Words

Words were everywhere at Camp Shutter Sisters, and they were plentiful.  If we didn't see them, we heard them, and often.  Words or phrases like Shoot with gratitude, Give yourself permission and you are beautiful. For me, some were easy to do or believe while others, not so much.  Shoot with Gratitude?  You got it.  Give yourself permission or you are beautiful?  Meh.  Maybe.  But as the weekend progressed, the words and their meanings started to sink in.  So, I gave myself permission at camp to be alone or skip dinner or take a nap.  And you know what? Every single one of those women at camp, myself included, are beautiful.

Words.  Lots of them.  What a gift.

Today, share your favorite uplifting or positive words.  Have a photo to go along with them? Share those, too.  And remember, you are beautiful, too.

walk with gratitude

My experience this past week at Camp Shutter Sisters was extraordinary and inspiring beyond words. The memories are floating around in my head all jumbled and overlapping as I attempt to drift back into everyday life. And as much as I fight it, I will eventually become fully immersed into my routine again.

We all have days when the drudgery of life gets in the way of our lens. These are the moments when the space around us seems less than beautiful, possibly even ugly. However, thanks to Tracey Clark and the other amazing women I have just met, I am now armed with the reminder to "walk with gratitude" as I hold my camera and view my surroundings. It's amazing how those words transformed me. It's a simple suggestion but one that lingers in my mind. The idea is less about composition or f-stops, and more about allowing the feeling of gratitude to pour through our eyes and ultimately our lens.

Make a point today to walk with gratitude with or without a camera. If it inspires you to capture your surroundings, please share your images with us below.

Notes from the Middle

It’s 6:33.  In the morning, not the evening.  And I'm sitting at my computer.  I’m not usually up this early by choice, but it’s the first morning after camp and something is different.  I’m different.  That’s the wonderful thing about experiences like this.  They change you.  They make you jump out of bed by choice at an ungodly (to me) hour of the morning to write things down, because you don’t want to forget…  

Most mornings, I hear the door of the boys’ room open and realize it’s still dark outside.   My first thought of the day is “It’s time to get up already?  Why couldn’t they sleep just a little longer so mommy could get a little more rest?”  Then comes the part where they climb into the bed, get under the covers, all poky knees and sharp elbows.  The bed immediately shrinks to the size of a postage stamp.  They cuddle close, searching for my body heat because the trek from their bed to mine has left their feet cold (very, very cold) and my skin is oh, so warm.  As they get comfortable, I feel the taking of me begin.  The taking that happens when you’re a parent to young children and your needs don’t come first anymore.  I guess this is what they meant when they said “parenting is the most self-less act in the world.  Don't do it until you're ready to give all of you to your kids”.

But today.  Today is different.  I’ve been away from them for 3 mornings. I’ve been inspired by the amazing women at Camp and their practice of shooting through gratitude, shooting with intention and shooting what you love.  I’ve been thinking about my passion for shooting life as it is right now, in this very moment.  I’ve been thinking about story and how even that seems too big for me.  Stories have a beginning, a middle and an end.  But that is too long for me, too drawn out.  Because sometimes, when I think about the whole story, it overwhelms me.  It reminds me that the BEGINNING of the week started off frenzied, with too many things on my to do list.  And I immediately just want to get to the END so that I can finally exhale.  What I’m finally realizing (thank you camp sisters) is that I leave no room in my life for the MIDDLE.  The right here, the right now.  When I’m focused on the END and just want to get there, I miss everything in the MIDDLE.  It's all a chore and I just want to get it over with so I can get to the END, to my prize.  I know in my heart that the END never really comes.  There's always a new BEGINNING, and a new END.  But isn’t the MIDDLE where the good stuff happens?  Where the joy is?  What am I missing by ignoring the MIDDLE?

Making this connection, right now at 7:07 in the morning, is blowing my mind.  My Mind = Blown.

This morning, when I heard the boys’ door open, a small smile crept onto my face.  I heard their quick, heavy footsteps and felt warm.  Warmer than my blankets could ever make me feel.  When they cuddled into me, I reached out and pulled them even closer.  I welcomed the feel of their skin against mine, regardless of how cold it was.  I listened as their breathing became rhythmic.  I breathed them in and wondered how I could capture this moment with my camera.  How I could remember that this morning, instead of thinking about how tired I was from getting to bed late and how many things there were on my to do list, I thought only about the good in that single moment in time.  And how blissful it felt.  How grateful I felt for my life.  For that moment.  In the MIDDLE.  

That is my passion.  Capturing the stuff in the MIDDLE.  The stuff that gets lost when you think about the BEGINNING and the END of the story.

That is what I learned at Camp and I don't want to forget.

What about you? Share a glimpse of what it looks like to be present and content in the middle?

Image and post Camp Shutter Sisters story courtesy of the awesome Wendy Tienken.

When There Are No Words

I received a text that my best friend was in the hospital, a text that was not unexpected.  Within 24 hours, her core group of girlfriends, myself included, fill her hospital room.  At times serious, we discuss chemo and medical procedures and pain management.  At times funny, we talk about some of our best times together, our laughter so hysterical and loud that a nurse comes to the room and closes the door.  My girlfriends know and expect that my camera is with me.  It's my security blanket, my safety net.  When I can't find the words to speak, I let me camera do the talking for me.  When a hand reaches out and takes a hand resting on the hospital bed, I lift my camera and quickly take a shot.  With a lump in my throat, I know this photo speaks all that I or my friends cannot speak and without a doubt, we will cherish it forever.

Today, show us those special photos that do the talking for you.  We'd love to *hear* what they have to say.

Thankful.

It was about 17 years ago, I don't remember exactly.  My brother and dad together one afternoon and me, using my brother's old high school camera, a Pentax K1000 (which I still have).  My dad and I had not spoken in many years and had only recently begun speaking again after my brother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.  It was an akward moment for me but I had my camera and that was my safety net.  Always has been, probably always will be.  I developed the film in a B&W photo class I was taking at a junior college the next day and I remember being so displeased with the quality of the photo.  I didn't like the lighting, the contrast wasn't perfect, etc.  I tossed it aside and forgot all about it.  That is until last week, when in the middle of going through some old things, I came across it again.  My heart did a little flutter as I looked closely at the photo. I notice my dad's long, weathered hands and the way he's looking directly at me, his expression a little unsure maybe?  And then I smile as I notice my brother trying to be Mr. GQ.  Not only does the photo not seem so bad to me now, I'm so very thankful that I kept it because 3 years after this photo was taken, I lost my brother to cancer. A short 3 years after my brother passed, I lost my dad.

Now, when I have those moments (and I do) and I wonder if photography is really what I'm meant to do or I start questioning my own self-confidence with it all (which I also do), I look at this photo and I know...a camera most definitely belongs in my hands. 

How about you? What was your 'aha' moment or photo? Please, do share.