support

Every now and then, I get to meet with a very good friend for lunch.  We talk a mile a minute because our time is limited and we are desperate to get caught up on what has happened since our last meeting.  On one such occasion, minutes before we parted, I said to her, “You know, it really bothers me when people tell me how lucky I am.  I find it to be a backhanded compliment.”

It’s not that I don’t believe in luck.  Maybe it’s better to say that when something unexpected and totally awesome occurs, I will acknowledge how fortunate it is to have happened.  Whether it is an act of God, Karma, a guardian angel, or a little fairy following me around with some pixie dust, I will give thanks for my blessings.  But that isn’t what I was referring to when I made that statement to her.  I was referring to the fact that I have worked hard to get where I am today and it shouldn’t be written off as luck; rather setting and visualize goals and working hard to achieve them.

Perhaps the biggest part of that statement that bothers me is the implication that my life has been nothing but rainbows and butterflies.  My life has been filled with ups and downs just like the next guy but I don’t complain about it or wish that it was any other way.  It is important to maintain a balance, be honest about where you are on your own personal roller coaster (down or up, it doesn’t matter. It’s your ride, after all), and try to use the force of the current to your advantage instead of fighting against it.  Above all else, it is essential to create and maintain a support system that will guide you through both highs and lows.

Like any other precautionary measure or defense system that is put into place, your support won’t be tested until it is put under pressure.  When you are facing one of life’s challenges - depression, sadness, loss, stress, etc. - you will find that some of your support falters.  That’s ok.  You will find that some things that you didn’t even know you had will rise up to the challenge.  Your camera, bumping into a friend that you hadn’t seen in years, your companion/husband/wife/lover, a volunteer in your garden, repetition in your knitting, the warmth of your tea (or coffee - you know who you are), sleep at the end of the day, a stranger smiling at you in passing – something or someone will be there for you if you have a support system in place and you are open to the guidance around you.

I hope you will join me in supporting those who need a little love, happiness, understanding, encouragement, and hope over at You Are Not Alone.  The site is still very young, but along with the group pool on Flickr, there will be plenty of chances to contribute if you are interested.  Though designed specifically with those suffering from Post Pardum Depression in mind, anyone is welcome.  Just think, you could turn someone’s day around!  And if you are the one in need, be sure to check the blog and group pool often for your Daily Dose of support.

Image and words courtesy of Meg Fahrenbach aka the delicious Tea & Brie.

Hanging onto our Reminders

In my office, there is a string of very random photos that trail across the windows. I call them "My Reminders."

Each photo is one that bring me back to a time or place that helped me to remember who I really am, and what really matters.

During one of the most difficult times in my life, a very beautiful family took me to their home in Italy. Prior to going I was barely making it out of bed and existing on a diet of smokes and coffee. But they rescued me and gave me this trip of a lifetime. I was surrounded by kindness, beauty, art, music, mountains, and all the magic of the Tuscan countryside. And the food! ~Lets just say I learned the art of dining and enjoying meals created with romance and with love. Impossible for me to explain my time there, but it somehow rescued me...

This was the very last photo I took. It's funny, because it was taken in the garage, just as I was getting in the car to head for the airport.

But I remembered thinking at that moment, "I cannot return to my old life.

I am committing to start living and enjoying the second half." I made that promise at that very spot.

This is one of the photos which hangs along the windows, and I find when I am entering a funk or a negative pattern of thinking, all it takes is a look at that shot, to remind me and return me to center.

Sometimes our most valued photos are not the ones that will make sense to anyone, or get any kind of attention....But those special shots carry incredible worth if they remind you what really matters in life...

I wonder if you have a photo that may not mean anything to anyone but you...

Lets keep those shots around to keep us focused on caring for our hearts. And of course, if you'd like to share it today, we'd be happy to see it.

Image and words courtesy of Jen Gray. A dear friend and a true talent.

collective prayer

With the heartbreaking news from Haiti this week, I thought I'd invite the sisterhood to join me on a collective prayer.

Please post your images of candles, flowers, offerings and good wishes. I really believe in the power of community prayer and I hope that together, our intentions can bring some hope and relief to those who are displaced, hurt, experiencing fear, thirst and loss... 

Let's join forces and use our Photography to send love to the people of Haiti today.

A picture really is worth a thousand words

My camera is always with me, quite literally, through the good times and the bad times.  Like everyone, I photograph my vacations or my family and friends, but I also photograph events that aren’t always so pleasant.  When my son, who has chronic lung disease, contracted the dreaded Swine Flu last October, my camera was with me.  There’s nothing worse than seeing your child, or any loved one for that matter, so critically ill and not being able to make it better.  The only thing I had complete control over was my camera, so through my lens I documented what was occurring.  It helped me tremendously but more importantly, as my son became better it helped him, too.  I let him take pictures which gave him a sense of control.  He took pictures of his nurses and doctors and of the medicine that he had to take; I took pictures of him and tried to use my photography to say for me what I could not put into words.  I didn’t know how people would react to my pictures of that event, but after viewing them a friend’s words said it best for me, you have such a gift for explaining emotion through your photography.  It was then that I realized that was exactly what I was trying to do.

Not all photographs have to be of such a serious event for us to experience the emotion of the moment.  Please share with us those photos of yours that strike a chord of emotion in you.  We’d love to see them.

cool, refreshing clarity

Last year around this time I was fortunate enough to attend Karen Maezen Miller's Mother's Plunge. The day was full of all those fundamentally important elements that stood as symbols for how I want to live my life; reminders to breathe, trusted friends, beautiful surroundings, meandering down paths and around gardens, wise words, my camera, yoga, good food, gentle guidance, discoveries, epiphanies, new friends and more reminders to breathe. It was one of those kinds of days that I won't soon forget. Memories I carry in my back pocket and pull out when I need them most.

One of the many beauties of having a friend like Karen is that no matter the subject, no matter the means of communication between us, she always manages to slip in exactly what I need to hear. Through a simple comment on my Facebook page or blog, a phone call or an email, she's armed with that knowing and offers it lovingly and generously.

The other day a simple line in her email awakened me; ...that's what wisdom is: clarity.

A simple statement. A reminder. A nudge. A splash of refreshing truth. My One Little Word this year is 'deliberate'. So, I ask, did I think I could be deliberate without clarity? I think I've inadvertently tried to avoid it. But, now I have it in writing and thanks to one Zen Momma, I've heard the message, loud and clear.

Any wake up calls for you lately? Have you been sent a message to heed? A mission to accomplish? A lake to plunge into? Do tell.

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I encourage you to experience the Mother's Plunge for yourself if your whereabouts allow (no, you really don't have to be a mother to attend, I promise). Check out the soon-coming dates of the Plunge that might just be in your neck of the woods. A day with Karen is a perfect way to spend a day, let me tell you.

And for more insights and wisdom, Karen's latest book Hand Wash Cold is available for pre-order! Just listen to this excerpt for a little splash.