Carpe Diem

Since I am primarily a documentary photographer, my subjects do not come to me of their own volition; I usually have to go out and discover them for myself.  For a person like me who is painfully shy, that means I often experience quite a bit of anxiety whenever I pull out my camera in public.  Sometimes, I get all self-conscious when I'm merely shooting the facade of a building and not even trying to shoot strangers. 

This happened to me a couple days ago when I was walking by an old dive bar/music venue that my husband and I had gone to when we were dating.  I took a few photos of the front of the building and was trying to get some shots through the window of the midday patrons sitting at the bar, when suddenly the door swung open, and an employee came out to have a smoke.  I immediately walked a few steps away, turned my back and pretended to be deeply engrossed in going through the photos on my camera.  I couldn't have been more obvious about trying to hide my photographic desires, but what happened next was still quite unexpected.

"Do you want to come in and take some photos of the inside?" asked the guy as he finished his smoke break.  I looked up from my camera, feeling my cheeks burn red, and answered, "Really??"

"Sure, c'mon in!"

Initially, my social anxiety almost won out, and I was about to decline.  I quickly realized, however, that I was being offered an unusual opportunity, and I shyly followed the man into the bar.  What I saw inside bathed in the glow of the wintry midafternoon light took my breath away.  From the dingy worn-out floors to the vibrant colors of the murals and decor, this was clearly not the nocturnal interior cloaked in the dimness of the too few incandescent lights that I had been familiar with.  Boy, was I glad I decided to seize the day instead of walking away.

What I realized from this experience was that I was more willing to shoot freely when someone else gave me permission to do so.  Well, what if what I really need is to give myself permission to keep my camera out in the open?  What would happen if the next time I'm in a public place where the irresistable images are just waiting for me to take them home, I gave myself permission to be not so fearful?  What if I simply took my camera out and started shooting?  What if I chose to seize the day EVERY day?  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't regret it.

I know {erin darcy photogrpahy}, {robin accidentally} and jeroldssis would agree.  How about you?  Please share with us your links to images that you seized from your day.

Comments

[Hay]

Wow, that is beautiful! I have much to learn in this respect.

[Dawn]

Good for you!
I am trying to remember that in all parts of my life...to be brave and go for what I want.
Thanks for the reminder~

[kosenrufu mama]

i love these moments...

http://esterdaphne.blogspot.com/2008/10/scuola-il-giorno-dopo.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23206424@N07/2991888027/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23206424@N07/2992738142/

[Chris]

As I'm reading this post, I'm thinking to myself, "Wow! That sounds just like me when I was at Union Station taking pictures!". Then to my surprise, I see you had my name as an example. Thank you for that validation which gives me only that much more courage to just go out and do it again. It was totally worth it, too. :)

[Marcie]

I can relate perfectly to your 'social anxiety'. Altho this was taken from the outside looking in..there were people inside who I was terrified might see what I was doing and think the worst of me for it:
http://marciescudderphotography.com/index.php?showimage=641

[Andree]

Boy oh boy, do I know that feeling! It only gets reinforced when I am reprimanded by someone: such as this past summer in NYC, I was in a stationary store and decided to take a shot of colorful paper gift bags hanging on the wall, when the store manager came right over and waved her pointed finger at me...gulp! On the other hand, I feel a sense of joy (with a tinge of smugness) when I pull it off ; ) Photography provides numerous excellent opportunities to push the envelope of ones' own level of confidence. I don't want to end up as an old woman and say to myself " I wish I had done X or Y but I was too scared to". I hope I strive to GROW into being an old woman, with albums of shots reminding me of that "smug" feeling!

[jfrancis]

History___unpolished,
as it should be.

[Jen]

I've been doing this more and it's hard. Most recently we went to dc and I shot some pictures of strangers. I love this shot I took from the hip of three women ice skating. They were holding hands and the shot was totally by chance in the slant and the fact it came out clear.

http://americana.visualblogging.com/archives/11454_1807447140/318587

[cindy k]

i'm very much the same way and consider myself to be a 'bashful photographer'. i feel better when my husband is with me, plus he makes sure i'm not knocked over since we live in nyc and there ares a lot of people. i always wonder if it's ok to take photos of people you don't know.

[sandi]

this summer I would walk by this antique/junk shop on my way home from work every day. There were always so many colorful and interesting things sitting outside.
Finally one day I went in and shyly ask the woman working there if I could take pictures outside of the items on the sidewalk.
She suprised me saying "no problem! go right ahead!"
So I did.. here are a couple...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sandis_art/3166659400/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sandis_art/3166659244/

[Shanarama]

To take a different angle on your tale, what a wonderful act of kindness that man displayed by inviting you in! And look what that small invitation brought upon you. Bravery, gratitude, a life lesson, and beautiful pictures held with your memories. I find his random act of kindness truly inspiring!

[Grey Street Girl]

I am super shy in this way too. My camera has helped though, but I have a long ways to go. And, I always keep this quote in my head:

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." Epictetus<---really old philosopher dude of some sort.

:)

[Jessica New]

I really LOVE that photograph!
Thank you for sharing your story & encouraging us to give ourselves permission!!

[shelli]

That's an awesome shot! What a nice guy to invite you in. I'm horribly shy too. I don't get out much, but when I do, I'll remember this post and try to be braver!

[maya | springtree road]

i often post pictures of the things i see on any particular day:

http://www.springtreeroad.com/springtreeroad/2009/01/whats-up-on-saturday.html

[Bonnie]

I am probably not shy enough :o)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bonniebythebay/3167007378/

[Kate Baumert]

http://happyinthehamptons.blogspot.com/2009/01/theres-something-about-new-restaurant.html

I've realized how inconspicuous my new NIKON D40 is - I can not longer bring out my little point and shoot digital. Last night I ate in a fancy restaurant and brought an extra large purse to fit my SLR in. It was well worth. I didn't eve care that the wait staff stared ;)

[Charlane]

I can completely identify with these feelings - both at feeling shy and chagrined at myself for not feeling more free with the camera. beautiful shot.

[trupeach]

i cannot thank you enough for this post. i had my camera with me yesterday while in a local bakery and saw so many things i wanted to shoot, but my camera stayed tucked away. i have no fear on the street, sometimes squatting or lying down to get a shot, but there's something about being indoors that makes me nervous. i will remember your story next time ...

[victoria winters]

I'm the same way. When I took a photography class in college we HAD to shoot strangers and it was some of the most nervous times I had. But well worth it. I need to challenge myself and do it again. Lovely shot of the bar.

[Julie Alvarez]

I am becoming less and less shy taking pictures in public. The thing is the people, when they are your subjects is more difficult. But I do what Erin says and that's OK.

[Puna]

Thank you for the words. I find that I tend to have the opposite problem. I was so excited about photographing a good subject that I sometimes do not make good decisions.

http://lifesignatures.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/you-handled-it-well/

However I am stepping back and realizing that subjects should be respected. I read this article on photocritic.org.

http://photocritic.org/the-world-through-a-lens-photo-etiquette/

Now I try to find the balance between seizing the day and respecting the privacy of others. Now I always ask. Now I feel like a true photographer.

[Lee]

Fantastic. All of it. Truly. Thanks.

[Wanda]

I like this one. I was eating lunch in a Mexican restaurant and had to pull out my camera:

http://whatwouldwandado.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-i-love-first-love-thursday.html

[mary]

I am VERY uncomfortable shooting people or private property without permission, and usually too shy to ask permission... I shot these pics of a house in my town last year, all the while expecting the owners to call the police about the strange lady with the camera...

http://dearlittleredhouse.blogspot.com/2008/11/even-better.html

Guess that's why I concentrate on nature. ;)

[lilia]

I had this breakthrough a few years ago - http://flickr.com/photos/pumpkinoodle/97079799 - it was an incredibly freeing moment, and I really haven't looked back....in fact, I've just gotten braver, I think: http://flickr.com/photos/pumpkinoodle/3061134409

I've learned to ask people before I shoot (they almost always say yes) and have even developed a raised-eyebrow-shoulder-shrug-body-language-inquiry (impossible to translate into the printed medium, apparently) that I use to ask people who are far away, without having to go up and bug them (that's how I got this shot: http://flickr.com/photos/pumpkinoodle/310923610 )

So be brave - you will be proud! :-)

[patti]

Your post could have been written about me. About a year ago while waiting for the subway in Toronto I saw the most regal African gentleman in green traditional garb standing in front of the station sign on the platform across the tracks. I wanted to pull out my camera desperately but chickened out. I've regretted it ever since.

[Eileen]

WOW! You could have been writing about me. I get the same way. I went out early on new years day..no one was even around and I felt that self conscious feeling. I found myself monitoring myself with self talk.."don't get down too low..someone will know you are taking pictures" I felt like I was doing something sneaky! I kept having to remind myself.. that I see others doing the exact same thing and I think nothing of it. I think I feel as though I am drawing attention to myself. I chicken out of a lot of great shots.

[Gayle]

I am also extremely shy. I have not yet gotten up the courage to shoot in a public place. Thank you for writing this. I miss so many great shots because of my shyness. I'll remember this post and try to be brave at the next opportunity!

[Alicia]

One of the goals I've set for myself is to lose the fear of taking pictures. I have started pushing myself to take pictures more often and not worry about what anyone is thinking... It's between me and my camera.

Sometimes, I just feel like sneaking in the pictures, when no one is looking!

http://aliandsethinthecity.blogspot.com/2008/11/people-watching-watching-people.html

Or... I give them money! (Except he posed as soon as I did... not as natural as I would have liked!)

http://aliandsethinthecity.blogspot.com/2008/10/come-together.html

[buttercupyaya]

Though most who know me wouldn't call me shy by any means, my shyness comes to a head when I am behind my lense. Its ridiculous, really, because its only when i am doing something I truly love, and am truly afraid of getting negative feedback, that I shut down - so to speak. Thank you for sharing this story and picture, and what a wonderful man to have helped you get a respite from your shyness, for even a moment.
Dana

[Toni]

Usually I'm a bit shy as well when it comes to taking photos of strangers. I got brave one day in June:
http://dailyvignette.wordpress.com/2008/06/28/a-stroll-in-portland/
And more recently (sort of - it was November) - this was from behind, though, so does it count? :)
http://dailyvignette.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/a-boy-and-his-mom/

[Rebecca]

Wow, so true! Thank you for openning up your experience and helping us feel normal. It helps us all work through our fears and not letting it affect our photography in the end.

[sebrina]

I can really relate to this also. I unfortunately have missed many opportunities because of my shyness. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunmamma/3110973560/
This picture was taken in the lobby of a supermarket. I really wanted a picture of a sunflower but couldn't find any growing near me so I decided to whip out my camera at the grocery store, lol. I felt really weird about as customers were walking in and out, but I got my shot :)

[tonya]

Oh yea, I know more shy photogs than outgoing ones and I am that way too. But I just got back from "Yes Man" and while I don't think I can say Yes to everything, I am going to make a concerted effort to say yes to those things I actually WANT to do, but usuallly shy away from - like worrying about what everyone ELSE thinks when I have my camera out or like shooting strangers.

Glad you went in!

[Kyla]

What a super photo! I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! The thing that pushes me on, is the fact that I might miss a wonderful photo op . . .

Here's my secret capture for today:

http://thekreativelifedailyphoto.blogspot.com/2009/01/january-4-2009.html

[elizabeth]

Good for you! I'm glad you went in.

I need to remember that too, because I am often the same way. I was actually rather uncomfortable taking the shots of this particular church, because there were a few homeless men wandering around the church and I didn't want to make them uncomfortable - but the doors were so very gorgeous and compelling that I just had to take my camera out.

http://retinalperspectives.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/namaste/

[vanessa]

i love this post! and the picture is great! i can't wait to see what other pictures you post with your new found bravery!

[Suvarna]

Me too, it's funny because I thought most photographers were very bold. I thought it was just me that turned 3 shades of red when someone caught me snapping their photo. here is one I took last fall

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10751420@N07/3100279387/

[Suvarna]

whoops forgot to say how much I love this photo, beautiful light in there.

[Tracy]

I adore the photo. What a great opportunity. Wouldn't it be nice if people always offered themselves/their space to be photographed?

[Kath]

I never left the house yesterday, but I took the opportunity to photograph my day anyway! http://3yrplan.typepad.com/soeursdujour/2009/01/swept-away.html

[Kristin]

This is an awesome picture. I haven't yet seized my day.

[Robin]

Oh you have no idea, I have such a social phobia and have missed out on so many pictures because I was afraid to be noticed or whatever. This picture I was actually nervous to take while in Dublin because I was worried the clown would react to it by either giving me an evil look or pulling me into their routine. Luckily, neither happened.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hismuse/3160698631/

[Darius]

You don't seem to have any shortage of support & are much loved by everyone here.
I'll bet that you are loved by everyone who really gets to know you.
I'll not go into how painfully shy I am & what my camera has been doing for me since my first professional photography class in '90 only that I wish that you, your blog & the Internet were around 35 years ago when I first discovered just how shy I really was.
GodYesOrNo.com

[Kim K]

I'm not sure how I found this site (just surfing photo blogs) but I know I'll be here again and again! Thank you for this post...I SO know this feeling of hesitation...but also the THRILL of getting what you want and more when given permission. I love your comment about giving YOURSELF permission. I find I'm needing to give myself permission to do a lot these days. Do we really need permission to take time for ourselves? Thank you, thank you, I'll be back!

[psumommy]

I am a tremendously bashful photographer (bo borrow a phrase from cindy k above...it's the perfect description!); I leave my camera at home. And when I do take it with me, I'm entirely too shy to take it out and use it, even when my hands aren't juggling kids and diapers. I even get too shy to take photos at family functions or at get-togethers with friends; I've gotten so many dirty looks or someone goofing off and ruining a wonderful photo (by jumping into it or waving hands in front of my camera) that I've all but given up. So here's my carpe diem; more of a reminder of what I'd done.

http://nittanymommy.blogspot.com/2009/01/shutter-sisters-carpe-diem.html

[laura-dolcepics]

I also am completely too shy to take photos of anything that is not my own or public property.

About a decade ago (boy I feel old!) the family was out and we all stood together for a photo when suddenly a man sitting at an outdoor cafe yelled "no pictures!" over and over and ran towards us. I think we told him we didn't take any but I know we have the prints of us all looking behind us and the man halfway up from his chair with his finger pointing. Funny but scary at the time.

I can totally understand and respect those who wish not to be photographed and we as photographers have the responsibility to ask for permission before snapping away.... especially if we're on private property or if there are people in the scene.

[nikkole!]

Yes i so too have this fear.
I usually can't take out my camera unless no one is around.
Unless I'm someplace with a bunch of tourists with their camera out...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/_nikkole/3006022103/
like Niagara Falls

[amanda]

I think in 2009 I am going to ask more people if I can shoot them.
I profess this now, but time well tell how brave I am.
I am a lot braver than I used to be.

I took this shot that is so not me but I think its kind of funny.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lyptonvillage/1557766263/

If all else fails, try shooting at their feet
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lyptonvillage/2198324395/in/set-72157603731335774/