Authentic

This is a shot taken from my first senior portrait shoot of the season. It started out the same way they all do. With me wondering if my clients think my minivan makes me uncreative. And with my clients wondering if I'm going to make them sit on a bail of hay and say "NUT BALLS". Kellye made it clear in an email to me beforehand when she said "I just don't want to look uber-cheesy". It was her way of saying  "make me look good". After fifteen years of shooting, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. And it's understandable. In all honesty, it's also easy part. Looking good is just about light, and posing and angles. It's about stuff that can be packaged up into a nice formula.

What can't be packaged up, is what my clients are really saying, which is: "Make me look good, and make me look like myself". This is the challenge. Because it's hard to find the real parts of a person when you don't know them. If you're looking for something real, you must be willing to be vulnerable too. Even then, the real parts of a person might still remain illusive. And that's okay. I've gone through many successful photo shoots, positioning people in pretty light, making them "look good". And it's enough. As an observer/photographer/human being, it's a rush when authenticity happens. But as it is in every day living, you never know when it will.

And that's how this shoot went. We started off posing. The light was as beautiful as she was (is). And it was fine. Then she got out her gi and her sword. And the girl who'd been politely smiling and posing, turned into a Force of Nature. Something in her eyes showed up, that was all her own. A Black Belt in Karate, she turned a sword fight into a dance. And I was completely mesmerized by her transformation. I realized that this was her Art. This was what made her feel most like her Self, and I felt privileged to capture it. It also made me think about how we all have that Thing that makes us feel like our Selves. Whether it's baking a cake, or writing stories, organizing drawers, or delivering babies...there is something that makes us feel at home. It's the part of you that that has always been there. The part that you don't question. What is that part for you?

Comments

[Chasity Furse]

i love this. ya know what i love the most? that you capitalized "Art" and "Self". i love it because before i even saw your name at the bottom I KNEW you were talking. i love this because it is so true, you can only be yourself when you are truly vulnerable and free from the rules of self restraint. good stuff here girl.

[Shelli]

I enjoyed reading this post so much. Gorgeous photo too. We all have that Something don't we? For me it's writing. I've wanted to write since I was a little girl, and though I've written so much, I don't think I really started writing until I began my blog. Something about writing on a regular basis really kick-started my self-discipline. Now I'm writing a new novel. I feel like I've finally come home.

[Al]

For some reason, the combination of that photograph and your text brought me goosebumps and got tears in my eyes. It was a magical, energetic "rush" that disappeared as magically as it had escalated.

This is an issue that I have been wondering a lot lately - what things I like doing the most, and when do I feel like myself without being trapped by any boundaries. So far, definite answers for me would be singing, writing, running, baking, reading - as well as cleaning my kitchen :-). The reason why I'm so emotional when it comes to this issue is that I feel like I haven't yet found a way to really use my potential fully in any of the activities mentioned above. I've had moments of great inspiration, joy and self-accomplishment, but they have been glimpses of something far greater that lies within. My next personal goal is to find a way to feel at home on a constant basis. That might do the trick for me as well.

[Jen - Beebee Mod]

Yes, I love this post. It is true. To find that balance between taking a picture and capturing life. Many times it is not what we think. And those are the best pictures.

[Maya]

There's something so powerful about capturing someone in THEIR element not in ours. Love it Maile!

[Angela Giles Klocke]

I too love this post. I have spent too much of my life not being who I really am. Seeking to be, sometimes privately being, but not out loud, not fully.

[Michelle Potter]

You know, sometimes posts like this one make me realize that I'd like to be on the other side of the lens sometimes, too. It's great fun to capture the essence of someone else, but I think I'd like to have someone do that for me.

[Jonny's momm]

I find it unfair you are such an amazing photographer and an excellent writer as well. Not fair that one should have so much talent.

Love your web site...

[Jonny's mommy]

that should have been Jonny's mommy..left the 'y' off

[Kelly]

I have tears in my eyes reading this today. Because sometimes, you don't have physical proof of Your "Self". And honestly it's a feeling that I think most moms have. I think that what comes the most easily to you gets overlooked as not being a gift, or you push it aside thinking,'no that can't be what I'm good at! I want that over there.' To me, the best gift I can get is a child understanding teaching...you may not see what you have planted for years, but instant gratification never works. (Except if you're buying shoes!) :)

[Green Eyed Girl]

That is such a beautiful picture! And such a true post!!

[natala]

I love this so much. I wish that I could let myself be free and wild, the way I imagine myself in my own mind. one day...

[cathy walters]

Maile, this is the best article! And SO true! And I really want to see the pics of her in her gi. :)

[I Must Confess]

I like how the pictures are so crisp and fresh...do you use photoshop on it?

I haven't tried it but I'm thinking about getting one. I just love how they're so attractive to look at.

[Stacy]

Love that shot!

Hmmm...my authentic me is just that creative part. Be it photography, designing/making clothes, drawing...I just enjoying "creating" something unique and beautiful.

[Kaili]

Hi, a friendly delurker here.
Love this blog! Love the photos! Love this post, I would also love to see pictures of her and her sword, sounds so cool!
Keep it up!

[Anali]

I love this picture and your words. We all want to be seen for who we truly are. Our eyes tells a lot of it. And smiles do too. It makes me wonder that picture would be for me - that would really get to my essence. I'm not sure, but you certainly captured her spirit here.

[Marcie]

Both your words and your image speak to the power of capturing true spirit. A beautiful photo of a beautiful girl - both inside and out. Only your words do justice to it.

[jenn]

:) Beautiful post and photo.

Being a long time martial arts student who owns a sword, you captured the emotion of it in words very well. I would love to see more of those pictures, though I know it would likely leave me coveting some of my own.

[Milla]

beautiful post. The picture, your thoughts, everything! Thank you!

[Lawyer Mama]

LOVE the photo. I'm betting she did too.

It's hard for me to be authentic. I think I've spent most of my life hiding who I am. But the real me, comes across in my writing and, I'd like to think, sometimes in my photos.

I'm going to have to blog about this myself now!

[Ma']

It's my girls. My girls make me feel like my truest Self.

[melody]

Beautiful portrait.

We are each packaged individually...we should grab that individuality with a passion and flaunt it. When we do...good things happen in the world.

love this post.

[Deborah]

Yes, yes, YES!

[tracey]

i just love this post AND the photo. i cannot stop looking at her! she is stunning and I can feel the power behind all that beauty.

[Tara]

What an incredible post! Looking at the photo made the writing all the more amazing. Her essence truly shines through in your art.

Your post has inspired me to think about the ways my self is expressed through my actions and my life. I believe my true self comes through as I teach my students in my classroom (I teach students with autism). I am at my best, my most essential self, when I am working with these wonderful kids. I wish I had a talented photographer there to capture those moments... they would be beautiful to see.

I love your site! I visit often... always such wonder to be found here!