support

Every now and then, I get to meet with a very good friend for lunch.  We talk a mile a minute because our time is limited and we are desperate to get caught up on what has happened since our last meeting.  On one such occasion, minutes before we parted, I said to her, “You know, it really bothers me when people tell me how lucky I am.  I find it to be a backhanded compliment.”

It’s not that I don’t believe in luck.  Maybe it’s better to say that when something unexpected and totally awesome occurs, I will acknowledge how fortunate it is to have happened.  Whether it is an act of God, Karma, a guardian angel, or a little fairy following me around with some pixie dust, I will give thanks for my blessings.  But that isn’t what I was referring to when I made that statement to her.  I was referring to the fact that I have worked hard to get where I am today and it shouldn’t be written off as luck; rather setting and visualize goals and working hard to achieve them.

Perhaps the biggest part of that statement that bothers me is the implication that my life has been nothing but rainbows and butterflies.  My life has been filled with ups and downs just like the next guy but I don’t complain about it or wish that it was any other way.  It is important to maintain a balance, be honest about where you are on your own personal roller coaster (down or up, it doesn’t matter. It’s your ride, after all), and try to use the force of the current to your advantage instead of fighting against it.  Above all else, it is essential to create and maintain a support system that will guide you through both highs and lows.

Like any other precautionary measure or defense system that is put into place, your support won’t be tested until it is put under pressure.  When you are facing one of life’s challenges - depression, sadness, loss, stress, etc. - you will find that some of your support falters.  That’s ok.  You will find that some things that you didn’t even know you had will rise up to the challenge.  Your camera, bumping into a friend that you hadn’t seen in years, your companion/husband/wife/lover, a volunteer in your garden, repetition in your knitting, the warmth of your tea (or coffee - you know who you are), sleep at the end of the day, a stranger smiling at you in passing – something or someone will be there for you if you have a support system in place and you are open to the guidance around you.

I hope you will join me in supporting those who need a little love, happiness, understanding, encouragement, and hope over at You Are Not Alone.  The site is still very young, but along with the group pool on Flickr, there will be plenty of chances to contribute if you are interested.  Though designed specifically with those suffering from Post Pardum Depression in mind, anyone is welcome.  Just think, you could turn someone’s day around!  And if you are the one in need, be sure to check the blog and group pool often for your Daily Dose of support.

Image and words courtesy of Meg Fahrenbach aka the delicious Tea & Brie.

Comments

[Joy]

This is a very sweet and significant post.It reminded me of an idea a friend shared with me (I'm sorry I don't have the original source): Be kind, you don't know what someone is going through today. In addition, I have a friend that I sometimes feel resentment for because of how she treats me, but your thoughts have encouraged me to continue being supportive and not give in to feeling slighted. Thank you!

[Laurie]

Meg this is a wonderful post and it completely resonates with me. I've always believed in having a balance and never underestimating where some guidance or as you say support can come from as long as your open to it. I also like to take a look around me when the times are tough, as they are right now for me and really see what I do have and not whatI don't have or what I could lose. It's about taking a moment and really appreciating something, even if it's just that the bill collectors haven't called today..

Thank you again for this post.. it is just the support I needed to have today.

Laurie

[Janet Kelley]

I LOVE your blog; this one today is especially thoughtful. Your photos are very beautiful and thought provoking. I'm so glad I stumbled across this!

[Meg]

Thank you for your comments! This is exactly why I want to do it - it is incredible to think that even on our down days we can bring something positive to another! xoxo

[Shawna]

So true. I'm down on my rollercoaster right now, which is a struggle for me because I do know just how blessed I am to have a healthy, happy family that keeps me on my feet. (in that respect, i would say i'm lucky - those are things i have little control over.) i'm so glad you created this site to get us all through on the down days, the collector days, the quit my job, brakes went out in the car, got a second case of chicken pox and now i get to watch bella go through it too days. :O)

when i'm in the wrong mindset, i get out my camera and find ten things i'm savoring at that moment. this is like having a hundred of those every day from different perspectives.

[Jade Sheldon]

You are AMAZING.

[Robin]

I especially appreciate your comment that hard work is responsible for people getting where they are. I never feel lucky, although I often feel blessed. Without my God given abilities I could never have been as successful as I am. Some people "look" for luck! Seth Godin's Resources Blog touched on a similar subject. Today's post, in its entirety, is:

Waiting for inspiration is another way of saying that you’re stalling. You don’t wait for inspiration, you command it to appear.”— Seth Godin

I'll take it one step farther - if you're waiting for luck rather then doing all in your power to reach your goals (or if you simply have no goals), you are lazy! And those who don't have the courage or ambition to work toward their goals are the first to knock down those who have succeeded or to attribute their success to luck. For those of you that believe in the Bible, insight into God's feelings about luck is found at Isaiah 65:11, 12 where it tells us, "those setting in order a table for the god of Good Luck and those filling up mixed wine for the god of Destiny" will be destined to the sword "and you will all of you bow down being slaughtered ...". In other words, if we depend on luck we are serving a pagan god. So we should have a modicum if righteous indignation when someone attributes our success to luck.

[Tracy]

Love this photos and what a wonderful post, so many great nuggets of wisdom, so much I can relate to right now! I love "use the force of the current to your advantage" and the acknowledgment of all of the various things that can make up for a breach in your support system. I have found this to be true.

So glad you created the Flickr group. I'll be sure to post more inspirational photos (when I manage to create them). Keep on keepin' on. You're great!

[georgia]

well said, meg.

i'm so glad i happened upon you are not alone. it truly is help to know there are others out there who have difficult days too. not feeling alone and encouraging others who are struggling are two of the best ways to combat our own struggles. i truly believe that. that is why i applaud your blog and the way you encourage others to participate.

and i like what you said about "a stranger smiling at you in passing". that is what your blog posts are. smiles from one stranger to another as they happen to pass by your space in the blogosphere.

i wish it great success, if success for it means helping others.

[Kellee]

I love this. I feel like a rollercoaster half the time these days, and I don't trust my support. My knitting, though, comfort there.

[Kylie]

Meg. You are amazing. xo

[kristin]

beautiful what you are doing.
honoring all parts of motherhood.
and we all know not all parts are pretty.
but they are human.
and we need to celebrate our humanity and oneness.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14811117@N02/4324675935/in/photostream/