savoring motherhood

I did all the right things. I read all the books. I watched all the videos. I took all the classes. I went to prenatal yoga classes religiously, took walks with my husband, and daydreamed with him about how we were going to have the “happiest baby on the block.” I savored every minute of my pregnancy and was excited to do the same with our newborn.

We were ready. Or so we thought.

Then she arrived and everything we thought we knew flew out the window. Night was day and day was night. I felt as if the life I once knew was a distant memory and now I was navigating new and very foreign territory. I wouldn’t have traded my new life for the old one, but those early days were hard. Very hard.

Several weeks after Sadie was born, I realized that I had been in a deep fog. While I was wallowing in the exhaustion, she was growing and changing. And I had missed it.

Yes, this has been one of the most difficult times in my life, but I don’t want to lose sight of how wondrous and amazing it is. I want to savor it because it will be gone before I know it.

Never in my life have I been so aware of the passage of time. Becoming a mother has amplified my need to preserve memories. At seven weeks old, I am floored by how fast Sadie is growing. Sometimes, it feels like she changes from minute to minute. She’ll wake up from a nap and I swear she’s gained three pounds. Every morning, I wake up to find a new baby.  

And so I do what I always do when I want to savor a moment in time: I pick up my camera. And when I do, I see for the first time what has been there all along: chubby hands, tiny ruffles, soft skin, itty-bitty shoes, little toes, wise eyes, first smiles, and a whole lot of love.

Yes, in the topsy-turvy life with a newborn, my camera helps me savor the simple moments and remember what is most important.

Share with us the kinds of moments you are savoring this season.

* * * * * *

Darrah Parker is giving away one spot in the Slice of Life Project, a 6-week photography e-course that will help you savor the details of your everyday life. Leave a comment for a chance to win a spot in the winter session, starting February 6.

For more information about Darrah, visit her website. For more information about her e-course, visit the Slice of Life Project web page.

Comments

[Geraldine]

Amen.

[Marcie]

It's so true. They grow so fast. These days - I'm savoring the moments of the season:
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/12/20/winter-blues.html
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/12/21/a-smile.html

[Victoria Meadows - Washington Boudoir Photographer]

Im sure all the books you read weren't in vain, at least I hope not!

[marina]

such a beautiful description of the time you are living, Darrah! and such an adorable image of your child and of love!
I am savoring the quiet moments I create in my days, among all the things to do, and the beauty that I can find in the quiet:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mar_s/6553247033/

[Anne Littlebird]

You are so blessed! And you are right that these moments are fleeting. Savor every last second and record everything. She will love you even more for it when she is old enough to appreciate your view of her growing up.

[Paula]

Every stage of their lives is wondrous (yes,even their teenage years!). We sometimes forget that in the busyness of every day life. Thanks for the reminder!

[Kate]

I miss the infant stages. With a 16 and 13 year old my life if very different, but still magical.

[Kathleen O.]

Our fifth Christmas as a family
Our first Christmas in our new house
He's turning seven soon
And I can't kiss his head enough
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ko2008/6484877203/in/photostream

[MiYa]

My girl is 8 month old and I already have regrets about not having taken enough pictures, written enough stories,...

[Brandi]

Thank you. My second son is turning 1 on Christmas eve and I feel that I have missed alot of his milestones on film, compared to his older brother. A reminder to savour this time and in the morning I will take my camera in and get them both as they wake:)

[starrlife]

Oh do I get this post Darrah. The books can not possibly capture what is to come- at least not for me. I was stunned and stupefied :) A new dimension of life opened up and I felt like I was possessed by an alien until she was at least three (not implying it wasn't wonderful, just strange). Lovely shot.

[DebC]

"...I am floored by how fast Sadie is growing."
At 7 weeks, you had your wake-up call.
It never ends.
The amazement will continue...and continue...and continue...and so will the blessings.
http://simplify-daily-life.blogspot.com/2011/12/20121221-finding-joy-in.html

[Andrea]

You captured it so beautifully- my baby was born just before Christmas last year and all the festivities of the season bring me back- to the sleepless nights, the fog that was being a new mother. If I didn't have my camera, I don't know what I would have done. I so understand that feeling of wanting them to grow up (just a little- enough that they sleep) and wanting them to stay frozen in time. People tell me this is a feeling that will last forever.

Just look at him now! This is where you'll be next year:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifelovelittlethings/6546140767/in/photostream

[M Evans]

I am acutely aware everyday of that passage of time...something I didn't experience before my two little girls were born. Thank you for a wonderful post that will help me to move a bit slower today and cherish these moments of their young lives even more.

[fanny]

That has pretty much been my experience this year with our first baby. I would love to take this class, and capture the slices of life of his second year!

[Cheryl]

Happy to see you made it through the fog to your sunshine. You are so right to capture all you can with your camera. My boys are adults now and looking back at photos can bring it all back in an instance.

[Ana Eugenio]

this year, my mother and I started a tradition: moments we savor this season ~ Xmas rehearsals just the two of us. I've been publishing them on my blog, here is one: http://www.anasofiaeugenio.com/2011/12/xmas-rehearsal_15.html

I've a small family. we will be eight on Xmas Eve, and usually on Xmas day we're left alone, the two of us, so this sort of rehearsals brought back the spirit long before Christmas (we started mid November) I loved doing it. and now my Xmas is filled with a lot more good memories :)

[Dotti]

Oh! How I wish we'd had digital when my daughter was small! I'm very thankful that my granddaughter, now 4, was born in the digital camera age. I must have 15,000 pictures of her yet I have a hard time deleting even the worst of them. They are all precious to me.

[Rebecca]

The moments I'm savoring right now are the ones where I can see love in my home. My kids on their daddy's lap. Children helping each other instead of fighting. My daughter reading me a bedtime story last night. Those are the kind of things I just want to soak up and remember!

[Becky Sue]

My oldest son is home for a week before his younger brother gets out of school, I'm savoring this one on one time with him.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rslaflam/6551096369/

I have a group of friends who call the first months with an infant 'Baby boot camp' because it is so hard both mentally and physically. Time has never flown so fast as when kids are added to the mix, my oldest is 11 and I keep thinking that these 11 years have raced by and in just 7 more he'll be leaving. Gulp and tears. Best of luck to you as you encounter each new stage of life with children.

[Lelainia Lloyd]

Oh just wait! The years will fly by at warp speed from here on it. My son is 20 and I have NO idea how the heck that happened! It doesn't seem possible. Take tons of pictures and be as present in the moment as you can when you're spending time with your daughter. Before you know it, she'll be grown...and then gone!

I am savouring this today: http://tatterededge.blogspot.com/2011/12/gift.html

[PHope]

Beautiful post!! I'm not a mom yet but I cherish the everyday moments with my niece and nephews.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my mom and my youngest nephew and captured this:

http://petinahopephotography.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/portrait-yogurt-evanston-photographer/

[Amy Goddard]

Great post and beautiful picture! I am not a mom yet, but your post hammered in to my head (again) to slow down and take in everything around me.

[Marta Rhine]

I can recall plenty of tough tough momments in the months after becoming a mother. Even harder I think, the 2nd time around. Back then, I didn't feel such a strong connection to photography and I regret not getting the kinds of images I now do for others of my own boys. Now I look for special momments shared between two growing boys, those brother momments when they don't think I'm looking. They are my inspiration. No photo where they are the subject is ever lacking anything. Take a look...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrhinefoto/6373890159/

[Jessica]

So, so true. My relatives teased me about taking "millions" of pictures of my son in his first year, but I love every one of them. PS: Sadie is absolutely beautiful. :)

[Cris T]

Very nice and honest....my one big regret is that looking back there are very few photos of me and my babies. Tons of everyone else and my babies. They have grow up and changed, but so have I. I wish I would of documented that more. Don't be afraid to turn your camera over to someone else and when they get older, let your children have a go! They love to point out later..."I took that!"

[DanaN]

It's wonderful that you are savoring this time together. Like everyone will tell you, time goes by so quickly so enjoy every moment.

[Barbara]

I so remember those early days with a baby. I thought it would be so easy and Motherhood was what I'd been dreaming of for years. No one can explain to you the craziness that sets in in those early weeks. I cried many tears of frustration and exhaustion wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into--my first baby was colicky for months and wouldn't let me put her down hardly at all for the first year. Still, she was loved and wanted and we made it through. Now she is a lovely 13 yo and, of course, it was worth every single minute. I took lots of pictures (I did it more to document every little thing than because I was drawn to photography at that time). My daughter LOVES looking at my scrapbooks and reading the little stories I wrote about her. Here she now (we worked together on this picture) -- I love her to the moon and back:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50654891@N07/6309351941/

[erika]

Sometimes even attempting to savor is the only thing to get me through motherhood. And that's what photography has given me: the right and ability to stop a moment. I might not get gooey or emotional every time I savor motherhood/childhood, but the act of trying stops me from losing my mind. Because let's be honest, motherhood is really difficult.

Yesterday, we savored a new tradition. Without learning to stop and take notice, I might have been angry about the mess or waste. Instead, I laughed at the insanity of all those sprinkles.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/onemoreplease/6551847191/in/photostream

[Kara]

lovely post. I'm going through this same thing at the moment.

[Becs]

It's so true, they do. As Gretchen Rubin says - the days are long but the years are short. My girl is nearly 6 and we love looking back at her baby photos together. It's the little everyday things that I love the most - the little expressions she had to get our attention and make us laugh, her favourite bath toy, her delight in her favourite tv show. At the time you think you'll never forget but I'm so glad I took as many photos as I did (and still do) because we would have forgotten so much otherwise. (And hopefully one day I'll get round to sorting through them properly!).

[Shawn]

Writing does the same for me. In fact, I wrote what I am savoring right now on my latest blog post because, like you, I am feeling so emotional about the weight of motherhood -- and I"m not even new anymore. Just shy of six years under my belt and they still bring me to tears. Still fill me with fears. Still soak me head to toe with immense joy and gratitude that I am their mommy. It is so hard, so amazing, so life changing. I think I would really enjoy your class even though my interest has been in writing, primarily. Not sure I'm a good enough photog to do well but it might the kind of change of pace that I need, as a writer and a mama.

[andy]

I'm savouring that first second when my son opens his eyes Christmas morning and soaks in all the magic.

[Paola]

Oh I remember it well. It IS hard, no sensible person would put themselves through it, except you get a great kid at the end of it. And you and that great kid will LOVE looking back at all the photos....

[Carol E.]

I am savoring have my two college kids home, making us a family of 5 again.

[shawna]

wonderful. the changes in mama and baby are always amazing, every day. it is an unbelievable journey. i'm doing a 365 project right now, and i find myself snapping simple moments with my camera more than anything. they are the things i want to savor.

[Catherine Hagele]

It is all so true. I think back on those early days and I remember myself changing as much as my baby did. I was a natural, and somehow all thumbs at the same time. It was as difficult as it was joyous. It was exhausting and tedious and wonderful, and somehow as soon as I thought I had it figured out for a moment, it all changed with the gain of a pound or the cut of a tooth, or the connection of a brain synapse! It is a roller coaster of equilibrium and disequilibrium and I am still learning how to be on the ride. Thanks for sharing this, Darrah.

[Marji]

I'm not a Mom, but I have watched my friends children almost grow before my very eyes. Capturing the moments is pure joy. Nice post

[Katie]

Savoring: my little ones and their dazzling excitement for Christmas; moments of quiet time to read beautiful blogs such as this one; the snow falling outside, blanketing our small slice of the world winter white.

[Kristen]

It is so true! I have a two year old and I am expecting my second child in February. I am cherishing all of the moments I have left with just one child and look forward to meeting our new little one.

[Stephanie]

Pictures are worth a thousand words - but your words fill in all the ambiguities! It's nice to have both.
Lovely...

[Sarah]

I love the way you have written about being intentional about appreciating the moments, one of my daughters has been in a serious accident, and I have learnt that this is so important! This year I am trying not get caught up with the busyness of Christmas and concentrating on making special memories with my kids. Can't wait to see their faces on Christmas morning!!!

[Kim N]

Wow, I just read about Darrah's slice of life class and was reading about the class, then came here to see what was new on SS. How I would love a chance to win a class! I so agree with her post, mine are 7 and 5 and I have enjoyed so many of those moments, taking it all in and yet, I still wonder where 7 years went.

[Josie Leahy Brooks (Snowy MTHead)]

I have no children but love hearing about all of my friends and nieces recent experiences. I never seeked motherhood, nor did my husband seek fatherhood, but we both know the greatest gift a human can give is to give LIFE to a child/soul. I am so very happy for you and she is going to continue to have a beautiful life.
Being unemployed after many years of employment at the same company I am at a place of "re-birth". In this time I am looking at myself as the insecure, searching girl who just happened to grow-up in the muddle of life. But I am finding so many blessings and knowing that God/Universe has a plan for me and this experience has been planned out by my own soul. So I rest my weary soul now, because I am safe and secure with my love Kevin and I pray for all of those less fortunate than I. I just need to listen to my heart and take care of that little girl inside of me. Peace and love to you and happy Hanukkah!!

[Erin]

This post was perfection. My first son was just born on September 8th of this year, and every moment with him feels like a whole new life! I found the actual recovery from birth quite shocking. And my need to preserve memories and my savor for sentimentality have completely flourished. I don't know if there are words yet to appropriately capture this time, but yours have come closer than any I have written. Becoming a mom this year is far and away the favorite slice of my life! =)

[joey]

For me there is nothing like holding a baby this time of year. This is the first Christmas in a while that we don't have a baby boy. I'm a little sad about that, but I forget it when I get to see their delight in the lights, music, food, and traditions. Yes, I savor it all!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/19379573@N06/6557402821/in/photostream

[Liz]

What a great post. So impressive you're able to express your world so beautifully despite the sleep deprivation. Ah, memories (mine are 3 and 5 now). This holiday season, we are embracing messes. Shiny clean houses are overrated and fun is good!

http://www.smallhandsbigworld.blogspot.com/

[Rosemary Kaye]

It is no wonder that so many women discover photography when they become a mother for the first time. So many changes for both baby and mother in that first year, it is both excruciatingly difficult and unfathomably magical at the same time.

Oh how I would love to take Darrah's Slice of Life Project class. I recently bought a domain name to start a blog to document the everyday {extra}ordinary things in my life.

[Brenda]

I like the Trace Adkins song "you gonna miss this, you going to want this back...Because it is true. But the next stage is a blast too.
I would love to win Darrah's Slice of Life Project. I am reading and learning every day.

[s.patel]

such a lovely post and a reminder to live in the present!