Appetite

In the past year I’ve gone from hungry to satiated; in my daily life, my career, my outlook, etc. And now that I am where I am (which is right where I’m supposed to be) I am hungry again. Voracious even. But, swinging the pendulum back, I am totally satisfied with my life as it is. Right now.

A friend and I tried to tackle this idea this past weekend; of having a grateful heart, being totally present and content with the way things are while at the same time craving more.

I know the two ways of being might seem contradictory but I don’t think they have to be. I have recently shared over on the the I am Enough Collaborative, that I have come to the place in my life where I am good with who I am (it still amazes me that after 40 years of trying to internalize that, it can be stated in such a short and sweet sentence). But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop dreaming. I’ve got an appetite for living my best life. And yet, in the same breath I know that exactly how things are right now, and who I am is enough, which makes any angst of what ‘could be’ or what desires I have for the future vanish.

In other words, I’m licking my chops looking forward to the future and all the good things that will be stacked on my plate but those things aren’t needed to feed my self-worth. That isn’t the part of me that’s hungry anymore. Therein lies the difference of my past and my present and in turn, my future.

So, do you see the two sides co-existing?  How do you live contented in the present while you dream big for the future and still remain centered?

I think it’s all in how you look at it—is it me or does it always, always come down to perspective?

Comments

[Marcie]

Perhaps - the new perspective..the one that you've arrived at where you accept yourself 'as enough' but still hungry - is one of self-acceptance. I've shared some of my thoughts - different..but similar - over at Vision and Verb:
http://visionandverb.com/2010/05/my-space/

[Toni | Daily Vignette]

Excellent post, Tracey, and I'm really surprised there isn't more discussion. Where you are is exactly where I am, so I can completely and totally relate and understand that which you've said. Do I want more? Yes. Am I content with what I have? Yes. The only person determining my self worth is me and I'm perfectly happy with who I am. =)

[Katrina Kennedy]

What a lovely discussion it must have been. I do understand the juxtaposition of the two emotionally if not intellectually. I think I live knowing I have what I want and need in my life, but knowing that the world often works towards entropy, so I must do more to maintain that feeling of present satisfaction.

[xanthe]

so inspiring. im working on reaching this place. "i am enough" is hard to say, but i'm working on it. thank you for this x.

[Yong C. Lee]

Great post. I struggle with this a lot: I LOVE being hungry, striving for more. But being attuned to that drive often takes perspective away from the positives in your life, the stuff that makes you happy <i>now</i>.

I'm happy that you've found that balance...I also like how you went from being hungry, to satiated, back to being hungry. Maybe you're just ready for more, while enjoying the view from your hard-won current perch?

[maile]

yes, yes, YES. Love this.

[mindy]

i think this will be an ongoing push for me. discovering and remembering that i am enough. i am worthy.

but i am eternally thankful for the "i am enough"collaborative because you ladies have given me the tools to find myself. love myself and know that i am enough.

i tend to take too much onto myself. then i feel rejected, even if that isn't the intention of the other party (mostly my hubby). i take things so personally. this is my cross to bare and one that i must get out from under.

it's a daily grind, but one that i am more than happy to put my nose to. there is no better feeling than feeling like i am enough and i am worthy. it literally makes me feel like i glow.

and it's made a difference in my life. it keeps me coming back for more ;)

[Julia]

Inspiring. New. Creative. :P

[Valerie]

I am in a Mindful Mothering group and find this helps me appreciate the world around me, slow down enough to be calm in crises large and small, and build satisfying goals. It is an untidy process, yet a rich and exciting one.

For me, I prefer the image of a hilly landscape or perhaps waves in the sea. As you move across, you are going forward even as you are going up and down. Does it matter what image you choose? I guess I'd rather not feel I'm just going back and forth like a pendulum, covering the same ground. :o) Don't know if that helps.

[Vanessa]

I quite love the build-up, the path, the steady plodding along... the pursuit of contentment -not necessarily success (but hopefully fulfilment)- and enjoying that very thing: the 'pursuit' itself... the place where the present rubs shoulders with the future and revels in the endless possibilities. What is perhaps hardest for me, though, is adapting my pace and my path to accommodate my loved ones... balancing my emotions and feelings of contentment whilst also feeling responsible for securing a happy balance for a whole bundle of other people. Struggling with frustration. Wondering “if this is enough for me... why is it not enough for them”. Always veering away from the affirmation “I am enough” towards the question... “am I enough?”, and getting lost in the always disappointing (if not downright impossible)'... “will I ever be enough FOR THEM?”.
Thank you, Tracey, for reminding me today that I have a choice... I can choose to shift my perspective. I can bite off one piece at a time. I can make it more doable. And if I feel centred and balanced, it might just rub off on those around me.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vanessa_r/4633147971/

[ajira]

My son reminds me daily to live in this moment, and simultaneously inspires me to be more, do more, get more... does that make sense? I was working on both before he was even a twinkle in my eye but I think I forgot more often than I do now that he's here. I want more for myself so that I can be more myself, you know? I want to model a way of being and doing for him. I don't want to be someone who just talks while doing something completely different. I want to walk the walk too.

[Debbie E]

I think for me,I crave knowledge. I want to learn,crafts,going back to college, whatever I can. I love to read.Learn,grow. Once I stop,ill know im dead ;) I balance it all with the demands of single mother hood and keeping my head a little in the clouds with keeping my feet grounded to reality. Life is what you make of it I think, I plan to make it an adventure!!

[renee]

I love this post. This is where I try to live my life every day, content for what I have at this very moment, but always reaching for more - not grabbing at or pining for, but just stretching and reaching, pushing to grow, but without strain.
I have sent this post on to a few others who I think are there too (unfortunately, the ones who aren't tend to think we are a wee bit crazy!)
And yes, I think that it is ALL about perspective. I often find myself wondering why it is that I am so much more blessed than those around me, then I realize, it is not that I HAVE a better life, it is that I BELIEVE I have the better life.

[Lisa]

You've put this so eloquently. Thank you! <3

[Mary]

Thank you for this post, Tracey. As always, it comes at the perfect time.

[katherine center]

Love this! Just posted on my FB page! One of the big questions in my life these days!