Thankful.

It was about 17 years ago, I don't remember exactly.  My brother and dad together one afternoon and me, using my brother's old high school camera, a Pentax K1000 (which I still have).  My dad and I had not spoken in many years and had only recently begun speaking again after my brother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.  It was an akward moment for me but I had my camera and that was my safety net.  Always has been, probably always will be.  I developed the film in a B&W photo class I was taking at a junior college the next day and I remember being so displeased with the quality of the photo.  I didn't like the lighting, the contrast wasn't perfect, etc.  I tossed it aside and forgot all about it.  That is until last week, when in the middle of going through some old things, I came across it again.  My heart did a little flutter as I looked closely at the photo. I notice my dad's long, weathered hands and the way he's looking directly at me, his expression a little unsure maybe?  And then I smile as I notice my brother trying to be Mr. GQ.  Not only does the photo not seem so bad to me now, I'm so very thankful that I kept it because 3 years after this photo was taken, I lost my brother to cancer. A short 3 years after my brother passed, I lost my dad.

Now, when I have those moments (and I do) and I wonder if photography is really what I'm meant to do or I start questioning my own self-confidence with it all (which I also do), I look at this photo and I know...a camera most definitely belongs in my hands. 

How about you? What was your 'aha' moment or photo? Please, do share.

Comments

[Marcie]

This is so beautiful - that you have this photo..and all that it evokes for you. Photography IS amazing..isn't it? We don't always recognize it at the time..but always - years later.

And - my aha moments (lately) have come more from the words evoked by the images themselves..that remind me of stories of those that I love:
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/6/26/off-center.html
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/6/27/her-voice.html

[Kathryn Dyche Dechairo]

This post brought a tear to my eye. Having lost my father several years ago I know how special those snapshots can be. Hugs.

[pthurmond1]

My husband gave me a camera for my birthday last October. I was apprehensive and unsure that I had the creativity to express myself through photography. I am still unsure. But, when I took this picture, it helped me know that I CAN!! One of my favorites.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/50901045@N02/5402990010/in/photostream

[Jennifer M.]

What a touching story. It's the little things like this simple picture that often mean the most.

[Kelly]

What a beautiful photo to treasure. Thank you for sharing.

My aha moments have been happening over the past 6 months. It's the realization that I CAN grab my camera and create something that tells a story about our family in the capturing of everyday moments.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/58821554@N06/5617016366/in/photostream
http://www.flickr.com/photos/58821554@N06/5873416235/in/photostream

[Tricia]

I don't have a photo to share at the moment but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in 1988 when he was 16. And, I'm struggling with my relationship with my father. You photograph reminds me of the look I often STILL get from my dad and I want to add that your brother was a cutie...looked a little like Johnny Depp :) I will search for an aha moment, but in case I don't find one, my thoughts are with you. Thanks for sharing.

[Deborah Tisch]

Thanks for sharing this very special photo and the story of your loss.

My 'aha' moment came recently as I was scanning some old slides. I realized that back when I was in high school and even before that, I was taking photos of every day life and doing a fairly decent job at it even then. I saw through the old images that, as you put it, a camera belongs in my hands. My interest in photography has been reawakened by the courses I have taken through Big Picture Classes, and I'm grateful for that experience.

[Kath]

Definitely this moment:

http://www.soeursdujour.com/2009/04/come-on-in.html

xo Kath

[Littlepurplecow]

Chris, I love the awkwardness of this moment. Such handsome and strong men, yet each unique. Moving story.

[Shutter Sisters]

this is a treasure Chris. thank you for reminding us how very important our job really is! xo tracey

[Patti G]

Like you, the camera is never far from my hands. Several "aha" moments have come in & out of my life, but this pic was one of the greatest.
We had lost my mom to a serious illness just 2 years prior - plenty of time to take those treasured photos. But then, while on vacation, my sister calls & tells me our dad died suddenly through the night. We suspect it was his broken heart.
I flew home that evening & while gathering photos for his memorial, I cam across this shot that I had taken just 2 weeks prior at Easter Sunday dinner w/ my nieces. I had forgotten I had taken in until I started looking through the photo files on my computer....

http://www.flickr.com/photos/22639132@N04/2363117727/in/set-72157624697835204

Photos are a precious reminder of life ....... now, then and soon too be

[Puna]

Oh so thankful I read this today. And I'm sure you are thankful that this moment was captured. You've made me wistfully grateful today.

[Sandee]

What a wonderful photo! I'm so glad you kept it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/34977978@N05/3261360968/

[missing moments]

I'm beginning to believe ... and it is never never too late!

http://www.missingthemomgene.com/2011/06/escape.html

[Libertad Leal]

What a wonderful story and image, very powerful. I am sorry for your loss.

Doubting myself and my abilities as a wanna be photographer is a past time of mine. That being said, I have had a few images that have made me go: aha! I can do it!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/libertadleal/5505214100
http://www.flickr.com/photos/libertadleal/5383657528
http://www.flickr.com/photos/libertadleal/5549329646/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/libertadleal/5260136840

[Laine]

Beautiful post and beautiful photo. Thank you for sharing.

[Robin]

Once again you picture tells the story! I'm glad you shared it with us all :o)

[Kiran @ KiranTarun.com]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes, passion brings people together in a different way. Glad you were able to have this photo as a memory.

[Siobhan Wolf]

Wow, Chris, what a gift. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[georgia]

wow... this is really moving. i only wish i had realized how much i love photography and want to capture people with it before my dad died five years ago. i have next to no photos of my dad. i have one, but it was with a not so good camera, and i was not trying to be artistic when i took it. i just sort of snapped it of him and his best friend at his anniversary party just a short year before he died.

but, i know i can't dwell on the fact that i never really captured my dad in photos the way i like to now. i still have great mental pictures and memories of him. but it has motivated me to capture people who are here with me now... or even myself. i would say my "aha" moment with photography was when i took photos of my best friend at her wedding.

here is one from the flickr set of her wedding.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28567264@N05/4869930955/in/set-72157624594877733/lightbox/

[Emma]

Before I read the description I could see so much feeling in your dad and brother's faces although I wasn't sure why ... then I read the story behind it and it made so much sense.

A wonderful photo, thanks so much for sharing that.

[Little Miss Joey]

Such a beautiful and touching story... thank you for sharing.
The photograph is beautiful and definitely tells a story...