Shutter Sisters - Journal - Thoughts on Playing Big

Sunday

Apr102011

Thoughts on Playing Big

Sunday, April 10, 2011 by

When I think about playing bit I think of big things. Big dreams, big decisions, big shifts. I think of being bold, powerful and strong. And sometimes that’s exactly what it is about. The Big stuff.

But what about the Big things that happen in tiny, quiet ways? Like the Big shifts that come from taking slow, deliberate steps or making the seemingly smallest decisions. I’m not sure I really felt the importance of those little Big things like I do right now.

I was recently invited to participate in something that sounded wonderful to me. A fun, creative, rewarding experience that seemed like a perfect fit. Perfect, until I discovered a small wrinkle. You know, that something that didn’t feel quite right. I immediately knew it from the “the twinge” inside me. Oh boy. I realized had some sorting out to do.

After doing everything I could to work around it through self-talk (maybe it’s not that big of a deal, maybe I can still make it work, maybe I’m over-reacting, or even worse, maybe they won’t ask me back, maybe there’s no point in telling the truth), it only felt like my dilemma was getting larger, more pronounced, and unavoidable. The small twinge was now an overwhelming get-wrenching. I didn’t need to sort it out anymore. My body was telling me all I needed to know.

I cannot tell you how I agonized over saying “no”. How I played it over and over in my head. How I worried and wondered how my answer would be received and if my truest, most authentic voice would be heard. There was nothing left to do but make a phone call. And I found the courage to do it. And it was scary and hard and I’m still disappointed that what I thought was a good fit, was ruined by one small (ok big) wrinkle. But actually doing what I knew was right for me, no matter how afraid I was, was the right thing to do. No matter how difficult it seemed and no matter how much was at risk from a possible fall out, I just did it. And I can feel it in my bones as I share this story that with one seemingly small decision, I was playing Big. And even if no one else even noticed, speaking my truth was bold, powerful and strong.

I have been making some Big shifts lately. Big things are happening with me, inside and out. This is true. And Big feels good, especially when it happens without the internal struggle. Sometimes it can come without debate or worry or fear. That’s one kind of Big. But in the case of the small stuff, like the little shifts and the whisper of our inner-knowing, or when playing Big feels really hard? I’m finding that sometimes that’s the best kind of Big there is.

...........

Tara Sofia Mohr shares a number of stories about playing Big on her Wise Living blog. I can think of no better teacher on the subject than Tara which is why I wanted to share with you the details of her soon-coming Playing Big program. Monday is the last day to register so if you’re thinking about Playing Big, I say, Just Do It!

Tara tweeted something yesterday that is still giving me goosebumps:

Shutter Sisters + Playing Big = World Changing. That means you. That means me. That means us.

Today, show us something that feels Big to you in your images! Let’s spend today focusing on Playing Big.

25 Comments

Reader Comments (25)

Thank you so much for this post! I can relate to it very well! Today I am preparing for an important work meeting tomorrow and I am nervous. Will I be able to be wise and diplomatic enough to propose the right project for a collaboration I am planning to have? How can I communicate what I want to do without taking space from others and their ideas? How can I avoid giving in too much, ending up with far too much work on my side that will leave me stressed out and disappointed? The way how I will be answering questions and what I will say (little things) will sum up to something big. And the more I feel right with the small things, the more likely I will be with the big thing/ the collaboration in the end.
When feeling that weight of uncertainty, it feels so good to look at a picture I just took yesterday at an Aquarium:

http://www.andreahandl.de/?p=297

The lightness and the cool colors feel so soothing. How elegant such a small creature moves through the water. As if not rush in the world, no worries could affect it.
Hope you will like the picture. And I hope that for all your small and big things these days you will find a moment to be still, to reflect and to feel a little lightness before taking the next step.

April 10, 2011 |

Andrea

Thought-provoking and interesting - thank you for sharing this. And I love that lavender image - it's my favourite flower and smell.

I'm facing a big career choice this year. Realistically, I won't get to work with what I'm most passionate about if I want to have a regular income, live in the same town as my partner and start a family. As I've grown older, I've become better able to hear what my inner-knowing (I love that phrase!) is saying, and I believe that ability will help me choose the right path in this instance as well.

Starting a new (temporary) job three weeks ago feels like a big step as well. I'm beginning to see that this job, which came at me out of the blue, might just be the beginning of some unexpected and surprising possibilities.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/85057042@N00/5568279509/

April 10, 2011 |

Jennifée

Such an inspiring post. I especially love how Tara can turn saying 'no' into a positive..and into a way of playing 'big'. In so many ways I can so perfectly relate.

I think - somehow - there's something about the vastness of the universe..and the smallness of us 'beings' (in whatever form we come) that inspires that 'big' inside:
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/4/9/three-corners.html

April 10, 2011 |

Marcie

Wonderful image with such inspiring words. I may be on to something big for my little world. I'm a stay-at-home mom who clicks away at something everyday. People are starting to notice and are asking me if I have plans in the photography world. I keep saying that I'm plugging away towards something, something is pulling me to keep this up, but I'm just not sure what it is. Well, I was asked to photograph a bridal shower and the clients (friends of friends) loved the results. Suddenly, I got a call two weeks later for a baby shower (neighbor). People are asking for cards and are looking at my work. It is CRAZY to me. Now, I'm wondering if it is just luck to get calls so close together, or is this something BIG.

http://jessicavescera.blogspot.com/2011/03/wonderful-first-experience.html

April 10, 2011 |

Jess

Ohhhhh my did this little post inspire big feelings in me. Oddly enough, even tears. It was like the permission I needed to allow myself time for the little (big) changes I'm making to start making a difference that shows. Life goes much too fast and often my small things become those overwhelming mountains--out-of-molehills because of my impatience to see BIG change too fast. Therein lies the Playing Big for me: taking it more slowly, forgiving myself for my impatience, and giving myself the gift of the white space I need to appreciate the beauty of what is happening in the moment. In my heart, I know the changes I'm making will unfold into their big impact in their own time. Ahhhhhh, relief.

I like negative space when I'm reading a page and in photographs. I see it now as a reflection of the the white space. Negative space is positive space for me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/58066769@N05/5605315867/

Tara, your blog is wonderful. I am so thrilled to make the discovery. I read several of the blog posts just this morning and every single one had valuable insight that inspires me. Thank you.

April 10, 2011 |

Stephanie (keenemomma)

What a deep and beautiful post. When I look back it's definitely all those little things that seem so insignifant at the time that often yield the biggest change. Most recently the little changes that feel big to me have come in the form of my photography. Even though I have a long way to go I'm learning and growing each and every day.

http://dychedesigns.blogspot.com/2011/04/whats-blossoming-reverb11.html

April 10, 2011 |

Kathryn

gosh this really resonates with me today. right now. this shift in life. thank you for this post!

"But actually doing what I knew was right for me, no matter how afraid I was, was the right thing to do. No matter how difficult it seemed and no matter how much was at risk from a possible fall out, I just did it."

April 10, 2011 |

meredith winn

Thank you for this post today, Tracey. I too burst into tears after reading this. It spoke to something so deep in me, that I cannot put it into words. I have been feeling a HUGE shift in me lately that I should be doing something else in my life, but I just haven't quite found the courage to play big and make that leap to the real me.This imight just be the little push I needed. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end as I type this.
Thank you again,
Katy

April 10, 2011 |

Katy

This post really resonated with me, as I start laying out the small steps that it will take to make the big leap from stay at home mom to self employed photo-artist. It's scary, but I keep telling myself that if I just take on one thing at a time, I can do this.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joyellebrandt/5453529937/in/set-72157625704248710

April 10, 2011 |

Joyelle

i completely understand this post - and the lesson - which i never find easy. here's to big ideas, that feel right...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/78865561@N00/4963182543/

April 10, 2011 |

sperlygirl

I love the beautiful tones you have achieved in these flowers, exquisite, deliciously attractive. Really beautiful. A hug.

April 10, 2011 |

Leovi

Tracey, this is so beautiful, and so resonates with how I think about Playing Big. It can be about the big external things - being in the headlines, and reaching lots of people with one's work, and all of that. But the core of it - and perhaps the core of what creates all that external success anyway - is just what you described: can I, in this simple and difficult moment, find my own voice and speak it? Can I be brave here? Can I stand in my own view of things and see it as worthy?
You described your process so beautifully and I related to every moment of it!

April 10, 2011 |

Tara Sophia Mohr

Tara, turn saying 'no' into a positive, how do we do that? I could do with a lesson there

April 11, 2011 |

Chantal

Opening up to a new friend was big yesterday - so was the response....we are closer than we could have thought. Plus in the literal sense I ordered my first big prints last night - I am going bolder with my work and though scared I feel that tingle in my gut that says 'this is right'.
I chose this as my first ever 12x16 inch print (big for me). This is a self expression....in order to appreciate the bright times in my depression I need to equally be at one with the dark (a hard lesson to learn) - it makes the whole picture so much more beautiful.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70217058/the-half-light-black-and-white-fine-art

April 11, 2011 |

Carrie

Today I am honoring a close friend's decision to be Big, and go boldly in the direction of her dreams. I'm caught in the bittersweet spot of not wanting things to change and being proud of her determination and inspired by her vision.
http://www.birdwannawhistle.com/blog/2011/4/11/blossoming.html

April 11, 2011 |

Corinna

this hits me today. wonderful, meaningful post.
this tiny little tip of new green looks so big
http://www.flickr.com/photos/autumnsun/5598198418/

April 11, 2011 |

autumn sun

I love the beautiful tones you have achieved in these flowers, exquisite, deliciously attractive. Really beautiful.

April 11, 2011 |

Leovi

Forging ahead when your daughter has cancer feels big. And wondering why and how this happened feels big too.

http://www.shelleyabreu.com/shelley-abreu/2011/04/forging-ahead.html

Thanks for posing the question!

April 11, 2011 |

Shelley Abreu

thank you for these brave and honest comments. I am so moved and inspired by you all.

April 12, 2011 |

traceyclark

Thank you for this post. I am thinking alot about some big life changing ideas at the moment I just need to find the courage.

April 12, 2011 |

Jolynn

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