what if?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about mortality. Namely, my own. I’m not going to get morbid and depressing about it, I promise. But since my mind has been wandering amidst the what-ifs, I’ve decided to try being quiet with these inevitable thoughts (and yes, fears) and listen to what the angels are saying. You know, the ones that gently glide by beckoning the big questions;

Are you doing what’s important? Are you living your best life? Are you spending time on what matters most?

I think we would all like to answer yes but sometimes we just aren’t doing the things that matter, as we are clouded by daily demands. It’s the way it goes. But then there are the reminders that lift us from our fog, stories that stir our souls awake, or circumstances and situations that bring the big picture back into focus.

Jen Balantine’s question has been ringing in my ears and instead of leaving my list on paper, I’ve decided to begin to make a dent in it. I want to make a deliberate schedule to fit in the things that matter most; the things that I would do if I had only a few months to live. I plan on making a priority getting all the wonderful photos and stories of my children’s lives off of the computer and organized and into books and memory boxes. I want to create for my girls something tangible to hold onto, to look through, to remind them of their life growing up in our family. Growing up with me. I want them to know (even beyond the knowing that they will always carry with them) that I was here, that I am here, in living color. Everyday. Giving baths, braiding hair, sewing buttons on pants, dancing in the living room, making projects and school lunches, going on field trips and adventure walks and taking pictures. I plan to take time out to do the things I want to do…for me and for them. I’m considering it my date night with destiny. As simple as it may seem, this is what I would do if I knew I only had a few months to live so, I’m going to start doing it now. And I know I’m going to love doing it.

How about you? What would you do? And are you willing to start doing it now?

Thanks to all of you who offered hope through your beautiful images for the auction. The proceeds will be helping Jen and her son as she  faces days ahead that seem to keep getting tougher for her. The auction is up and running so head over and bid on your favorite things. Be sure to click on the item you have your eye on to get more info on the object or photo and the person behind it. It makes it that much more special. Thanks again. You are all incredible.

a thousand words

There's something about the notion of taking a photograph every day that I find interesting. Last year, I was  in love with this collection of mornings ,(now evenings). I want to get back into the habit of noticing. Not because the light is right. Or because she's-growing-so-fast-and-I-better. I want to have a reason to just shoot whatever catches my eye. So, I've started taking (at least) a photograph per day. Not for work. And not like vitamins. I'm not going to make a big deal rule out of it. No certain ways. And the photo doesn't even have to be "good". Because I don't know about you, but sometimes I just want to capture the moment. Quickly, maybe out of focus. Whatever. Just something so that when I look back on it, I will remember that moment in all it's flawed perfection. When you shoot photographs for a living, you get into a nasty habit of only doing it for a living. So this is where I'm starting, with my little collection of snap shots that were taken over the past few days. I like the idea that each day is important enough to have its portrait taken. Want to join me?

reflect, remember, recycle

I think this is quite possibly a blog crime, but I have opted today not to write a new post but instead, encourage you to read a post I wrote back in December. Gasp.

See, us Sisters wrote posts for this blog before we officially launched so there are some treasures back there in the archives that have barely seen the light of day. That plus this being Earth Day and all, makes me feel OK about recycling.

So, why this particular post? I just think that all sisters of the shutter can use a little encouragement now and again, to keep on keepin’ on; vigilant family historians, cameras at the ready, tirelessly lugging around the extra weight of the glass/plastic/metal that is our creative tool, even amidst the criticism of others—

When are you going to put that camera down?

Mom! No more pictures! 

You’re not taking your camera, are you?

Today, I want all of us to remember that our work as Shutter Sisters IS significant.  Can I get an amen?

bits and bobs

When he's in his highchair I can't resist: my hands find their way underneath to squeeze his legs, my nose to his nose as he wracks in giggles, squeals in my ear.

Three months premature and just two pounds when he was born, his first shoes are a size three, newborn-sized. He's two weeks shy of his first birthday.

As adorable as they may be, full-term babies are comically enormous to me now, linebackers. Under the cuff of these pants I can feel his calf between forefinger and thumb, his skin chilly there as it always is, skin soft, mine. I could look at this photo in fifty years and have that sensation as clear as today.

Someday he'll be a man, hardened and fuzzy all over, muscled and definitive both in personality and stride. And I'll remember him as he was, lying in humid incubation next to his mirror-brother, waiting for life to begin.

+++++

Baby-feet, lover-torso, sisters holding hands. Show us piecemeal photography today, will you?

Get Silly

When was the last time you got silly? This weekend, get outside. Walk around the block with no shoes on. Pick flowers out of your neighbors' yards and wear them in your hair. Let your kids stay up past their bedtime. Build a fort on your couch with sheets and pillows. Make up silly lyrics to your favorite songs. Watch a scary movie with all of the lights off. Do cartwheels and spin in circles until you fall down.

And don't forget to take pictures.