just say yes

As women I think we are perpetually over-extended. We spread ourselves too thin. We don't always make time for ourselves. We are busy taking care of other people's needs and putting theirs far above our own. In attempts to balance this issue we have learned to say "No" more often. No, to another project. No to one more commitment. No to burning our candles at both ends. No can be a wonderful word to use in the name of self preservation. I won't deny it.

But the other day it struck me how much I say no to things just for the sake of saying no. Out of being tired. Being leary or even fearful. I say no out of habit. In response to this realization I have started saying yes again. Yes to my kids when they want to paint, or cook or play in the leaves. Yes to projects I know I will enjoy. Yes to creativity and play and being present in ways I often am not.

The other night I marveled at my daughter as she submersed herself in a yes I gave her. Yes, you may paint with real paints on a real canvas. She was beyond engaged for over an hour. Mixing her own colors, Have you ever seen a color more beautiful than this mom?...Using the brush like a master, I could paint like this for my whole life mom...Beaming with pride over her work of art, I can't believe how much I love this painting! That hour was one of the best hours I can remember spending with my daughter. All because I said yes.

The power of yes can be magic when you let it be.

What have you said yes to recently? Anything that in particular that made your heart happy? That made your creative spirit soar? Share you success-yes stories!

Comments

[kosenrufu mama]

wonderful post!!! i said yes my daughter, yes you can use my pottery, all afternoon long playing with pottery, cooking tea for her dools, in the garden http://esterdaphne.blogspot.com/2009/10/riciclo.html

[kristal]

I have definitely gotten much better about saying NO to the things that I needed to to have more balance in my life and YES to the things that bring more PRESENCE and CREATIVITY. In turn, both of my daughters (8 & 11) are using their creativity much more. Great post...and a great memory that your daughter will always have. Love that!

[Bonnie]

This post reminds me of when my children were young and always coming to me with can I do this, can I do that. It got so that my first reaction was to say no because of the relentlessness of the requests. And the pestering drove me crazy. But then I felt awful that I was always telling them no. So I got an idea that when the demands became too heavy I would tell them that if they had to know the answer right this minute then the answer was no but if they would back off and give me a few minutes to think about it without pestering it might be yes. The yes answer became more frequent and it rewarded all of us and allowed me to be more relaxed and REALLY think about the request instead of just "reacting".

[elk]

tracey this brought tears to my eyes...the image and words with it are so true...and a common issue with women, I agree...you are a good mom....it is not an easy job.


I have said YES to simple things ...music...green...a paper bird....
<a href="http://redorgrayart.blogspot.com/2009/10/blog-post_30.html"

[Beryl]

Yesterday I said "yes" you do have time to talk a walk with your camera. Yep, this week has been so busy I even had to say no to photography. The photo was taken in a moment of inspiration and I love the outcome. What I was able to create brought sunshine to an otherwise gloomy week.

http://bellarose-photography.com/?p=191

[georgia]

i said yes to a friend when she asked me to take pictures of her daughter {and her}. i might have said no out of fear of failure. i almost said no out of lack of time. but then i remembered how the opportunity that presented itself was an opportunity that i had been hoping for for quite some time--the chance to practice taking pictures of little kids, since i don't have kids of my own.

she approached me just days after i had been wishing for this chance. i knew i better not pass this window by, so i drove a long way on a sunday and spent the entire day {and believe me, weekend time is precious to me and i had many "chores" waiting for me at home}. but i was THRILLED to do it, and i'm so glad i said yes to her and yes to myself.
http://itsjusthowiseethings.blogspot.com/2009/10/little-storybook-girl.html
http://itsjusthowiseethings.blogspot.com/2009/10/she-hearts-hot-chocolate-like-her-mom.html
http://itsjusthowiseethings.blogspot.com/2009/10/two-prettiest-girls-this-side-of.html

great post as always, tracey.

{as a side note, i think it's wonderful that your daughter has found an artistic passion so early. to hear those words uttered from a child must have made your heart swell.}

[lifeineden]

This is SO true. I find myself saying NO to the silliest things to my oldest, just because I've gotten stuck saying no. Imagine, no to something like "can I have a drink", but I've done it! It is funny how the pendulum swings back and forth on this one.

Yesterday I said yes -- yes you can take pictures of the baby even though he has a snotty nose, and is sitting in his ugly high chair. Yes it is okay if this picture isn't perfectly beautiful, because he is. (Sadly I haven't had time to download them, but they were actually pretty sweet).

[Marlena]

It is nature's policy to fill all voids.
"No" clears space for "Yes".
Perfect.

[renee @ FIMBY]

Yes to the autumn woods:
http://fimby.tougas.net/Wolfes-Neck-Woods-State-Park-October

Yes to playing in the leaves:
http://fimby.tougas.net/enjoying-fall-leaves

This is a good reminder for me. I say no a lot, to protect myself. But I want to say yes more often to my children's simple requests.

[Julia Spencer]

Wow... brought tears to my eyes. I love when my daughter creates too. It is like magic, her soul comes alive and shines through.

[Jennifer]

A fabulous post and thoughtfully taken shot! It hits home with me, because I have come to this same realization this past week. So every day when we get home from school at night, I throw down the stuff, resist the urge to do all the house stuff, and we play or draw or talk for at least an hour. It's made our day so much more enjoyable to focus on how we can create instead of discipline.

[Anna]

What a wonderful post. My favorite time to say 'yes' when my son is expecting a 'no' is when he asks if he can splash in puddles or play in the rain, without a raincoat. Those times when he gets all soaking wet are some of his most fun times because they are away from the norm and none of his friends are allowed to do it.

[Stacy]

My son has been poring over a Halloween kid crafting book I had as a little girl. I remember wanting to make all them when I was a little girl, too. I told him we will do them on Saturday and even bought the supplies I needed this week so we are ready. I know it will be messy and time consuming and I'll end up doing most of it, but it will be time well spent to make a little boy happy. :)

[natalyn]

This is a wonderful post. I said yes to my three year-old and 21 month-old using the really good coloring pencils on the really good paper. It was amazing to watch them take it so seriously and love it so much! I've also been saying yes to my twelve year-old using my guitar as much as he wants. Now he's pretty much glued to it, and he has gotten so good!

http://nattysfamily.blogspot.com

[bostongaljm]

Saying yes, it is such a difficult thing to do sometimes. This post is great reminder!

I usually avoid Halloween as it reminds me of my grandmother Jake's passing. Her funeral was on Halloween when I was 14 and all I remember is the great sadness of my extended family, my mother, and turning out all the lights instead of welcoming trick-or-treaters. A very sad time.

But this year, I am saying yes to Halloween. I am finally ready to reclaim the holiday for myself so I am dressing up in full regalia as a Greek Goddess, complete with dark brunette wig, gold accessories, bronzer and a white dress with gold accents. I hope it comes out as I think it will and that this Halloween will be the one I remember from now on. Yes!

[Trude]

I said yes to transporting a foster dog to a fundraising/adoption event for a local rescue organization. I've been meaning to for a while and I just had to say yes this time! Fingers crossed that she finds her new owners this Sunday! And you know I'll be taking photos the whole time. :)

[rachael]

this is so beautiful. those moments are so precious. i bet your daughter will always remember that you said yes to her creative hopes and joys.

i'm saying yes to my very own creative hopes, these days. it's a long journey. i've been writing about it at http://rachmadlove.blogspot.com. mostly, i'm saying yes to vulnerability. this video says it all: http://rachmadlove.blogspot.com/2009/10/vulnerable-is-beautiful.html

thank you so much for sharing.

[Deborah]

This reminds me of Jim Carey's movie, "Yes Man." It's a funny movie with a great message. You should watch.

[erika]

I said "yes" when asked to create a Halloween costume that I knew would add stress to my already stressful week. I wasn't sure if he'd even want to be that character come Trick-or-Treat night, but I thought I'd try. It doesn't look it in the photo, but he loved it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/22634402@N02/4057758973/

I say "yes" to couch jumping. What's it really going to hurt? Ask me again when I have to visit an ER.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/22634402@N02/4023420493/

[katherine center]

Mmmph! Tracey, you are bringing tears to my eyes. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

[Eileen]

Thank you for this reminder!

My 12 year old son and I went to the beach a few weeks ago and didn't get there until after 10 pm.
It was a beautiful fall night and he asked if we could go look at the ocean.
He expected a no, and the look on his face when I said yes was unforgettable.

We sat looking at the crazy waves, beautiful moon in an amazing silence...my favorite night so far this year.

[Jodi]

Thanks for the lovely "YES" reminder. Isn't it wonderful watching your daugher create?

[Jade Sheldon]

I said "yes" to pursuing my dreams. I no longer am going to let fear deter me...

[Brené]

This is so beautiful! Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Samantha]

I am learning to say yes to mess. And here are the muddy photos to prove it.

http://laughlovecreate.wordpress.com/2009/09/29/the-journey-called-motherhood/

[Kirsten]

I love that post so much...I vow to say "yes" more!!! thanks T!

xo
k

[Nancy New]

Just a little note to say that even OUR mothers ( I am 61 and my mom is 80 ) ask for things sometimes, often knowing we are sooo busy with our own lives. Just today I asked my mom to go shopping...she knew I was busy, traveling so much, and asked very quietly if I had a little extra time. I said "yes yes yes" and let her take her time in the store.. It felt nice.

[Julie Alvarez]

I started sarted saying YES to little girl choosing her outfit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliealvarez/4052164310/

[Michelle Shopped]

i was a yes mama, "scolded" by some parents for being so -- but i just never could get the hang of saying no just for the sake of saying no -- when i tried it, it went against my gut...so i will say yes today to listening to the wisdom of my soul...yes, it has such a lovely ring to it, doesn't it?

[texassky]

http://rainy-n-texas.blogspot.com/2009/10/home-in-rainy-daze.html

My daughter is in preschool this year. She is not too keen on getting up early 5 days a week to haul off to a more structured classroom. She wasn't feeling so well...it was a mild tummy ache. I said yes. We stayed home...and slept. She was better the very next day!!