just be.

Take my hand and I will pull you through
The light is gone but I am still here with you
You are so far away thinkin’ you should roam
My arms are ready for you to come back home

Can you feel me, feel my reach?
Take it easy, honey, and just be.
from the song "The Reach" by Miranda Lee Richards 

When difficult/bad/sad things happen in my life, I have a system in place.  I acknowledge whatever the difficult/bad/sad thing is, shove it to the back of my mind into neat little compartments and go on my way. I've always done this and it's worked just fine.  This past year I've had more than my normal share of things occur and once again, I used my 'system' of dealing with everything and again, it's been working just fine...or so I thought.

While at Oasis, during a talk Kim Klassen and Xanthe Berkeley gave, Xanthe showed a video she had made for One Day on Earth.  I'd seen it before. Numerous times, in fact.  But on that day while I watched it again, one of my neat, little compartments that I had shoved to the back of my mind cracked open and I began to cry one of those ugly, snot-nosed cries (Thank you, Siobhan Wolf, for the use of your shoulder that day).

I realized at that moment that I had stopped enjoying the most simplest of things in my life and had essentially been just existing.  When I should have been celebrating all the little things in my life, I had been in a fog, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop, for the bad things to get worse.  But you know what?  That other shoe has not dropped and in watching that video made up of Xanthe's gorgeous photos celebrating everyday life, I had an 'aha' moment.  I realized that I could take what I had been shoving away, examine it a little closer, acknowledge it fully and then move on.  I was going to be okay. 

Thanksgiving is this week and my immediate family is no longer here.  This saddens me greatly and once again I put my famous system back into place just like I've always had, but this morning while looking for something in my desk I came across a photo of my brother and grandmother, both of them tucked together in the very back of my desk drawer. I held them in my hand looking from one to another and at that moment, I let myself just be.  I cried a little, but at the same time I knew that I was meant to find those photos.  My brother has been gone 13 years and my grandmother 3 years. I'll celebrate them this week and remember them lovingly, making their favorite Thanksgiving dishes to share with my husband and my boys and tell them stories of holidays past and when the day is done, I'll feel blessed and full of love for all that I have...and just be. 

Today, share with us those photos that move you and in celebrating the holiday this week remember to give thanks...and to just be.  

Comments

[kathy]

http://youllshootyoureyeout-kathy.blogspot.com/2012/11/thankful.html

Can't believe I made my post on my blog and then came here to see this. I SWEAR...I didn't know :). Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)

[xanthe]

This is beautiful Chris x.

[Olivia]

Beautiful post today. I am so glad you found those photos. I cannot tell how sad it when you lose them, as I did last summer. They were destroyed on a house fire. At least I can begin a new set and new snapshots of everyday life.

[Diane M. Schuller]

Chris that is so beautiful. Wishing you lots of "being" this Thanksgiving

[Holly {Soupatraveler}]

Oh Chris, what a beautiful post. It's funny how we can compartmentalize things but then one day they all come back to bite us in the butt! I'm glad you're finding a way to look back on the wonderful moments and focus on the little things that are happening in the here and now. xoxo

[Kristina]

Beautiful post..thank you for sharing. xoxo

[Kris M]

Thank you, Chris. This is just what I needed today. XOXO my friend!

[melody]

Chris,

Beautifully written heartfelt and healing words. Thank you. May each of us "just be" this Thanksgiving Day.

[Roban]

Those are beautiful photos. How wonderful that you can acknowledge your loved ones' memories fully this week.

[Siobhan Wolf]

Oh, Chris, this is so touching, so tender. I'm glad you have allowed those compartments to open. So often we stand at their doors and push back. It takes courage to just be. Wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving. That shoulder is always there when you need it.

[peggy from Pa]

You touched my heart with that post. As we get older we realize how much the people we lost had meant to us and how we should cherish each small moment that we have with them. When we were young we were so self involved. I miss those who have passed on and would give anything to have one tiny piece of time with them again.