balance

In my family, I fill a number of roles.  They include, in no particular order, the role of primary caregiver, wife, mother, friend, housekeeper, bookkeeper, librarian, storyteller, nurse, educator, cheerleader, and comedian. I have to put on my pants and fill the role of democrat, republican, and independent.  I am a chef, artist,  singer/songwriter, engineer, seamstress, stylist, decorator, journalist…

The list goes on.

Finding a balance between all of these roles may be one of the biggest challenges in my life, aside from trying how to fix a hole in the soft organza fabric that details the 15 princess dresses that are taking over my dining room table.  Not to mention trying to figure out how to get my 3 year old to eat.  Or sleep.  Or stop screaming all the time, especially when the baby is sleeping.  And to my 4 year old? No, I have no idea where the warthog toy is that you haven’t played with in 2 years but are suddenly obsessed with finding so stop asking me before my head explodes from repeating myself.

It’s all about balance, but how do you find that balance?

For me, it is all about moderation.  In regards to photography, and filling the role of the journalist, I find that I need to allow some moments to pass by, unrecorded. Picking up my camera was one of the most significant choices that I’ve made in my life.  Since then, I’ve taken thousands upon thousands of images.  It has become a part of who I am, and it has made birthday and holiday shopping for me incredibly easy.

I often need to remind myself, however, that my camera is an extension of who I am, and I cannot allow it to singularly define who I am (though it certainly does contribute to that definition). 

I think (I hope) that we all have moments that we would just like to leave our cameras at home.  Times that we just want to live in the moment and not be the one to document it. 

I try to have an ongoing dialog with myself, and when I wake up in the morning I promise myself that I will be there, and be present in my life and the lives of my husband and children.  I will use my camera with intention, and that moderation will allow me to find the balance I need to not only enjoy the time with my family, but it will save me from the guilt and regret of not getting any shots along the way.

How do you moderate yourself?  What sort of dialog do you use?  How do you come to the understanding that sometimes it is ok to leave your camera at home? That sometimes it is ok to allow the moment to pass, unrecorded?

Image and words courtesy of the lovely Meg Fahrenbach of Tea & Brie.

And hey! Don't forget that we're giving away some cool MOO products and a Lensbaby here this week! Awesome.

Comments

[Emma]

I've only been seriously taking photos for a year or so (before a lot of happy snaps, which were great but no real thought process behind it). I take my camera out most times (sometimes though, I just want to enjoy life without worrying about aperture and lenses etc).

The time when I realised that sometimes you need to leave your camera at home were when we had severe storms and flooding in my home town and state in Australia 9 months ago. During and after the flooding, a lot of people I know went out to take photos (not of anything destructive or traumatic, more just the sheer perspective of seeing their multistory office block in the CBD with water up to the first floor). Even though it was the first (and hopefully only) major natural disaster I've ever been involved in, I couldn't bring myself to take any photos.

It just seemed wrong somehow because even if I didn’t take a photo of anything terribly sad, it was still disrespectful to me. And that kind of thing stays with you anyway.

Sometimes also, when I've been out and wished I had my camera with me because I've seen something particularly eye catching I think to myself, I'm here, I'll enjoy the moment and perhaps write about it or just remember it instead of regretting not capturing it photographically.

(Obviously I could never be a photojournalist!)

[Marcie]

The questions I often ask myself are if the situation and the people I'm with require my presence and attention. It's so easy to distance myself and take a step back and 'capture' time thru my camera's lens..but then - I'm not 'there' for the others who need something more from me. That's how I determine when it's time to leave that camera at home (or in its bag).

Fortunately - nature asks nothing of me..allowing me the space to record:
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/10/26/lead-the-way.html
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/10/25/tightrope-walkers.html

[pthurmond1]

Leave my camera at home? NEVER!! My children are grown and now I have grandchildren(we live close by so I see them frequently). We travel occasionally with my parents(my mom is in bad health). And my grandmother is 97 and still lives at home. As you can see, I never want to be without my camera to record life's precious fleeting moments. Typically, I don't post family photos(they are in a special place), but I love to capture, edit and post other memories. To me, this is my balanced life.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/50901045@N02/6284461447/in/photostream/lightbox/

[ccap]

I'm finding it tricky these days, especially with the 365 project. Very, very tricky. So, some days I try to ignore the camera all day and all evening and then get the shot when the kids are in bed so that I'm not annoying them with my constant direction and lens in their faces.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/betsyblue/6265478412/in/photostream
http://www.flickr.com/photos/betsyblue/6262097133/in/photostream

[naomi]

Some days I struggle with balance...I feel the need to document, document, document! Because otherwise, I will probably forget! I want to be more present. Thank you for the reminder. The words are lovely. I am going to try harder! ;)

[Darlene]

I have a camera with me at all times - I have carried one for over 15 yrs!! I never know when I will see something that I need to capture but I know when it's not good time to take photos too!!!

[autumn sun]

i had a struggle with balance just this past weekend while traveling north to view the autumn leaves. Camera in hand, as the passenger, ready to shoot, constantly instructing driver to pull over here... on the second day of gorgeous, incredible weather I stopped and said "what are we doing? we're so consumed by getting "the shot" that we're not enjoying the now - this magnificent day. let's just put the cameras down and go take a hike or nap on the hill, in the sun, with this colorful view. it was wonderful.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/autumnsun/6276522658/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/autumnsun/6282062242/

[Libertad Leal]

I struggle with this a lot. It's very hard finding the balance between it all. I recently launched my own photo business and the process leading up to it was busy and intense and in those weeks I let many moments go unrecorded, simply because I was so tired and worn out to pick up the camera and edit. To my surprise I felt a sense of freedom in just enjoying the moment and putting my intense need to record every.single.moment aside. I was present in the moment as I had not been in a while and it was wonderful. Me thinks I'll be doing more of that in the future :)

[georgia]

i so needed to see this! my four-and-a-half-month-old just started eating rice cereal for the first time two days ago, and i felt so guilty for not getting a picture of it and posting it on facebook or blogging about it... or just getting the photo period. whatever happened to the days before we had all this instant technology... when there were no cameras, and we just enjoyed our kids?... like you said... live in the moment. so, you see, this helped me today. it came at the perfect time. i still want to get a picture of my son's messy covered-in-cereal face while he eats and blog about it. but i will give myself grace and time for as long as i don't seem to be able to get around to it. thanks for writing this today. and such a sweet photo to go with it.

[Wayfaring Wanderer]

I haven't really been the take-my-camera-with-me-everywhere-I-go photographer. It's just a hassle to lug that around, and, quite frankly, my neck can't really handle that much weight all the time.

My camera goes with me when I am on my adventures, aside from that, though, I find it difficult to pick up my camera in-between those times. Recently, I just started using Instagram, and it's getting me back into the 365 mode I was in about 4 years ago. Everyday, I'll look around to see what can be captured with my iphone.

I'm starting to feel that spark that I felt like has somewhat faded. However, I don't think it's a problem for me to put my camera down or leave it at home, so that I can be fully present in the moment.

When I have my camera, though, I do feel a heightened sense of awareness in whatever situation I happen to find myself in. While in some instances focusing on photography can cause a disconnect, I do feel as though, at times, it can help you become that much more engaged.

WW

[Valerie]

Once my son became a toddler, I found I needed a creative work life to feel balanced. Deadlines and work trips, however, can tip that balance too far. This past week my son, a gorgeous landscape, and my camera put everything back to rights...
http://journeyleaf.typepad.com/journeyleaf/2011/10/beach-bonding.html

[Becky Sue]

I don't always have my camera with me but now I have my iPhone which leads to less planned and more spontaneous photo sessions. I can tell you that I've never regretted having my camera along but I can remember the times that I (regrettably) forgot to bring it with me.

[Shawna]

I have long been a fan of Meg's work and it's such a delightful surprise to see her here on Shutter Sisters!

It's hard not to take one... more... picture... when the lighting is perfect and your kids are capering around delightfully! But if you never put the camera down, you never get to caper with them.

(Of course, you can sometimes hand the camera to your husband and get him to catch you capering with the kids...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shawnac/6284911162)

[Wendy]

I struggle with balance. I find that I'm a very all or nothing kind of person in so many areas, and I'd really like to change that. We went on a vacation this past summer to San Diego and I didn't take one single photo with my big camera. I shot a lot with my phone, but I don't know that those images will see the light of day. Although with Blurb's new Instagram books, maybe they will.

I wonder if the hassle for me is the bigness of my big camera. Maybe I need to get one of those PEN cameras...then I can get a shot quickly, know it will be decent quality, yet put it right back in my (small) purse when the shot is over. I don't know.

Thanks for the reminder to be more in the moment, Meg. It's a wonderful reminder.

[Dotti]

This is ALWAYS a tough decision for us, isn't it? Just two days ago I made the decision to leave my camera at home for a family outing so that I could live in the moment. That meant using a mediocre (inspiration-wise and compositionally) iPhone photo for my 365 project. But ... guess what? The earth did not stop spinning on its axis. Life is good and sometimes we just need to savor that goodness in our hearts instead of our photos.

[Ana Eugenio]

what an amazing post and set of comments! I wish my life was this rich. I'm 41 and retired since last year due to health issues. photography brought me back to Life and I wish I could carry my camera with me all the time :) I don't have many roles on a daily basis. I wish I had. my balance is to find strenght to get out of bed and do stuff. it's not easy to be retired at my age, the income is really low, really low, I only worked 12 years, and my illness turned my life upside down. I try to blog only about the happy things. that's my major role: try to be happy every day. I think I get there most of the time thanks to photography.

[starrlife]

Love this post. At midlife with a full time job and a 12 year old I really struggle with balance for my new passions - writing and photography. I almost never actually seek specific things to shoot but I do like to try to bring my camera as many places as possible and put my "eyes" on as I go along on my life path. And I have found many times that I tell myself to just put the camera down!!! So easy to hide behind..... But sometimes, sometimes I long to immerse myself and fantasize about a photo retreat, away from the day to day life. Sigh.

[Alex]

I'm so happy to see Meg, here! She totally rocks my world in pictures and words. xoxx

[jacob co replica watches]

We offer to your attention only replica watches of the best quality-<a href="http://www.xclones.net/luxury-jacob-clone-co-watches-clone-cb40.html
">jacob co replica watches</a>
If you want to purchase a cheap watch, you should try a lot of methods. Online shopping is the best way for you.-<a href="http://www.xclones.net/luxury-jacob-clone-co-watches-clone-cb40.html
">Together with buying of two exclusive watch brand Daniel Roth and Gerald Genta</a>

[Tiffany Outlet UK]

http://www.abercrombiesaleinuk.com/
http://www.abercrombiesaleinuk.com/men-c-45.html
http://www.abercrombiesaleinuk.com/women-c-32.html
http://www.abercrombiesaleinuk.com/couple-series-c-57.html
http://www.tiffanyjewelleryinuk.com/
http://www.tiffanyjewelleryinuk.com/tiffany-bangles-c-4.html
http://www.tiffanyjewelleryinuk.com/tiffany-bracelets-c-3.html
http://www.tiffanyjewelleryinuk.com/tiffany-cuff-link-c-8.html

[Uggs on sale]

http://www.uggbootssalea.co.uk/
http://www.uggbootsclearance.uk.com/
http://www.uggbootsclearance.uk.com/ugg-jimmy-choo-boots
http://www.uggbootsclearance.uk.com/ugg-boots-metallic-classic-short
http://www.uggbootssaleu.uk.com/
http://www.uggbootssaleu.uk.com/ugg-boots-bailey-button
http://www.uggbootssaleu.uk.com/ugg-boots-classic-tall