the practice of patience

Babies oblige, scrunching and burping and stretching and drooling, more or less lying there all chubby and delectable. Toddlers must be chased, cajoled, tickled, bribed, tricked. Adults require layers upon layers of self-awareness to be peeled back with a gentle hand.

A few days ago, Marco taught me a new lesson. He was too cool for me. And it changed everything.

We scrambled atop boulders and danced like crabs and dug for treasure and walked through the woods to a secret cabin perched on the edge of the sea. What made for shot after shot of his little brother and sister was contrived for him. UGH, he said to me, rolling his eyes in mock boredom, sticking out his tongue. I don't want to do that.

You... what? Oh. Okay. Harpy out.

Startled, I turned away for a while, focused instead on the toddler and the preschooler, pointed my lens at familiar and readily tameable beasts. All with my mind racing, and one eye trained on the conundrum that stood kicking rocks by himself, hugging his mother one moment and scowling good-naturedly the next.

Shooting Marco was the first time I've ever been so exquisitely attuned to patience. To stepping back, to letting him show me what kind of photo he wanted me to take--not the kind myself or his parents may have envisioned, but what is just right.

This is the age of the birth of a sense of self--delicate, tentative, antsy.

But looking straight at you, when he chooses to.

Comments

[Hay]

I think this is my fav SS post ever. Just beautiful, and perfect. And respectful.

[Lan]

i love this shot, it's so perfect.

http://whatiseeclicks.blogspot.com/2008/09/patientsunrise.html

[MAKNJ]

In know exactly what you mean. Recenly, all my phtos of my six year old son are of a wide open mouth, or a stuck out tongue, or hiding behind his hands.

You caught an amazing shot here.

[Alice C]

It is an outstanding shot and one that you must treasure. There may come a time when he chooses not to be photographed. My children went through a phase of acute self awareness when they regarded photography as an intrusion of privacy. I respected that.

[Marcie]

An absolutely wonderful image. You've captured his spirit,,,and I do love how you processed this.
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/index.php?showimage=521

[Rhiannon]

Gorgeous photo and a really good reminder to let our subjects choose how they want to reveal themselves to us as photographers.

[shelli]

Love it!

[Jen]

My 3 year old is already at this stage. I have to wait for her to allow me to take pictures now! Sometimes she will ask me to take a picture of her. Those are the times I drop everything I'm doing to snap up the opportunity. Here is one such opportunity:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jlynn28/2811709606/in/set-72157607023341460/

[Gayle]

What a beautiful photo. It feels so real and honest. This post is wonderful!

[littlepurplecow]

Beautiful shot.

[Secret Agent Mama / Mishelle Lane]

Having just celebrated an eighth birthday for my thirdborn, I so know this post. He is the one that is hard to photograph; that doesn't stop me, though!

http://secretagentmama.com/blog/2008/09/15/best-shot-monday-goodbye-seven-hello-eight/

[Jodyangel]

...I had to walk slowly down our road towards these birds. They were all lined up along the wire. I also wanted to practice shooting into the sun to capture sun flairs. I got close...aimed my camera and they Zoooomed into the air. I was pleased with the result...patience was worth it!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodyangel/2809097920/

[camerashymomma]

wow, it's perfect. the photo, the feel, all reflects the age, which i'm sure his parents will treasure so dearly. well done!

[Kacey]

Great, great photograph. Love the expression, love the conversion. Patience does pay off, doesn't it?

[ELK]

children do teach us lessons everyday and especially as they grow into their own person. It is an amazing journey and the photo featured is a beautiful reminder of that.

[mnkathy]

Wow. It's all.just.right. His momma is so lucky to have such a shot of her boy.

[Bet]

Great post today. This struck home for me. My Great-Niece who recently turned 7 has turned from the child who turned on the million dollar smile to a child with a scruntched up face, protruding tongue and off the wall expressions. I'll take your advice and just be patient until she shows me what photo I'm supposed to capture.

Have a great week!

[Kyla]

What an absolutely priceless photo! You've "captured" the essence of this boy at this particular moment in time. Love it!

[~Sheryl]

Wow, that is an amazing capture. It's perfect the way you framed it and post-processed it. I would be thrilled if I was his parent.

Nice job and thanks for sharing.

Patience indeed.

[motoko]

There is always something new to learn, if we let ourselves be open to something that will enrich us. How much more fun it is when it's a child that teaches us a lesson.

It's a fabulous photo, not that I'm biased because he's my nephew!

[jfrancis]

The age of pre-man
where distance is plan
and identity
rocks his world.

[Johanna]

Now we're talking. This is a very important thing that you write about. My son, 14, has been growing up with me mamarazz-ing around him and he has taught me a great deal of respect of one's privacy. Having been a decent student, I'm still allowed to shoot him which is one thing I love doing. But always always on his terms.

And I would never show his portrait in public without his permission.

Actually not with it either :) Privacy is good.

PS. Wonderful picture!

[MaNa]

You did a great job! I do have to say.....you had EXQUISITE subject matter to work with! I have found that if you indeed are patient with Marco....he has many, MANY cool things to share! I should know...I am his VERY proud Godmother!

[elianne]

he will celebrate his 9th birtday in a week.he is always so aware of the camera, so aware of himself. Wants to see the result.
The good thing is it can be a subject to talk about, how do you see your self?
The real boy photo:

http://zus.my-expressions.com/archives/10864_1427783206/306542

I will add the rest, he calls me when he goes to bed, afraid of shadows and his own imagination. The proces of growing up.

[Julie Alvarez]

I read the post late last night (the tima here is different) and there were no comments back then. I've been wanting to comment here since then but didn't get the time to upload the picture. Now it's done.
I loved your words! They are so true.
Here's mine: We planted these flower's seeds last year, and I have been waiting since then to see them bloom and grow, and to smell them, having them in vases, and of course... taking pictures of them.
Now I am flooding my stream with pictures of them (and they are only a few flowers!).
But here's the reward for the patience:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/2859806873/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/2859801587/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/2860614234/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/2860616412/in/photostream/

[jag]

I don't have children, nor am I around them too often. As someone who has trouble shooting anything that moves, I'm in awe of what I see here on Shutter Sisters!

When I need a reminder to practice patience, I look to nature as my Teacher. I created this today:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jagspace/2860182329/

xox

[Shannon Fiorello]

Thanks Kate for your patience and for your insight into my son. You captured him perfectly in picture and in print. When he's being a rascal (like today) I will return to your post to be reminded of the gift that patience can bring.

[maile]

wow, i've so been there with that in-between age group. But i never put my finger on it or was able to articulate what it feels like, the way you do here. This is absolutely beautiful. So true. To have the patience to wait for your subject to reveal themselves in THEIR time. love it. love the shot you got too.

[Roberta]

Sweet. This type of portrait is so much more interesting than the typical studio shot which leaves the model practically devoid of personality. I'm enjoying the discovery of your site!

[Jodi Renshaw]

Oh Kate ... how I love and admire thee ...

http://thishandmadelife.blogspot.com/2008/09/articulation-and-art-of-well-written.html

Love,
Jodi

[sweetsalty kate]

Thank you so much, everyone - and Marco's mummy and aunt and godmother and grammy who were so kind as to pipe up here. It was such a fun day, and a lesson to boot! :)