you in the picture
Monday, November 29, 2010 by Guest Shutter Sister 
In the last three years, I've taken over 200,000 photos. Most of these are pictures of my family. My kids, my husband, parents, etc. I just went back and looked at all of them. Guess how many of these photos have me in them?
Eleven.
I am not making this up. Out of the hundreds of thousands of photos we have of our family from the last three years, my face is in eleven of them. Eleven.
I hate having my picture taken. Since I am the official family photographer, I rarely ever face having to be in the pictures myself. On the rare occasions when someone asks me to get in the photo, I always respectfully refuse to do it. I am quiet about it but also firm. This is how I've successfully managed to avoid being in most of them.
I've learned that many photographers are like me; they prefer to stay behind the camera. For me, the biggest reason is that I have a hard time seeing myself in a picture. When I look at a photo, all I can see is the bulges of fat or the imperfections in my features. I see the blemishes on my face. My too-big nose. My belly. My sunken eyes. Bushy eyebrows. I can go on and on. I don't see the happy mom or the loving wife, I just see a flawed human being.
I don't know how much of this is common across all people and how much of it my low self-esteem but here's what I do know: I need to get over it.
I need to get into the picture more often.
There are many reasons why it's important to take the time and effort to be in more of our photographs. This list might be different for each person but here are some of my reasons:
Posterity
I lost my grandmother last February. One of the first things I did after she passed away was collect all the photos of her I could find. I wanted pictures from all throughout her life from childhood to old age. Those photos were the faces of all my memories of her. They are what brought my thoughts to life and I held them close for a long time. They allowed me to mourn and remember all at the same time. I don't think it's fair to deny that to my children or loved ones. I can't imagine a world where I didn't have any photos of my grandmother. Photos are one of the most significant ways we're remembered. People don't look at how big your nose was,; they're just so happy to have anything of you left to them. So I remind myself that even if I don't want to do it for myself, I owe it to my kids, to my husband, and other people who love me.
Therapy
While it has tangible benefits to others, I think having my picture taken more often is also going to be beneficial to me. Repetition has numbing power. If I just get in the photos all the time no matter how dressed up I might or might not be, I think I will stop seeing all the details of myself in each photo. It will just become the norm that I am in pictures and I will start looking at it the way I look at the other people in the picture. Seeing myself again and again, hugging the people I love, smiling, and being happy is bound to have a positive effect on me eventually. And even if it doesn't, it means I will have hundreds of proofs of my joyful life.
Education
Because I get my photo taken so rarely, I have never experimented with different angles or looks. I don't know if I have a good side. I don't know if it's better for me to lean on one foot or lean forward. I don't know if I should smile with an open mouth or a closed one. Many of these things might seem silly to think about but a lot of being photogenic is about knowing the small details about yourself. Even the most beautiful person can look terrible if the picture is taken from the wrong point of view. So having more photos of myself will give me exposure and opportunity to learn.
Empathy
I take pictures of people all the time. I do professional shoots of families. I take photos of my kids, my husband, my parents and even strangers. I guarantee you that most of these people feel the discomfort of being in front of the lens. As a photographer who never has her own picture taken, it's easy for me to forget how uncomfortable it feels to be in front of the camera. And since I do this as a profession, I think it's important for me to remember that delicate feeling. It will make me a better photographer.
Because of these reasons, and more, I decided that 2011 will be the year when I get in the picture more often. I will create opportunities to make sure it happens. Each month, I will set up our tripod so we can get a full-family shot. I will hand over the camera to my husband. I will learn the intricacies of the self timer and find the best spots to use it in my house. I will experiment with angles and creative shots. I will take enough photos of myself that I can see myself as just another person in the photo. I will do this for myself and for my children. And I won't wait until January.
The holidays are the best time to start such a project because there's a lot of joy and festivity. Also because most people have visitors during the holidays so there are more people to hand over the camera to and more reasons to capture each moment. So, if any of you are like me and tend to avoid being in the picture, I challenge you to get in the photo more this holiday season. Just let go of your worries and embrace the opportunity. Hand over that camera and hug your loved ones. Put on a big smile and say cheese. I am confident you will not regret it.
In the meantime, I would love for you to share the last time you were in front of the lens. If you can't find one, how about you take a photo right now and share it with us?
Image and words courtesy of Guest Blogger / Honorary Sister Karen Grunberg of Karenika.
Reader Comments (69)
Important message. Thanks for resurrecting this ToDo for me. Short of finding a local shuttersister to photograph me and well getting my daughter a "real" camera for Christmas, it's up to me. BTW I love this photo of you complete with the wide eyed surprise in your babies eyes. Those wide eyes seem to say "what? mommy's in the photo?"
http://jenniferblaauw.com/2010/01/self-portrait-1.html
my favorites are always the blurry ones. wonder why?
http://spreadingwings08.blogspot.com/2010/11/sunny-hours-another-year.html
your portrait is lovely.
Lately all I've felt were the 20+ extra pounds I'm carting around the the "adult acne" all over my face and neck... I took one picture with my best friend on her 30th birthday, then promptly deleted it...
So one afternoon last week, I was bored and figured if I piled on the makeup, no one would notice my acne. What resulted was a really fun self photo shoot.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14632491@N07/5200536542/
Okay, I too will step out, hand over the camera. Play with self timer. and release my fear of being imperfect in images. It is the time.
thanks shuttter sister(s)!
And even though I do the exact same thing about picking out all my flaws, I was still completely shocked to read your list of imperfections. I see a beautiful face, with features that are well balanced. You saw sunken eyes with bushy eyebrows. I saw big, warm, intelligent eyes beautifully framed by your lovely dark brows. I thought you looked fabulous in the photo and envied you your photogenity! It made me sad that you didn't see that .... sad for you, and sad for me, as I am just as hard on myself.
Here's to feeling different about images of ourselves over the next year :o)
I just realized this not too long ago and am trying to make an effort to be photographed....not going so well. We have our second (or first official) family photo shoot coming this weekend. My kids are 8 & 6.....this will be the second family "togetherness" photo session.
I think it would be fun to learn some self-timer tricks and tips for us to pop in with our families and have fun with it. I wish I had a cordless remote too.
Thanks for sharing this. I recently started working with people with Alzheimer's Disease and have older grandparents.....memories, not just for us, but for our kids and families are important to have (photos of us).
:)
I'm just going to go ahead and give you a view of a very dorky picture of myself to inspire you to let those inhibitions go. http://www.flickr.com/photos/31417716@N00/5222261197/
and by the way, i think you look beautiful in your photo, tender and happy.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14811117@N02/sets/72157619934683844/
Photographers look for the beauty in the world, in amazing feats and in ordinary moments, on wonderful days and on awful days. It's in the muddy puddles, in the weeds on your lawn, in the falling-down barns, in the graffiti on train cars...
Does it make sense that we would've been left out - when everything else has beauty?
Please get in the picture - whether that means taking self portraits or handing your camera to a family member or stranger. Like any other kind of photography, the more pictures you have (of yourself), the more likely it is that you'll find some that you like.
When I was growing up my mom was always very vocal about not getting her picture taken. She hated it & was very critical of the few photos she did end up in. I never understood what she was talking about ~ to me she was my beautiful mom, perfect just the way she is.
Now as a mom, I found myself doing & saying the same thing. For some reason last September I decided I wanted to be in more photos. Going through all of our photos I was in very very few. I still struggle with being comfortable on the other side of the lens, but I am slowing getting over it. I am also learning how to pose to minimize the flaws that drive me nuts :)
I also don't want to teach my girls to have the same negative self image. They get enough of that from society. I can do my own little bit to offset all that. To them I am their beautiful mommy ~ I have to work really hard to remember that.
I just posted this photo taken of me yesterday. Truly I look horrid (I'm sleeping & the angle is BAD), but I am doing something that I cherish & won't be able to do much longer. So not only did I not delete it, I put it on the internet. :)
I also made myself hand over the camera to get a photo of me with one of my good friends.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
http://imhangingwithmypeeps.blogspot.com/2010/12/december-2nd-snapshots-of-life.html
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