because he had the camera, he was the photographer. But I was often disappointed in his photos. There were no people in them. When we went to the zoo, we ended up with 100 snapshots of animals. When we went on vacation, we ended up with snapshots of buildings. Or beaches. The digital era opened up a whole new world to me, starting with my little Canon Elph. I have since moved on to a Rebel XT and have taken thousands of photos since my little Elph.

Then, a couple of years ago, I remember making the statement to someone (I don't even remember who), "I'm not creative." Not being self-depreciating, just stating Fact. Whoever I was talking to (Beth, maybe?) stopped in her tracks and looked at me and said, "Paige. What is your definition of Creativity? You are very creative. You make your own jewelry. Your own cards. You take beautiful photos. Your house is perfectly decorated. You are creative." I have since forgotten who I was with, but that conversation still resonates through my head. I can't draw. And I can't paint, don't even ask me to sing, but I can create beauty where there was none.

[jfrancis]

The royalty
of this world
sometime resides
in obscurity,
clothed in work.

[tracey]

what an incredible post. i know the amazing woman behind this story...the hands that are meant to create. what she doesn't realize is that she does create such beauty each day. but i understand your point here jen and indeed, what a glorious point of view it would be to see it through her eyes, her words, her lens, her blog. (gentle nudge to her)

not everyone is creative.
those words break my heart into a million pieces. on the contrary-everyone is creative in their own way. and there lies the importance of empowering one another to find that piece of our life's puzzle. it's there waiting to be discovered, longing to be nurtured and cared for. it's that very part of ourselves that will set us free.

it reminds me of this gem i just read at gypsy girl's blog.
http://www.gypsygirlsguide.com/2008/10/i_wanted_to_tell_you.html

thanks so much for sharing this today Jen.

[Stacy]

What a beautiful post, Jen.

I hear that so many times from others - that they lack the creativity. I think perhaps they lack the confidence to be creative. There are no rules to being creative, so really there is no failure. It is simply our attempt to make the world into our best vision. There is no failure innate to being creative. It is a wonderful outlet for us to just be ourselves for no other purpose than self-fulfillment.

My journey in photography began along the same course as my journey into motherhood. It is my attempt to capture the magic in my children's eyes and in their personalities. Having created images of my children that make my heart ache is the most rewarding part of this learning process I have taken.

http://thelandofka.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/20081008_3393.jpg

[simply blogged / leaca's philosophy]

For years I have had a creative outlet of some sort but nothing really took and held. I just had to have something to do when my kids were young to feel that need to create.

Last year, almost a year ago, I noticed my kids did not need me like they used to and I had blocks of time with nothing to do. I did not want to fill it with just anything so I decided to pick up the Canon XT that my husband bought me years earlier and learn to use it. Now, I am in love with photography and can't stop. Everyone around me, including my family, have been so encouraging and even call me a photographer when they introduce me.

[Corey]

What a beautifully written post. Thank you!

[Becki Hansen (a.k.a. Sockrma18)]

I have, all my life, told myself that I was just not a creative person. That if I tried, I'd fail. That if I wanted to be something or do something, it would just be too much work and so no doubt I never started or tried anything new.

That is until May 31, 2007, when I was told my "career was over due to downsizing" and all the sudden I was in a situation I had no clue how to get out of. For 6 months I searched and searched for a job to feed my family and pay my bills. God provided for me. He always does. With my severance check I bought a Nikon D80 and a couple of lenses....it was so crazy at the time to spend that money on a new camera and lenses, but I always wanted one and God told me very loudly (and many times...I really don't listen well) that it was OK. He had a plan for me.

And that He did....

I started creating, taking risks and in the process found the real me. The one that was once so afraid to take a chance for fear of failure, had taken a very large leap of faith.

I have been a part-time photographer now for "officially" 6 months. Working towards taking another leap this spring and going full time. God will show you which path to take if you just put the lens to your face and see what He sees. He gave me a talent and desire I had no idea was there until my life circumstances made me see what He sees in me.

God is good!

[Marcie]

"The creative person I had always been, the artist I was always meant to be."
A beautiful post...
Everyone's creative journey and path is so different. Altho always involved in creativity of one sort or another..my photography began at a time when I was totally overwhelmed by a child who was struggling with his own demons and disabilities. Needing an outlet and some space of my own..I picked up my camera and started viewing the world thru my own lens..instead of his.
He is doing fine now...and I am still clicking away.

[Julie Alvarez]

I always loved cinema. Since I was able to reason, or even before.
I thought I would study anthropology and paint. I always painted, and my mother is a painter and tought me many tools.
When we picked careers, my sister chose anthropology, and I chose cinema (film making). I finished it, but never got a job there, for I discovered music (a much more immediate way of expression, more suitable for my ammount of passion). So I am a singer.
My sister finished her career, but meanwhile she became a photographer (very good one), and quit piano.
I never thought that I could feel like a photographer, because I felt that I haven't got the eye (with the camera), and the technique. But then, I had that feeling that the "eye" was on me. I could see things, and create things witht those things in my head. So I started to pay attention to what I was acquiring and my photos. And when I could let go that sisterly-comparing thing, I realized that I really liked them!
So, I take pictures.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/sets/72157608009674093/

[Mariella]

So powerful! What an inspirational post. Thank you - I am searching....this is helping me find my way. ~ M.

[shelli]

What a inspirational post. If I ever meet someone who needs an outlet, I'll hand them my camera.

When I was growing up, my father always had TWO cameras hanging around his neck! He had two 35mm Topcon cameras (I suppose they were the "top" at that time because he never buys cheap). He used one for print and one for slides. He never gave me his cameras until I was an adult - I never asked for them. But I did get to look at countless photos, and I suppose that's where the bug began. Then my brother (who's 9 years my senior) sold me his Minolta 35mm w/ kit lens and a telephoto lens for real cheap when I was in my twenties. I never really got the hang of the technical side of photography, but I did take a photography class, and I read up on it. Later I abandoned that camera because it was so heavy and something was wrong with it - I was too broke to have it looked at. I used point and shoots for a long time until my friend Maya -- http://springtreeroad.typepad.com/springtreeroad/ -- inspired me with her wonderful photos. And then she led me to Shutter Sisters and that really did it. I got a DSLR this summer, and I'm in love.

Thank you, Shutter Sisters!

[Sandi]

I have been an artist all my life. From the time I started coloring Holly Hobbie coloring books with obsession..to now as a middle aged adult doing charcoal and chalk drawings.
I have recently picked up photography and LOVE the freedom of it..the expression.. I am loving it.
I have an older digital camera.. by far not professional..but for now it is doing wonderful things.
thanks for the great post.

[melody is slurping life]

A simple, thank you, Jen.

[Jodyangel]

I have always loved art in one form or another. When I was in High School I remember learning to crochet. I can picture myself sitting History crocheting while listening to the teacher. It then went to counted cross stiching (hard on eyes lol), knitting, tatting, quilt making and finally ran a small home based business sewing specialty infant/childrens wear and christening apparel. My children were small or in school at the time and I was working very minimally. I was always known as "crafty". I now know its artistry. I wish I had time these days to create.
But in August I started my flickr account and found shutter sisters. I quickly became inthralled with the artistry called photography. I wanted to Do this. Be this. I couldn't drink it in fast enough. But I only had a small but nice point and shoot canon. I decided I would investigate into buying my own Real camera. Hubby and I went laptop shopping oneday in august in bestbuy. As he and his son went to look into the Pc's, I said I was looking at the camera's. Hubby was like.. "uh oh" lol. He soon joined me and listened to the young man who was explaining the diff. camera's to me. I initially thought I would get a Rebel, but this salesman sold me onto the Canon 40D. His eyes gleamed as he explained how this was His camera and how wonderful it was. My husband is of the mindset to buy what you really want right off the bat rather than buy and sell up to it. So he bought me my camera that very day.
He now proudly tells people the camera is attached to me at the shoulder lol. I have taken thousands of photo's over the last 2 months. I sooo need to take a class but have no time at the moment. So I'm winging it. And I love it. Capturing moments is almost magic to me. I read and scan photo blogs. I love the philosophy brought to me from Shutter Sisters. It truly is a sisterhood. And their love of taking photo's is evident and real. I have always taken photo's. But now I'm making art. I love it!
Hubby asked me one night about using my camera. He had an idea of lining up his pretty little bullets to make his own screen for his laptop. So I put it on auto and he snapped away. I think this came out pretty neat. And it looks great on his pc!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodyangel/2825827794/in/set-72157607029502356/

[Cheryl Doran-Girard]

When I was ten I received a Kodak "Brownie" box camera and one roll of film--a couple of the grainy out-of-focus photos of Girl Scout friends are still around somewhere. Intrigued always by the wonderfully clear and beautiful images made by my father, the photographer for all family and community events while I was growing up, I cycled through a number of point and shoots never learning anything about aperture, shutter speed, ISO and the like.
After my second divorce and house sale, I decided that it was time to grow up and I began a learning curve with SLR film equipment. I quickly moved on to DSLR and early next year I am embarking on a frightening and uplifting journey by taking a week-long intensive in basic skills. I want to move beyond the "green box" and make images that will reflect my love of landscape.

[JeanaMarie]

I think I've only just recently - this year anyway, fallen in love with photography. I think like so many other mums, I was desperate for a creative outlet, and even though my main love is textile art - quilting, weaving, etc, photography just fit more easily into a schedule with small children, for me. These days, the results are pretty instantaneous too, whereas it takes more time to create textiles - a luxury I don't always have, but I take photos of my girls anyway, so I figured I might as well learn how to use my camera! I still feel I have so much to learn - but I am really enjoying it. I live so far away from my family, I feel I am able share more of my family's life with them now I've been clicking more.

It's also such a fantastic way to document what is inspiring me, when I don't have time to pull out my sketchbook, or my sketchbook is stolen by my 3 yr old when its pulled out. grrrr.

This was a beautiful post - such a good thing to think about. Happy love Thursday!

http://unbecominglily.blogspot.com/2008/10/few-of-my-favourite-things.html

[maya]

i want to say thanks to shelli (http://web.me.com/pabis/Mama_of_Letters/Welcome.html) for her kind words about me. :)

as for me, i have always loved photos. i steal all the family photos i can whenever i get home. there's just something about the past, about capturing a moment in time ...

i bought a pentax k-1000 slr when i was in my early 20s for $100. i didn't learn very much. at some point, the battery died and i didn't replace it. i couldn't afford to develop all the film i shot. and when i did, i couldn't remember the settings i'd used anyway - and i'm certainly not together enough to take notes.

in 2007 i couldn't wait any longer. i'd been taking pictures of my daughter since she was born with my canon p&s. i did fine, but i really wanted a dslr. my hubby talked me into it ("think of the pictures you're missing!" what a great guy! :) and i've taught myself everything i know (which still isn't nearly enough!) from the internet. i think the internet was what i was missing the first time around - a bunch of free knowledge shared by ordinary people writing in a way i could understand and the ability to see and read about people in every part of the world taking wonderful photos, which validated my desire to take pictures of my small corner of the world.

having my camera gave me something i was missing - a real passion. i'd never had that before. now i think i'm kind of stuck. i haven't really been progressing and i need to find a way to shake it up. i have a few ideas, though ...

[spread your wings]

Thank you for this inspirational post.
Creativity is a wonderful thing and yes, we all have it in us somewhere. I amazed, daily, at the many incredibly talented women I have found here in the blogging community. I love it here.

http://autumnsun08.blogspot.com

[elizabeth]

beautiful post. I don't remember ever not loving photography - or when I got my first camera. I've taken photo after photo as long as I can remember. I remember taking entire rolls of film of waves against a single rock, and filling albums full of photos. And I still love it. All I need for pure bliss is my camera and my pup and/or the outdoors.

My dad loves photography, my best friend-sister loves it, and now my youngest sister loves it as well. I can see myself as I watch her and it's so neat.

[Marcy]

I've always loved taking pictures, capturing moments in time with people. But I've also always been shy about doing so, not wanting to "get in the way" to take photos. While pregnant last year my husband suggested buying a DSLR so I could take better photos of our soon-to-be-born son. A Canon 30D became our christmas gift to each other, and I've been snapping away since then, mostly of my son. I still let self-consciousness rob me of a good shot, and feel intimidated by the fact that so many people I know also have fancy cameras. But I'm working on that. Reading posts like this one help a lot.

[Miss Boule]

Woaw, I love your words... no extra sentence is needed...

My passion for photography came actually out of my frustration of not been able to draw everything that I had on my mind. The father of one of my best friend had this (inconscience...) crazy idea of lending me his Nikon material for one week. I was 16, I knew nothing and managed to break anything.

It took me 12 years to decide to start studies of photography and finally accept that I could live, at least partly, out of my creative work.

Since then, I try to take time to explain this passion to anyone who is interested in photography...

Thanks again for these wonderful words, and thanks to all the people here for sharing such wonderful experiences, it makes it more realistic to go on with creative dreams!

Anabelle
L'atelier de Miss Boule
http://www.missboule.com

[Naomi]

I remember taking photos from a very early age. When I was 11 or 12 years old, it was the start of summer and there was this amazing sunset at the back of our farm that I really wanted to remember. I grabbed (what must have been my mum's or my sister's) camera and away I clicked.

I have no idea where that photo is now, but I recall every single detail of it. All I wanted to do was capture those vibrant colours so that I'd never forget them. And even though I don't have the print anymore, that's exactly what happened.

[Kath]

Sometimes when I'm feeling badly as if there is something niggling in my mind telling me that things aren't quite right, I must acknowledge that feeling and really try hard to identify what the problem is. Once I acknowledge and try to identify, the solution presents itself and quite often the problem I thought I had was not the problem at all.

This is true on the other end of the spectrum as well. The gift of creativity, which I believe we all carry, needs to be acknowledged and identified in order to bring the artist in us to life.

[Secret Agent Mama / Mishelle Lane]

Just blogging and showing people my work again made me strive to get better. I've always taken pictures. Even did it in a portrait studio setting for quite a number of years, but I had left that creative side dormant for many years (along with writing).

My lovethursday post ( http://secretagentmama.com/blog/2008/10/16/love-thursday-12/ ) is a combo of what I think I do best these days: Click and Write!

[camerashymomma]

beautiful words jen. i love reading your posts. they read like a great book. it's even better knowing they come from real life :)

when i was a kid my brothers would always joke that i took pictures of stuff. ya know, the fan, the shoe, the teddy bear, the cat. later it was music, it was shoved down my throat with symphonies and classical training. it was all good but not me. i obliged like a dutiful child. but in the off hours i spent all my babysitting money on film and waiting for photographs to be developed. i was the 'documenter' of my group of friends, with thousands of full albums.

i was always the one walking behind, walking slowly, my brother calls it the 'photographers curse'... i moved from film when i could no longer afford it. not until last summer (2007) when i found my old clarinet tucked away in my closet. my professional instrument that took me to State, that albatross of an instrument that i had carried with me from age 18 dutifully to all the apartments and houses, cities and states that i had moved to and from over 15 years, did i realize what i could do. i was an adult, i could do this.

i sold my clarinet and it was reborn, reincarnated into my current Nikon.
it was the best thing i could have ever done for myself.
in that moment, all the doors and windows flew open and i felt life and knew there was no turning back.

i believe that everyone IS creative. it might be with words or photos or wires. it might be with engines or paint or mortar. everyone's hands can feel, it's just trying on all the right gloves to find the perfect fit.

[Katie in MA]

My post suddenly feel so shallow! I think I need to widen my focus just a wee bit to be worthy. Here's my itty bitty insignificant first-try Love Thursday post for today. Second-try to follow. (Hey, two-times the love today, right?)

http://cantgetthere.wordpress.com/2008/10/16/sometimes-love-chills-the-toes-but-warms-the-heart/

[o]

Jen, I love what you wrote. Your words really spoke to me and so do all the comments I'm reading here. --There are pictures that I take, things that I make, that I think are really good but I'm too afraid/shy/insecure to actually say/admit that I might be any good or that I'm creative or, dare I say it, an artist. I post photos of things hoping others will see the beauty that I see. When I get compliments I tend to mentally second-guess if they're just words to pacify me, like a pat on the head, or if they're really words of appreciation for my art. But then I think to myself that I must be an artist because I get urges that only creating things or taking that photograph of the amazing thing I am seeing at the time (as simple as it might be) can satisfy. With my children, I see that they're artists too so I try to make available whatever it is they need to release their creativity. (LOL...right now I'm hearing a conversation from the other room between my daughter and her friend about having "artist's block"). --If I haven't said it lately, I want to say thank you for Shutter Sisters. I feel safe here and have "met"/come across some very wonderful people through this site.

[Gypsy Alex]

What a timely post, Jen! Now I have to share my outburst with you here: http://www.gypsygirlsguide.com/2008/10/i_wanted_to_tell_you.html

[Jennie]

This. This post is when I started to believe. Thank you. =)

[maz]

This post made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. I needed to read it today... I need to read something like this every day! I wish someone had spoken to me like this 20 years ago when I was studying for a 'sensible' degree and trying to get a 'proper' job. All my adult life I have felt the frustration and sadness of an unfulfilled creative soul, until 2 years ago I gave up the therapy and bought a camera! The floodgates opened... paint, paper, words and pictures spilled out and formed a wonderful technicolour blanket around me making me feel more whole and safe than I ever have before. I try and remind myself that I don't have to be the best and my art doesn't have to be perfect, but still I have found all I never knew I really wanted. Thankyou...

[Laurel]

I was so touched by this post and the comments above. I felt discouraged to pursue any creative inclination growing up because it wasn't practical. Whether this was perceived or real who knows. I borrowed my Dad's Leica as a 12 year old and he helped me set up a darkroom. I think I was ultimately discouraged from a lack of feedback. I am someone for whom the digital age needed to come! I took several classes during the film era and could hear the $ going off everytime I shot a roll. The feedback wasn't immediate enough for me to learn something I felt. Buying a digital SLR was a dream for me and I have loved learning. I still don't feel like I am "good" but I am better than I was a year ago and that is encouraging. I'm not quite confident enough to go pro. But I'll take one dream at a time.