solitude and ritual

 

As parents, it is often difficult to find time for yourself when work, family, and everything but YOU seem to come first. I am sure that I am not alone in saying that when a rare moment of solitude finally does present itself... I feel, well, a bit selfish. My mind races with all the things I should be doing.

Recently, I found the cure for my self-imposed guilt.  I schedule "me time" into my day.  Since quality time must first be found to be cherished, it now goes on the calendar, along with client appointments, vet appointments, and picking up dirty socks.  As I proceed through my day, checking off my to-do list, I work my way towards my personal time knowing that I have "earned" it.

It is in these moments that I savor my daily rituals. The personal activities in life that are just for me.  Even the most stressful of days can be salvaged by the simple act of lighting a candle, hiding in the corner with a good book, and savoring a cup of tea.

Today, I invite you to share some the quieter moments from your day with us.

Comments

[Marcie]

My 'me' time is spent out in the world meandering with my camera. Where there's no one else and other than 'me'.
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/7/26/pretty-painted-lady.html
It makes my day!

[Chantal]

On the couch with a book and some tea:

http://chantaliaans.aminus3.com/portfolio/4.html

[marina]

in a park, with my camera
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mar_s/5980459982/in/set-72157627291848954/lightbox/
when I focus on what I see through my camera I tend to forget about a lot of the hustle and bustle of the everyday.
I love the colours in your photo, Tammy, they make your quiet moment seem a very joyful one.

[Kathryn Dyche Dechairo]

Those quiet moments come for me when I walk in nature or sit in our sunroom with a cup of tea watching the sunrise.

[koreen]

It's funny how many people are saying wandering around with a camera! I'm no exception. To either occupation: clicking, or sipping tea looking out the window at a beautiful sunrise.

http://winnswindow.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-little-butterfly.html

[Jen]

oooh, I love Gone with the Wind. With a 15-month old running around, I really do value my "me" time. I got some the other weekend when I set out early in the morning with my camera in hand. I don't have as much time to do this anymore and I cherished it that much more.

http://www.jenniferkrafchik.com/2011/07/rock-hall-sunflowers.htm

[Kim Klassen]

oh how i love quiet moments.... 'sigh'...... beautiful

[Puna]

I had many quiet moments on my friend's deck, looking to her beautiful view while on vacation last week.

http://lifesignatures.org/wordpress/2011/07/the-many-faces-of-thumb-butte/

[aia]

nice reminder. i don't do this enough!

[Leslie]

I just posted about this too! It's so important to relax:
http://lesliedf.squarespace.com/writing/2011/7/22/happy-friday-dont-do-it-all-instead-relax.html

[rakusribut]

my most quiet and personal time is at the end of the day (usually in the middle of the night, i tend to stay up too long, not wanting the day to finish 'cause there' s still soooo much to do....)
i go out with my dogs in the dark and everything is quiet and silent, only natural sounds reach my ear (wind, water, rustling leaves) the river is pitch black and all the houses are dark and i am alone
i love the reflections of the street lights in the water and on the pavement

http://www.flickr.com/photos/61760618@N08/5981468106/in/set-72157627280148320
http://www.flickr.com/photos/61760618@N08/5981439094/in/set-72157627162566747

[~Kristina]

While my "me" moments usually come in just before fading off to sleep, I do inhale every chance I get for one of these:
http://tinastree.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-summers-are-made-for.html

[stephb]

Because I'm with patients all day, my 'me' time means so much. I can sit for hours just listening and watching birds in my backyard. I love being in nature and enjoying God's creations. Capturing those images is even more thrilling!

[Barbara]

I grab my me time in the morning - if I wait till later, I may never get it!
http://barbarashallue.typepad.com/musing_in_long_hollow/2011/07/if-mornings-could-last-forever.html

[Danielle]

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I used to wonder why I was exhausted and frazzled after spending a weekend with my boys. Now I know it's because I didn't take time out for me to just sit in silence or relax a bit. I was living in a constant state of action and sometimes tension and my body never had a chance to unwind.

I have a question for you though, when you do take advantage of some "me" time, where are your kids? Do you wait until they're asleep? Or wait for your husband to come home? Sometimes I'm at a loss of how to actually create the "me" time. I can't seem to separate myself from the kids without them constantly coming to "check" on me.

[NatsterNat]

Coffee and a Crossword... that's how I spend my daily "me" time.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/58861148@N02/5981328101/in/photostream

[yzzilyzzid]

My favorite place to unwind and recharge - but only when it's not 100 degrees. ;)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/yzzilyzzid/5651963363

[rakusribut]

hi danielle
i am not a mom but i still want to answer your question
i live with 4 dogs, 2 cats and a disabled partner so i am in a similar situation when it comes to taking time for myself
what i used to do (and what i would like to reclaim for myself) is get up really, really early (like 5 or 6 a.m.) and then spend some time by myself in my own room, usually doing some writing, some graphic work on my computer (digital collages) or some other creative work. i' d set the alarm clock at 8 am and then start the rest of my day fully inspired and satisfied..... i miss that a lot, actually
i stopped doing this because my days somehow got longer and longer and my nights shorter and in the end i crashed and burned out completely
tried doing it the other way around (wait until everybody was asleep and then start to work on something creative) but that was a disaster, i was way too tired and uninspired by then
so now i am desperately trying to shorten my days in order to be able to get up earlier so i can have my ' me time' back again..... i know i need a minimum of 6 hours sleep every night so i know exactly at what time i should be in bed, but somehow i haven' t managed to do that yet....
anyway, i can heartily recommend claiming some 'me time' early in the morning, it can be a really rewarding, invigorating and inspiring start of your day...:-))

[Misty]

This is my favorite place to be. I wander endlessly. http://www.flickr.com/photos/dontforgetthehorse/5976431418/in/photostream

[Tammy Lee Bradley]

Danielle - I must say that as the kids get older this is easier to do. My "me time" quiet often is at 8pm or so. The kids and hubby have settled in for an hour or so of TV. I head to the bedroom with a book or a drawing pad and an audiobook. I find that earphones work wonderfully to eliminate interruptions, even when nothing is actually playing... they don't know and I am sure you all won't tell. ;)

[Lara White]

what a great post! I think we all need the reminder and the "permission" to take some time back for the quiet moments. I have a little balcony off our bedroom that I recently dragged a chair and table to, and have been sitting out there for a few moments at the end of the day. Summer is a busy season for me (wedding photographer) but in the winter I like to take Mondays off for reading and tea time.

[Lindsey]

So Important, my me time is right after I make everyone breakfast I grab my half a cup of cold coffee and hunker down with my phone for some met time.

[Jenny]

My 'me' time used to be early mornings on the weekends (as in 7.30) sitting on the back steps of my house having tea and reading the paper, or in the wintertime with a blanket curled up on the couch and lighting some candles, and waiting for my husband to wake at 9 or so. But now with a two-year-old waking me up at 6.30 (or earlier) somehow that isn't possible anymore. And since I've started working full time again I don't get that hour or two when the little one is sleeping during the day. 'Me' time doesn't come automatically, it isn't given to you, you have to take it, reclaim it, scheadule it! And make sure the rest of the family knows that the way to keep mom sane is to allow her to do that. So now I scheadule me time during the weekends when I get to do something creative, it could be grabbing the camera, doing some scrapbooking, planning my garden, or as it has been for the past few weeks, learning Photoshop with Kim Klassen. So here's one I've been working on:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennyspictureshow/5937616885/in/photostream

[Val @ Mental Chew]

Oddly enough, my me time happens behind my camera or working on my blog. My son and I were having some difficult 4 year old vs. Mom moments so I made the following happen so I could recap and feel good at the end of the day, even though it was a horrific morning.

http://www.mental-chew.com/2011/07/transitions-and-lorax.html

The other way I get me time is by crawling the Internet for good recipes or gardening. My pride and joy this year are my onions. The first pic might just be one of my favorites from the summer.

http://www.mental-chew.com/2011/07/recipe-roundup-onions.html

[Val @ Mental Chew]

Ok, I have this post on my mind because it is my issue right now. 8 month old, 4 year old and wonderful, hardworking 6 day a week husband. As I took a shower tonight with a crying babe in my arms, I caught myself thinking about hot showers. Hot showers where I was alone. Hot showers where I was alone and I could choose whether or not I was going to shave my legs or leave the conditioner in a little longer. Hot showers are some really great me time. If you told me that 5 years ago, I would have laughed. Ha!