how we see ourselves

Shutter brother, Artfarmer, in the studio with his self portrait.

Artists use self-portraits to explore the basic question that plagues all of us: who am I? As early as the mid 1400's artists began painting themselves onto canvas. Later, with the invention of the camera (and mirrors) photographers began turning the image (and their artwork) inward as well. Yes, a mirror or a photograph can tell a person what he or she looks like, but we all know that the physical image doesn't reflect the whole self. We all know that photography can be 99% optical illusion. Self-portraiture insists that an artist embark on the journey of self-exploration. This journey of self brings about choices, the main one being how to represent him/herself authentically. You always get to choose how you see yourself, that is the beauty of self portraits. There's a growing group of like-minded friends ready to begin the journey of self... just as artists have done for hundreds of years. Does self portraiture call to you as well? 

There are lots of conversations I've seen online lately discussing the concept of "everyday beauty" and people are torn as to what that exactly means. Some folks feel this phrase has been overused, misused, or misconstrued. Everyday beauty is sometimes not beautiful at all, right? It's messy... we all know this. And so going with the literal definition of "beauty" can be confusing when approaching a topic as broad as art and self. And yet so often we try our best to clean it up. We shine it and polish it and try to make it presentable. Are we caught up in comparing our insides to other people's outsides? We photoshop and airbrush and texturize and soften. I have been known to do these things too, because I want to see what is aesthetically pleasing with my life... and so I organize the composition of my frame to put chaos into order. But can't everyday beauty include chaos? What is real is what is true: it's dishes in the sink, migraines, new love, and decay. Sometimes it screams in your face, sometimes it laughs. 

So, what is beautiful? Everyone has their own opinion. Self is beautiful, as is optical illusion. I believe life and reality... and the thought that we are here at all with our paints and film, exploring these thoughts... that is beautiful. All of it, no matter what, is worth documenting. You are allowed to view your life and your self with whatever filters you want to use. It's your life and your everyday! Your masculinity, your femininity, your weakness, your strength... it's all truth and worthy of being seen.

Today I'd love to hear your thoughts and words on the subject. What do you find yourself portraying most in your images? Why do we do the things we do? Share any images today of what you find to be beautiful, and help us redefine everyday beauty.

now you

It’s hard to explain, but part of me needs to visually define my outer boundaries of who I am as a person, woman, mother, sister, daughter, lover. There is no easier (nor harder) way to do this than through photography. Dare I say self portraiture helps me understand myself. It definitely helps me to be kind to myself, and remember who I am on the days when it’s easy to forget.

Now, after four+ years of self portraits, after traveling to meet like minded women and speak about my self portrait journey; it feels like the ultimate study of self. It has brought me a sense of quiet confidence, even as it brings me more questions about who i am. This is growth (and it is welcome here). 

This project of self I can only define as me seeking grace in the conflict. Seeking beauty in the decay. My self portraits document where I have been and where I am going. A circular timeline put on repeat. This is the peace within. The flurry and chaos. The solitude and stillness of wind. The reminder that life is blooming, that growth moves us forward with joy and anticipation. Self portraits are my practice in remembering it is ok to sit with the silence. And that through all the wreckage and reality, life is still beautiful.

Lessons come from being on the other side of the lens.
(These are thoughts on being seen.) Being seen is as important as sharing your voice.

I am worthy.
And so are you.

Now is the time to take back the control of how we see ourselves. Through the process of self portraiture, we come away with images to remind us the beauty of seeing... and being seen. As women, we are all these pieces of self. NOW is the time to embrace it.

Today I'm very excited to share with you the NOW YOU workshops e-course! This is an amazing online collaboration between myself and Kristin Zecchinelli. Registration opens today! Be sure to check out our website for more details like who we are, pricing and how to register, details about the e-course, and other faq's. Class size is limited, so click on over to read more and reserve your spot in class!

Are you ready to be find that brave beautiful you that dwells inside? Set yourself free of expectation and judgment. Seek and find yourself through your lens. Today share with us your thoughts on self portraiture. Do you enjoy self portraits? Do you loathe them? And please leave your selfies in the comments below. As always, it's great to see you!

make a wish

While watching The Beckoning of Lovely on Friday, there was a moment when the viewer is asked to make a wish and take a photo of oneself while making this wish. What a beautiful thing, prompting the universe to make collective wishes together, and providing a space for those lovely wishes to live on and be seen. I find it so beautiful to see all those diverse faces in a moment of wishing. I have taken many photos of wishing. Birthday wishes, dandy wishes, but never have I thought to take a shot of myself actually wishing. Fun thing is, wishes can be done totally alone if you like. No one there to make you feel uncomfortable, or make you feel like you are wishing too long, or too much, or too hard, nope, no such thing. This is YOUR wish, you get to decide all of those things, just you. No wish is too silly or strange, you can wish for really big stuff or something small. The most delicious part of wishing is no one needs to know, not ever. Your wish is sacred. Your wish is yours to keep. No one can take your wish away. Another awesome thing about wishing is you can do it ANYWHERE. In your car, in your shower, in your bed, in the morning, at night, on a star, on a candle, on an eyelash, on a necklace clasp turned round, on a dandelion, or in your heart of hearts. You can write it down, crumple it up, light it on fire, save it in a jar, or send it on a breeze. Wish alone, or with someone you love. The universe is listening. Go ahead, close your eyes, WISH.. One last perfect thing about wishes? They are unlimited... wish away. go on! No one is keeping score.

Join me in making a wish(es) today.

Take a photo of your wish if you feel moved to do so and share it with us here, or hold it in your heart, just leave a little note here with your name saying you did. I forgot how simple and lovely making a wish feels. Pausing and taking that moment all to myself, it just feels hopeful.

Go on, your wishes are safe here. They are welcome here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

(a special thank you to fellow contributor and artist, Kim Klassen for the use of her lovely one word texture, above.)

thoughts on being seen

Polaroid by Meghan Davidson of Life Refocused

You know when you've had a good rich meal, it takes some time to digest it. I like to sit with the feeling of being full. It's decadent to be so happily content. Sometimes I sit with that feeling a long while. It leaves people wondering, "why's she so quiet?!" This was the case upon my returning from Camp Shutter Sisters. A month has passed. Photos have been shared, as have stories. and yet here I sit, still digesting. Not knowing what it was I wanted to share with others, what it was that I needed to keep sacred, and what was most important for me to focus on for my own growth.

This is my learning.
This is photography, no?

I spent the majority of my time at Camp speaking about self portraits. Here is where words cannot always express the conversations shared. I took no self portraits while I was at Camp. {I find humor in this} I've written before about being seen in real life and the value I place on the gathering of like minds, the importance of community, and the power that is stirred up in the Universe when we share intentions. All these thoughts were magnified during my Camp Shutter Sisters experience.

So, what is it that I brought home with me? It was more than loot and images and laughter and shells. It was the reminder that I am worthy.

We had just come back from a walk. A handful of Shutter Sisters, all of us with cameras. Meghan was holding that old familiar camera, the Polaroid SX-70, same as my fathers. I think we both saw the light at the same time, how could we not? It was streaming in through the windows begging to be seen. An exhale left her lips with a simple string of words, something along the lines of "I'd love to photograph someone in this light."

{let me note that it was jokingly said one morning at breakfast "I just wasn't expecting this... ya know, so many cameras!" And those of us who are camera shy all laughed at the absurdity of this statement. It was a photography retreat afterall. Were we expecting not to be photographed?}

This, being seen by someone else, allowing myself to be seen by someone is a place of growth for me. I can talk with my hands for hours about the importance of putting yourself infront of your lens through self portraiture, and yet when someone else holds the glass to my face I want to shy away. I took note of the light, of her generosity in asking so kindly, and I paid attention to the growing I need to do as a photographer.

These are the lessons that come from being on the other side of the lens.
These are thoughts on being seen.
I sat at the window and took a deep breath.

Why is this so hard for us? This allowing is mostly the unspoken plea, "I am no actress and so I’m freeing my insecurities to just be myself and let you document it." You see, there is trust there. Trust that the photographer sees you as you see yourself. As you feel in your skin. Even without enough notice to actually comb your hair free of coastal fog. This feeling of who we are sometimes does or sometimes does not come across in photos. Photography is mostly optical illusion. But this being seen, dare I say, is real life.

When was the last time you were seen? Today share an image of yourself that someone else has taken. 

*****

Thank you Meghan, for seeing me and sharing this most beautiful moment on film.

i am...

I love how self portraits can be so emotive. 

Whatever you are feeling on any given day can be expressed through the click of your shutter.

They often seem to fit this formula "I am ______ ."

I am... brave, sad, fragile, strong, unsure, sexy, powerful, scared, fierce, tired, trying, angry, loved, exhausted, beautiful, imperfect, worthy, creative , empowered.... the list is endless. One day we readily fill in the blank with something positive, and the very next day it may be quite the opposite. With each click we can express a number of emotions. Trust me, I do not find self portraits easy, but what I do find them to be is 100% cathartic, especially on those not so shiny happy days...  So, if you have not turned the camera on yourself, do try.  Trust that the beauty you find when pointing your camera outward is sure to be found when you turn it on yourself.  

In celebration of this month's One Word, YOU, fill in your own blank today.  What are you feeling right now, in this moment?  Express your word and yourself in a photo and share it with us here today. 

Me?  I am a work in progress ....