Searching for Hope--Raw and Real

Around this time every year, something in my brain flicks a switch.  Just like the bud of a newly forming leaf is triggered by enrivonmental and genetic cues, these same signals and accompanying consequences--the emergence from winter darkness, spring rains, blossoms shooting up overnight, the cheerful chatter and melodies of songbirds--rouse in my subconscious an homage to and remembrance of one of the most significant experiences of my life.

Seven years ago, almost to the day, I received news that my father was dying of inoperable pancreatic cancer.  One month later, the day after his 64th birthday, he was gone.  During those short final weeks of my dad's life, I developed an intimate relationship with my then-new digital camera.  Perhaps it was the shock of imminent loss that opened my eyes in a new way and motivated me to search for the hope I so desperately needed wherever I went. 

It was during this time that I developed a deep and abiding love for wandering the streets of my city, camera in hand.  Much of what caught my eye back then wouldn't be considered beautiful in the conventional sense of the word.  In fact, I found myself often drawn to the weathered, beat-up and forgotten images that most people would rush by without a second thought (or even a first).  Maybe it was because I was feeling somewhat weathered and beat-up and forgotten myself that I was trying to comfort my soon-to-be-crushed inner daddy's girl by gathering up these overlooked mementos and treasuring them, savoring the moment in which I found them.  It was as if I needed to know that I could find light in the midst of darkness and decay and even death, because if I could, then I would be able to find hope no matter how dreary the circumstances.

I find it quite timely that now, when my thoughts and emotions are conjuring up the memories and feelings from that month of watching my father succumb to cancer, our Shutter Sisters have embarked on this voyage to Picture Hope.  I am thrilled because I know the power of images to stir our hearts and minds and to plant hope in the midst of dispair.  I think Stacey Monk said it quite eloquently in her comment, "Hope is the most beautiful direction in which a lens can be pointed."

Will you share with us today your images of the weathered, beat-up and forgotten that nevertheless convey to you a hope and beauty that's raw and real?  It would mean ever so much to me...

Comments

[Elizabeth Harper]

What a marvelous post today and a great source of inspiration for me...thank you!

I've posted what remains "raw and real" for me over at my space...

http://giftsofthejourney.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/resurrection-sunday-ghosts/

[Brene]

Beautiful post. Thank you.

[Puna]

When I read your request about weathered hope. I thought of the woman who married my husband and me 17 years ago.

http://lifesignatures.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/weathered-hope/

[beth]

raw and real....broken and forgotten....hope lived here once and when I see these places they bring me hope that lives can change and things can get better.
beth
www.moredoors.blogspot.com

and here's my picture for today......
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29291473@N04/3414595762/

[Leah]

This is a scan, so it's a bit blurry, but it's one of the most beautiful things in one of the least beautiful places I've ever captured.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lakeline/36678202/

[shan]

Beautiful post.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/99766742@N00/3365511725/

I love that light doesn't leave with the furniture!

[Mrs. E]

When our town was wiped out by a tornado last summer, my school and church were destroyed. This image come from our church. This used to stand right behind the altar with limestone and stained glass behind it. In piles of debris (60% of our town was gone, several injuries, one death)--this gave hope.

http://erickfam.blogspot.com/2009/04/palm-sunday.html

[Kelly]

This post brought tears to my eyes. That kind of pain just doesn't go away - thank you for sharing your heart.

old and weathered that still stands: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8702729@N02/3335482787/
red like blood, peeling away into bright warm hope: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8702729@N02/3304079426/

[Tracie]

I am drawn to weathered and neglected houses filled with old memories and dreams--and sometimes treasures. I always see hope in them.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/morning-tea/3366210247/

http://www.mywildacres.com/fieldjournal/?p=836

http://www.mywildacres.com/fieldjournal/?p=1004

[littlepurplecow]

Sarah, such beautiful and heartfelt words you've shared today. Seeking and nurturing hope is so challenging when it's connected to loss. I felt that when my mother passed away seven years ago. Hope can be elusive, but it's there if you choose to find in.

http://www.littlepurplecowphotography.com/moment_of_the_day/2009/3/11/insignificance.html

[Marcie]

What a beautiful..poignant..powerful post. Here is an image of mine that somehow speaks to hope and earth's power to regenerate and renew:
http://marciescudderphotography.com/index.php?showimage=733

[Mariella]

Such a lovely post, Sarah. Thank you. xoxo, ~ M.

[jody]

I just saw this am that the mother of one of my best friends of over 25yrs has been diagnosed with
liver ca. And that she's coming home to hospice. So sad; but she will find relief in hospice. They're a
wonderful organization.
Loss is so hard, even when we know it's best. It's posts like this that make you think...

Here is an image that reminds me of something that was once so beautiful..
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodyangel/3407635045/

Sarah never forget. Thinking about him keeps him alive in a sense. Hugs girl...keep talking!

[Toni | Daily Vignette]

Such a beautifully written and emotive post, Sarah. It brought tears to my eyes this Sunday morning.

http://dailyvignette.com/2009/02/22/oldie-but-a-goodie/

[jag]

What a beautiful, honest post... I never associated my attraction to the weathered & beaten with Hope, and I really like this connection. Thank you! Here are a few shots from a church that's been abandoned for over 50 years. I have spent much contemplative time here, pointing my hope-filled lens...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jagspace/3414807068/in/set-72157610159243695/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jagspace/3061921641/in/set-72157610159243695/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jagspace/2608703077/in/set-72157610159243695/

xox

[shelli]

What a beautiful post. I wasn't sure I had a photo that would be appropriate today, but maybe this one will be. It's of an infant grave from the past. And my two-year-old happened to step into the photo too. I think of those mothers who lost their children, and surely they had hope for a better future....a future in which children didn't die so easily. And here we are, living in an age of technical and medical know-how where that hope came alive.

http://www.mamaofletters.com/Site/The_Focal_Point/Entries/2009/3/31_Infant_Grave.html

[sharon]

I was feeling bad that I couldn't just go off and look for things to photograph. Then, I looked at my boys...

http://sharonlinnefaulk.com/photo/archives/1688

[Alicia]

an accident. but i love it.

http://aliandsethinthecity.blogspot.com/2009/03/accidental-photo.html

[kaytee]

http://missredphotos.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-lies-at-top-of-staircases.html

[Tracey Clark]

wow sarah. i am deeply moved by your post. thank you for your courage.
you've really got my soul stirring...
http://traceyclark.squarespace.com/blog/2009/4/5/a-second-look.html

[camerashymomma]

weathered and peeling paint, painted over, missing boards, discovered on the east side of town. a glimmer of hope for me, for you, a glimmer of love for all of us.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/camerashymomma/3279225749/

[Gayle]

This is a very touching post. It really is amazing to me how much emotion images can stir up. Here is one of my hopes for spring:

http://planetmfiles.com/2009/04/05/weathered-beaten-up-but-not-forgotten/

[ELK]

been down that road of loss ~ thank you for sharing Sarah

here is the image that I share:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sammymom/3400068760/

[Sue Henry]

“Reality seems valueless by comparison with the dreams of fevered imaginations; reality is therefore abandoned.” ~Emile Durkheim

http://suehenryphotography.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/abandoned/

[sparrow52]

A beautiful post.

Here's the picture I'd like to share:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparrow_5_2/3365045597

[Rachel]

Such a wonderful, poignant post. It took me right back to the month before my mom died. I didn't have photography in my life then, but I understand so clearly now what it would have meant if I had. I hope this image doesn't seem too corny, but the hope I felt when I took it is real.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rachelpasch/3383230823/

[melody is slurping life]

Thinking of you. Hoping you're smiling.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/melsphotophun/3414879607/

[Tracy]

Lovely photo and post, Sarah. So touching. Here's a photo I just took in the very weathered New Orleans, http://www.flickr.com/photos/31417716@N00/3416445212/.

[Candy Brewer]

This went right along with my latest shooting assignment in my current photo class, so I had to share my finds. Wonderful blog post - everything you said is SO TRUE!

http://eyecandyphotog.blogspot.com/2009/04/hope-springs-forth-in-midst-of-ruins.html

[Bren / BG Garden]

I was truly touched by your entry about your father and being able to go on. I too lost my father a few years back and I wanted to share with you the first photo I took months after his death - when I thought I couldn't go on. Something about the sun hitting the beautiful yellow flowers that were outside my kitchen door.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bg_garden/3416693526/in/set-72157616313228461/

I will cherish that photo forever.

[spread your wings]

very moving post

deep emotion was not in my mind when i took this photo but i loved the color of these shutters - despite the neglect, beauty is there.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/autumnsun/3415937065/in/set-72157616314170463/

[kristin]

wow how powerful and raw and real. so happy that you had those walks and were able, even if forced, to find the beauty you so needed to see and feel. peace to you.

this shot was taken on a day last november when i heard of the sudden unexpected death of a dear friend. he was only 44. i live too far away to go to any memorial. i was very sad. i took a walk on the beach. it is empty in winter. cold bleary at times, boards on everything, worn by winter winds, i looked up and captured this. it was what i needed. i felt hope in the sight of this pigeon in flight from the abandoned pier.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/14811117@N02/3045827917/in/set-72157608160457239/

[Bridge]

This hopeful face that greets me in the morning each day. Reminds me to never stop the optimism.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ridethewavesoflife/2313207187/

[NotAnna]

I am compelled to admit I have trouble seeing hope directly in the worn down-and-out. For me, the value in really seeing the old/battered/lonely is the stark contrast they create against things that are fresh. Or, more keenly, things that are tended by some hopeful caretaker who, despite his or her knowledge that all things, well, go the way of all things, pours time and love into another temporary bit of life.

So here's a little such contrast that called to me once: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31866449@N04/2983118544/in/set-72157608459958942/

[Kari]

This doorway obviously isn't being tended to anymore, but the color is still beautiful and the vine finds life there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10811746@N05/2823668164/in/set-72157603939348314/

[CarrieJ]

finally got a moment to post my response :)
I find hope in the way that nature will thrive, even in the most inhospitable conditions.
http://thejaxon4.blogspot.com/2009/04/195-hope-springs-eternal.html

[kristin]

oh i remembered 1 more. old barrels found in an alley on a photo walk. "positive energy" http://www.flickr.com/photos/14811117@N02/2808370827/in/photostream/

[kosenrufu mama]

here...
http://esterdaphne.blogspot.com/2009/02/colore.html

[June]

A wonderful reminder to be ever-so mindful.

I don't know what I love more, the corroded chain-link fence or the beautiful turquoise water:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/junedel/2948272336/

We pass by this old thing each day:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/junedel/3030687807/

[Rachel Parton]

The house I grew up in was built the year before the Civil War. My grandpa bought it when my dad was 2 years old, and my dad bought it from him when I was in utero.

The house has seen a lot of wear & tear over the years - here is the dining room while it was being remodeled.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/partonponderings/2987624759/

[Lori D]

Hope is all I am able to hold onto at times. I was moved by your photo and story. Thank you! Here is my own photo that symbolizes this transcendant hope:

http://photorevival.blogspot.com/2009/02/transcendant-hope-of-sleeping-sun.html

[cara]

I've always been fascinated by old barns:

http://caramoulds.com/index.php?showimage=60

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