The Bottom of Everything

The bottom of everything is love.

That's what I thought to myself while she cried, while I cried, while we argued about everything without ever touching the real thing. That her heart was hurting from an old wound. That she was counting on me and I was counting on her and that we had let each other down when it mattered the very most.

We won't talk about this again. Ever. Can we agree on that?

I shrug. Sure. Whatever. We can talk or not talk but the truth is it is still here, this sadness, this fierce love, this beautiful tension between what we hope for and the way it is.

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The bottom of everything is grief.

That's what I thought to myself when he smiled, when he had tried to explain over Thanksgiving dinner how they met in Beijing without making her sound too much like a mail-order bride. It's wasn't like that at all, his eyes told me, but there was no need to explain. He had found her, and something in his heart instantly mended. I could see it all over her face.

How old do you think they are?  Fatou asked, motioning to our guests--the man and his not-a-mail-order-bride, the lovely Chinese woman in the fantastic red jacket.

I have no idea, I told her. But they have that kind of happiness that comes from understanding what it means to be sad. The kind of gratitude that comes after thinking for so long you would always be alone.

+++++++++++++++++++++

These are the stories I think about later, looking at the shots of everyone's hands and that red jacket, shining in every picture.

These are the stories I think about when I want to get to the bottom of everything, when I wonder if grief will wreck us, when I wonder if love can truly be more than enough, when I want to know what it is exactly that will make our souls whole.

Leave a comment below and today's lovely giveaway winner will receive:

a collection of TRUST notes and a donation made to this project in the name of someone you love. We'll send a lovely card announcing your donation to whomever you choose.

Congratulations to Kristina of Meadowlark Days for winning yesterday's giveaway--artwork by Amy Ruppel.  Lucky lady.

Comments

[Elaine]

I do believe love is at the bottom of everything but because it is, I no longer fear grief the way I once did.

Thank you, Jen.

[Bridge]

this is a beautiful post, love is hard to put into words.

[JachiCue]

this made me smile/cry. Thank you for sharing.

[shannon]

wow....beautiful story. what a wonderful, wonderful post.

[HappyHourMom]

'The bottom of everything is love" is how I choose to think of things.
The photo, after reading the post is stirring. Thanks Jen~

[Julie Alvarez]

I loved the words, and I love the picture. So colorful, but telling a story, not in the way a cartoon would be colorful (sorry for my lousy english here...).
Thanks for sharing.

[sammie]

wonderful

[mel]

Oh, Jen, I've been so inspired by you and hope revolution and your sister (kindness girl)... inspired enough to leave my own little notes around the city and on the buses. These little notes are beautiful. And the sister-story you share with Odette is beautiful, too.

[Caroline]

Letting go of old slights - and old major, major heartbreaks - is one of the most difficult lessons in life, I think. I once told a wise woman that I could forgive something of y then-partner, but I would never forget. She told me that would be impossible, that one could never happen without the other.

[marty]

this beautiful tension between what we hope for and the way it is

It's that beautiful tension that keeps us loving despite the grief...and the grief is what makes the loving all the sweeter

[Jennifer]

What an amazing story!

[Lani]

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!
You all are the best!

[Mary]

shoot...looks like i missed the marvelous birds...i'll try for the notes.

[Stacey]

Absolutely beautiful.

[Lila]

You made me cry....sigh!

[Jamie-o-e-e]

Thank you for this post.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrs-eaves/3081560080/

[stacy kathryn]

What beautiful words, and love behind it all!

[Marcene]

Thanks for sharing that. You do have a great "voice"!

[tiffany]

Beautiful.

[A Heath]

I had a moment exactly like this in a coffee/book store with a friend who was grieving over the loss of her mother earlier today. Hands touching next to warm cups of coffee and of course, the cell phone on the table...our image exactly.

[Toni]

I LOVE THOSE CARDS. I saw them on Etsy and fell in love.

[Lisa]

Great post. We all need to feel love. Give love. Be loved — unconditionally.

[melody is slurping life]

Beautiful.

Thank you.

[Wendy]

How "to make our souls whole" -- that in itself will give us all pause... Lovely post.

[Tina]

What a lovely story. Thank you so much.

[kazari]

Fierce love. That phrase always stands out for me. We can only grieve for what we love, and love is fiercest when we have to fight for it.
Thankyou

[crystine]

love and grief.
2 rivers leading to the sea.

[Deanna]

What a great post. Thank you for sharing

[anna]

grief, love and the small piece that lies between them...
life, being present, feeling whatever comes along

[Shalet]

They look happy. Truly truly happy. Who could ask for anything more?

[Anna]

So simple... and so deep ...

How many hearts would not be broken if we learn to talk out what is in the bottom of our heart instead of "arguing about everything".

[Sebrina]

What a lovely entry! And so very true!

[Mrs. B.]

Just found your blog and it's just amazing!

[Christy]

Beautiful post and pic.

[Beth]

Such wonderful words. I know this, too -- this sadness, this fierce love, this beautiful tension. There is something to be said for the wisdom garnered through grief. Often it leads to greater joys, deeper loves. Thank you.

[Meri]

Grief, Love and Life walk hand in hand.