self-discovery

Last month I traveled to Haiti with a non-profit organization to document the re-opening of two primary schools that were devastated by the 2010 earthquake. I knew that the experience would be somewhat extraordinary. That as soon as I would land the fears that had been keeping me awake for many many nights would disappear. That I would learn, and hopefully thrive as a photographer. And delight in the discovery of a new culture.

And although my understanding for this country has shifted, and I now have a much better sense of appreciation for life, and respect for photographers who are in the field serving the stories of those in front of the lens, I am mostly grateful for the way this experience has uncovered many layers of my personal story, and helped me discover what I am capable of, what I'm passionate about, and who I truly am. 

Today share with us. What did photography make you discover about yourself?

stolen moments

Just when I thought my night was ready to wind down, my son tells me he has nothing for breakfast the next morning and that we're out of bread to make sandwiches for his school lunch.  To say that I was not pleased about having to go the store at 9 p.m. is an understatement.  I grabbed my keys and purse and stomped out of the house while grumbling all the way to the car. 

Once I arrived at the store, I grabbed a basket and continude my grumbling as I headed out for the items I needed.  Of course the items I need are on both ends of the store.  First I grabbed a loaf of bread on one side and then stomped my way to the other side of the store to the cereal aisle.  I located the requested box of Fruity Pebbles and tossed the box into my cart.  As I prepared to move on, in front of me was a couple, both easily in their 80s.  With their basket sitting in the middle of the aisle, they stood there arguing about which cereal to get and just listening to them made me smile.  

Now I have tell you, I have a thing for the elderly.  I mean, I really do.  If I had a choice of sitting in a room of my peers or a room of senior citizens, seniors win, hands down.  I want to sit with them and soak in as many life lessons from them as I can.  I miss my grandparents tremendously which is why I think I tend to gravitate to seniors so much.  Being near this couple made me miss them even more.   

As I stood there in the company of this sweet couple, my irritation instantly disappeared.  I grabbed my phone and took this photo as they finally decided on their cereal choice and made their way slowly down the aisle. It was my little gift to myself, a stolen moment just for me and I reminded myself that life is too short to sweat the small stuff, fruity pebbles and all.

Today, share your photos of stolen moment with us and let us have a peek inside, too. 

my way of processing

 

When I talk on the phone, I walk, I pace, I wander. Being a very animated person I guess this makes sense. When I express myself, I use my entire body to do it. I notice this is especially true when I’m discussing something creative or when I'm brainstorming or when I’m processing.

The other day I was on the phone with a dear friend. We were having a major heart to heart discussion, as good friends do. It wasn’t unusual that I was walking the perimeter of my back yard. Pacing back and forth across the grass, talking, listening, processing. What was a little curious was that I was also shooting.

Yes, I hear what you’re saying.

Click.

Do you know what I mean?

Click.

Good point, I would have never thought of that.

Click.

I didn't really think anything of it until days later when I processed the photos and thought about what I was processing within myself at the time I clicked the shutter.

In a later conversation with that same friend, I asked her if she knew I was shooting photos while I was talking with her. She didn’t realize at the time but laughed at the thought of it and affirming that it didn’t surprise her at all. She knows that's how I do it. I work through things through photography.

I have discovered over the years how much the art of photograph helps me process my thoughts, ideas and emotions. How the very practice of seeing and shooting helps me make sense of whatever it is I’m going through in both my successes and struggles. Photography, time and time again saves me; in little ways and in big ways but most of all in ways that soothe my very soul.

My Best Shot Monday is one that was captured in my back yard during that conversation with my friend.

Share with us what you discovered this week in your Best Shot.

go boldly

I kept gazing at it, like some mirage off in the distance. After our picnic lunch, we took off on a walk so we could get closer. Up near the dunes, where the river meets the sea, there was a dry storage of sorts. She sat up on blocks with a for sale sign taped to the stern. The colors are what grabbed my attention, and yes, how she sat there proudly as if to sail off into the air.

But oh, those colors!

We all gravitate towards favorites. And this color combination tugs at my heart the most. The boldness it invokes in me and my photography is perhaps why I find myself shooting similiar tones again and again. Can colors make you stronger, more submissive, more aggresive, more melancholy? I allow myself to be more vibrant when shooting colors like this while behind the lens. I don't question this, I simply acknowledge it and gather these strong colors around me like a boisterous tribe of friends.

Photography allows us to go boldly in any direction of the color wheel that we desire. What do you see through your lens? Show us some of your favorite colors today.

a metaphor for self

 

I have a special affection for film. I love the loading of film into a camera. The careful process of threading 35mm film onto the spokes, the advancing of the pick-up reel. I love when I put a pack of film in my Polaroid camera and close the film door, that it immediately comes to life, clicking and whirring and shooting out the dark slide. Film feels so timeless, so classic to me. There’s simply a magical quality about shooting with film. Because you have a limited number of frames when using film, each click of the shutter is special. And that makes you slow down. Film helps you be thoughtful and selective in what, when, and how you shoot. There is a deliberate-ness that comes with shooting film. For me, I feel a wholly different experience when I am shooting with film compared to when I shoot digitally. When I’m out with my Polaroid cameras or my Canon AE-1, I find the time to be contemplative. Meditative

Along with that meditative process, shooting with film feels like allowing for the imperfect. It’s like saying “yes” to the flaws, to the not-so-spot on composition, to the under- or over-exposure. When I’m shooting with film, I’m not shooting 20 photographs of the same vintage car to get the shot “just so.” I’m taking my time, looking through my viewfinder composing and re-composing. And then when I feel ready, I click the shutter, usually just once. And I hope for the best. Sometimes the photograph is just what I had in my mind’s eye, and sometimes, many times, it’s not. And that’s all right with me. Shooting with film takes practice. And that practice means accepting that imperfections are part of the process. Seeing that those imperfections are okay, that they are what make that very image unique and special. That those imperfections are actually quite perfect just as they are – just like us.  

We are works in progress, too. We are the perfect imperfections of being human. Each of us flawed. Maybe a bit off-center. Sometimes over-exposed, like when we feel the harsh spotlight on us. Or maybe we’re more under-exposed, like when we don’t feel seen. As with shooting film, in becoming who we are, we need practice. Practice at being comfortable in our own skin. Practice at speaking up and voicing our needs. Practice at finding our place in the circle. Practice at being who we really are.

Shooting with film is helping me become a better photographer. It’s helping me focus on practice, my one little word for 2012. But more than that, shooting with film is helping me become the truest version of myself.  

Do you shoot with film? What does shooting with film feel like for you? Has it taught you any lessons? Please share a photo you shot with film with us today.

Image and words courtesy of guest shutter sister Meghan Davidson, contributor to Film26.